Talk like a lawyer... Think like a lawyer! It is my job here to teach you how to be a lawyer.
As I constantly hear this from my professor(s), I ask myself; what lawyer? The judicial system, the one that presupposes its subjects as whole and wholesome demands no less from its enforcers. A Lawyer shall has no gender, no age and no ethnic background. A lawyer shall have no sexual orientation and certainly does not belong in any economic class. A lawyer same as the law is above all terrestrial things.
Talk like a lawyer, think like a lawyer and above all, you must write like a lawyer.
Which lawyer SIR? I dare not ask, the one representing pollutant corporations, the one defending O J, or maybe the one signing eviction forms? What about lawyers for battered womyn, lawyers with Community based organizations in environmental issues, AIDS, Immigration ? I fear the answer:
Believe it or not they all think the same, that’s what makes a lawyer a good lawyer.
The Law is just one, therefore Lawyers are all one (I’m beginning to believe it!).
You must reason like a lawyer,
As I’m struck again by that command, I struggle to understand why, in an accident where one year twins die, the family will get more compensation/money for the male baby than for the female baby? Why is money THE compensation? I fear I will ever “reason” why a young WHITE executive for Coca-Cola will get 80% of the settlement on a plane accident where the Others are Mexicans. I want to challenge that reasoning, SIR!
No! you must understand the reasoning in order to be a lawyer, but to remain being a lawyer you must never, never, never question that reasoning.
Is this a matter of faith, SIR? I agonize.
You can say so, son. If you do otherwise the wrath of the Law/Gods will expel you from church/law school.
Write a sample memo, son.
Hey!!! You explained the law to your client in that memo, your client doesn’t care about the Law!
Your client or my client SIR? You don’t know my client SIR! I reply,
Your client is a client, asshole, they don’t need to understand, (of course he does not say asshole, it just sounds like that).
But Isn’t this classism , racism, ageism, plain bigotry.
That, is the Law son.
We must recognize the difference SIR!
There is no space for difference son, we would have no job and we couldn’t sell justice anymore. You will come to understand that efficiency has a lot to do with this.
Efficiency! that referent has nothing to do with justice, it is an economic referent, a very oppressive one I must add.
Well, son, in the second year you will get to learn of Law and economics is a very broad subject and it explains better how you reach the better good for Society thru efficiency. And you will understand that to maximize the “common wealth”, to “enhance” it if you like. We all have to do sacrifices. Justice must die to keep the law alive! Look at your classmate, he is black and he already understands, that’s why he said last week he doesn’t have any problem with slavery if it is enacted by legislators elected democratically.
Well, what do you mean?
He already thinks like a lawyer, not a black lawyer, but a lawyer. I want you to be like him, son. Please, be a good lawyer.
I never meant that all black lawyers must feel for or against slavery, SIR, I do not speak for black lawyers SIR. I constantly challenge my identity. Also I constantly find refuge in it, but that is very much my choice. You are demanding that I renounce all my identities to this “A Lawyer” bullshit? I am just asking you to give me some space.
Son, there is all the space in the world for you, as long as you become A LAWYER.
Wouldn’t I be then reproducing a system I hate.
There you go, son, you are seeing the way!
AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
I hear you do not want to enter a corporation when you graduate, that is disappointing, son.
No, I want to do other things, maybe teach or practice, civil rights,
oh!, you mean public interests.
No, I mean civil rights shithead (but I never dare say shithead just fantasize about saying it). What’s wrong with that?
There’s no future/money in it, son.
That’s all right, I’ll be happy.
You must think of your future, all this big corporations will take only the people that end up in the 15% top of the class. Do not resist the knowledge we are giving you.
I do not resist but I must put something into it otherwise I am not really being me.
There you go again you can’t be you, you must be a lawyer.
I am having second thoughts.
Well maybe Law school is not for you after all, son.
Maybe not SIR. Could you do me a favor?
Yes?
Don’t call me son anymore.
OK, as long as you keep calling me SIR.
Son, errr I mean student, We don't don't want you to fail. You can do that activist stuff when you graduate.
I do not know what I want to do If I graduate, SIR.
By understanding the reasoning behind The Law you can make changes, using that same reasoning to help poor people.
It is not about being paternalistic, SIR. Those changes that can be made by using that reasoning/language are already contemplated by this system, SIR. While I do those little changes I will be reproducing this system. Some would call that a Pyrrhic victory.
You confuse me student, you can not escape this language, you can not escape this system of thought, you can't create new words! You can not defeat The Law in the name of Justice (whatever that means). Talk about a Pyrrhic victory!
Should we aspire ever to achieve Justice Sir?
We don't need Justice! We have The Law, we own it, son, I mean, student.
I disappear in We, sir, your We excludes me. Your We excludes Others. Others don't own The Law.
You are not making sense anymore, student. Let's rest for today.