With that said, I wanted to tell ALL OF YOU that as I thought carefully on this issue, I haven't changed my prespective. But that's not what I really want to tell you. The reason why I came to this board is because of the diversity and the fun. I never thought I'd learn, shape observations outside of the realm of AMC, or anything else that seemed greater than "trivial" but that's what's happened here since my first posting day (when the board was first created).
This is such an emotionally charged issue for all of us, and I like to sincerely thank you for making me think. Margie, ACPI and II, and YOUR ARE ALL, I disagree, but respect your position. For LisaJ, Basil, AO, Mitch, Tski, Mouse, Negligee, Haden, Sneakers and Chris F. thanks for your honesty. I love you for reinforcing and teaching me a very valuable lesson, because your words are bigger than the issue of homosexuality. You've made reflect outside of this one group, and onto others.
Most of you know that I've known Andy for 18 years (I guess that makes me 24? NOT!). Although his comments have offended some, he's coming from a place that's truley closer to home than, I believe most of us can relate to (save Mitch). Andy's been one of the best "teachers" I could have. Incidentally, very little of which has to do with homosexuality. I wish that I could encapsulate 18 years of experience with this man, and share it with you. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not apologizing for him. He's an intelligent, capable man who's opinions (while I may or may not agree with) I still love and respect. I just want to give you that perspective.
This topic, sans the angst, has been valuable to me. I hope this doesn't get yanked tomorrow morning. I hope people visit this. Maybe they'll change their perspective, or maybe it'll reinforce what they already believe. I don't know. I just hope this adds value for someone, the way it has for me.
Thanks for letting get that off my chest.
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I don't know how long it'll take me to get this posted, since my internet keeps cutting off on me, but I'm gonna try. I'm really glad you responded to clear this up, Margie. I was hoping you would. The word lesbian doesn't offend me, BTW, but it seemed that you were pointing that out in your original post. I think that's why this whole thing got so blown up like it did. As I said in one of my other responses, I didn't see any reference to Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman adopting, so I wonder if you were as shocked at their doing so as you would be by a lesbian couple or a single woman. I do want to reiterate that I agree with you that celebrities seem to be given special treatment that regular citizens are not, but that didn't seem to be the only point of your original point. I also want to say, as I did below, that I think many of the responses here have been directed more to the anonymous ''concerned parents'' than they were to you. And you are definitely entitled to your opinion, as you pointed out. Thanks for clearing it up for us...AO
Thanks, Margie, for your response. I don't think the issue was your right to express an opinion. In a way, I'm glad topics like this are posted, not because of the agnst or in-fighting, but because it causes me to really think about and learn from others. Although I don't agree (see my original comments) I still respect that you've chosen to post this topic and discuss your views honestly. Thanks again. Bell
Thanks for responding to all this Margie. I knew what you meant but also saw how things could get out of hand really quick. Welcome Margie, I don't think I have seen a post from you before. eom Raggedy
I'm a fifties kid. My brother and I were raised in a family where we were taught that whites stayed with whites, and blacks stayed with blacks. We were also taught that homosexuality was wrong and against Gods teachings.
So how come my brother and I don't adhere to what our parents taught us? His daughter is married to a black man and my two nephews are bi-racial.We adore all of them. How come we don't have a problem with our dear friends who are gay? What happened to those things our parents instilled in us--their prejudices, their beliefs?
My parents also taught us to be open minded and fair. As my brother and I educated ourselves and opened our minds, we were able to see how wrong and misguided our parents prejudices were. They weren't bad people, just very ignorant.
So as I reflected on my holiday, I was pleased that I didn't think like my parents and some of their generation.I also believe that my generation was becomeing more accepting of different lifestyles.
Then I came to the board and sadly realized that bigotry and ignorance is still alive and well. I also had to wonder why ''concerned parent'' and ''another concerned parent'' didn't use their regular posting names. Is it because they know that their beliefs show an appalling lack of insight and tolerance.
And to Andy, Lisa, Bell, Mitch and all the others who spoke so elequently (and who, I think, showed amazing restraint, considering some of the idiotic statements ACP I and II made) you expressed what I feel, only you did it
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Very eloquently & intelligently expressed. Glad I let other more reflective, objective people respond, I was ready to burst a blood vessel, so held back. Thank you!---Negligee
Thanks, B! I don't want to sound trite or insincere, but I value your input for a number of reasons which I won't go into here. Suffice it to say, you never fail to give me more and better ways to view issues that aren't seemingly one or two sided. eom.bell
The original post was questioning the fairness of CELEBRITIES who are able to adopt seemingly on a whim. The original post was NOT condemning adoption by gay couples.
Get a grip, people. It is not fair that CELEBRITIES can adopt so easily while other couples have to wait and jump through hoops for years. Honestly, I believe that is all the poster was trying to say.
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I do agree that Margie seemed to be bringing up the point of celebrity in her original post. But she also clearly and unmistakably referenced the homosexuality issue in that post. As far as the celebrity issue, I agree that they seem to be given special treatment. AO
I disagree. But that's my opinion. I didn't read between the lines, maybe I should have like everyone else seems to have. Maybe I'm just naive but I think the Ellen thing on Dave was what set her off. Is Rosie O'Donnell gay? I hadn't heard. I whole heartedly believe that when she said 'normal' people, she meant normal vs celebrity. Maybe I'm wrong. But I read the post over and over and unless you read between the lines, that is what it says.
I also thought that was going to be the gist of the post-- the speedy adoptions by celebrities. However, when Marge distinguished between gays and ''normal'' people, she crossed the line and it was no longer about celebrities, it was about gay celebrities. I was very offended. eom basil
And just for the record: I don't think it's wrong or detrimental to a child's growth and development as a human being to be raised by a gay couple, a multi-racial couple or two parents with different religious views and beliefs. It's love, unconditional love and support that a child needs to fully develop into a well rounded, well grounded, productive member of society.
I initially read the ''normal'' reference as meaning straight too, basil, but later saw it as meaning not celebrity. However, to the other person above, I don't think I was really reading between the lines there. Margie very clearly said both in her topic title and in the post itself, Ellen Degeneres and her ''lesbian lover'', so it seems to me that she was pointing out their being lesbians. In other words, I think she was saying that even though these people are lesbians, because they're celebrities they can adopt, whereas normal citizens cannot. Maybe that's reading between the lines, but I really don't think so. Besides, many of the responses here are directed at the ''concerned parents'' who responded to the topic, moreso than the actual topic, in my opinion. AO
What she said, and I quote, is: Is it fair that CELEBRITIES seem to get babies that are up for adoption when there are thousands of NORMAL PEOPLE LIKE ME AND YOU...clearly she was comparing celebrities to us everyday folk. Maybe if she had used a different example than a lesbian couple this whole thing wouldn't have gotten so ugly.
I read it as both issues: Celebrity Adoption and Homosexual Parents. I responded to both items in my first post, further down the page. Everyone who's responded has read the Margie's topic the same way I did. The 'Normal' part stuck in my throat, evidently a lot of us feel the same way. Eom.bell
And if you read the responses very carefully, you will see that it was LisaJ. (as usual) that started this whole mess.eom
I'm sure you're right. But then I don't think the topic would've been posted at all if it wasn't about Ellen Degeneres and her lesbian lover and Rosie O'Donnell, who may or may not be gay, but is single which is an issue for some people. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman are just one example of a heterosexual couple who have also adopted children, and I don't see their names being brought up here. AO
Well, not much more I can say except that it's too bad this got blown so out of proportion. I still think you took the normal out of context. I'm on your side, by the way, as far as adoption by gay couples goes. I still, however, don't think that's what she meant, but I've been wrong before.
I do not profess to be the definative source on all the questions plauging society. Nor will I pretend. I speak from my practices, beliefs and lessons I learn everyday.
To that end, I've broken my rule of discussing my religious beliefs in a broad forum. (See Sillywim's Jesus topic.) Not for any reason other than for me, religion is intensely personal and I quite frankly have a problem with Christian "double standards". I don't want to be perceived that way. I believe in practicing respect, which is hopefully manifested in my behavior, for others regardless of their views, value systems, etc. (Other than one's disposition, I have difficulty with mean and malicious people.)
Please don't use teaching of the Bible to tailor responses to support your contentions. I am not an expert in the Bible, however, I know enough to get the basic point. This point transcends all religious denominations, and even groups that do not subscribe to a "higher power(s)".
I can only simply state to you, as a Christian that GOD IS LOVE. Even those who do not believe will recognize the basic, most fundamental, universal premise of kindess, and appreciation (I substitute for the word "tolerance" which is an ugly word for me).
If only from a sense of valuing diversity and raising children, be they your own or other lives you impact and influence, I beg to keep this in mind. We make decisions, which affect and impact others with our values, actions, behaviors. We literally own societal views. In the mess that's our world today, this is something that so easily can be positively changed. I'm referring to hate, a lack of knowledge, and understanding.
I don't intend to sound like I'm lecturing, my apologies if that's the tone. I just ask that you take time to truely consider and ponder the comments below.
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Well said Bell, and just FYI I do think your attitude comes across, your example is one that many could benefit from eom Raggedy
Bell- its unfortunate that people hide behind the bible when they know they are wrong. I really doubt that God had that in mind as a way to use the Good Book. I feel really sorry for those who limit their minds and the minds of their children by using calling their ignorance the word of God. What a terrible crime to perpertrate on a child and on the rest of the world. I think that our newest anon trouble makers are just bored people who like to cause trouble...after all, we know the nutcases come out on the weekends. If the Anons read the below posts (and while I hope they do, we all knwo that they are stuck in their bigotry) I find it unfortunate that they feel they have to tell us how bigoted they are. I wonder how they'd feel if their own children came home and came out. Or would their kids kill themselves rather than have to face them? I think that our Anaons are objects worthy of pity, nothing more. LisaJ
I agree with the things you said bell, and the comments below your post here. I also do not like to discuss religion on this board, because I respect the fact that there are various beliefs here. But because I am a Christian, I am always offended by remarks by people who use the Bible to condemn and spread hatred. That is an ugly representation of Christianity. So to those people who use the Bible to say that homosexuality is a sin, period, I say pull out your Bible and reread it. It also says ''all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.'' And it says ''Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.'' I also suggest that you read the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:14-15, and Matthew 7:1-5. I don't know about you, but that rules me out of the judging panel here. AO
Lisa J, Do you keep a straight face when you condemn anonymous troublemakers? Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black. Aren't you the queen of anonymous, bored, troublemakers. It just seems that with your history, you wouldn't be so fast to criticize what you have done, probably more often then most. You aren't fooling anyone here, Lisa
Please stay focused on the issue. The topic isn't about LisaJ. I get the impression that you're offended by LisaJ's feedback. I'm sure LisaJ respects your comments, related to this topic. I, for one, appreciate your candor. And I'm sure that you feel we are entitled to express ourselves. Please don't turn this into a separate argument. I know we're all very impassioned about this issue, but let's keep it focused. Thanks! bell
I love my kids immensely. They know how I feel. They know that I don't understand it and have a hard time with it, but they also know that I don't judge people because of their sexuality. I look at the person, not who they're sleeping with. And I sincerely hope that if one of my kids were gay, they would feel that they could tell me without fear of rejection.
As far as the Bible goes, I really agree with Andy on this one. You can pick and choose verses out of the Bible to validate pretty much anything you want to validate. You have to look at the whole message there. The message I receive from the Bible is one of love and forgiveness, and of leaving judgement up to our maker.
If you are truly concerned for the children, then I believe you should start by looking at the things you yourself do that would cause problems for children with gay parents, and start by changing that. That's just my humble and honest opinion.
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Very well said, AO. I just wish there wasn't so much prejudice in the world. Eom...jly
Nice job, AO. You hit the point with honesty and sincerity. Good for you! Eom.bell
VERY well said, AO.---Negligee
I would like to thank my friends who defended gays here with their comments...I know that when people like '' another concerned parent'' are loading us onto cattle cars for transit to extermimation camps, I can probably count on a few of you to help!
The attitude with which ''another concerned parent'' voices her bigoted opinions parallels EXACTLY the rhetoric used by ''good, upstanding'' Germans to explain away their complicity in the genocide of the Jewish people.
To this day, their are Germans who SWEAR they didn't know what was happening...even though you couldn't skip a stone in Germany without hitting a prison, labor or death camp...Stop cloaking your hate, fear and EXTREME ignorance with the Bible...keep in mind that many of the people you preach to are NOT EVEN CHRISTIAN....we've got some Jews, we've got some Hindus we've got some Buddhists, we've got some Agnostics...stop acting as if you've got the spirituality market cornered, okay???
And even though I try to adhere when possible to the old adage: ''Never wrestle a pig...you only get dirty and the pig enjoys it''...i've got to take moment to address your incredibly ignorant commment about ''all gays you know being feminine''...i'm sure that's true...but what you in your little ivory tower of self-righteousness don't realize is that with your attitude, any gay person you know who is able to pass for straight (and there are MILLIONS, sweetheart...I did women for YEARS and no one figured it out) would sooner KILL themselves than come out to a moralizing BIGOT like yourself. And the saddest thing is that thousands of adolescents DO kill themselves every year because they've had the supreme bad luck in the cosmic craps game to land a pair of parents like yourself.
So instead of ''praying'' for our poor condemned souls, why don't you look around and see how you can REALLY help society? Maybe get involved in stopping the epidemic increase in sexual molestation cases, the majority of which are perpetrated by HETEROSEXUAL PARENTS on their own children???
And finally, STOP PRACTICING SELECTIVE LITERALISM!!! (i am pausing here to give you time to get a dictionary, sweetie)....I love the way people like you latch onto very specific passages in your bible and wage holy wars defending it, yet you ignore many other passages that are given equal weight by the bibles's authors????? Do you mix your fabrics??? Uh-oh..you're GOING TO HELL!! Do you lobby congress to pass bills to have all adulterers stoned to death???? Well, the bible clearly states that this should be so... Clean up your own backyard, babe, before you break out your biblical weedwhacker, alright?
That aside, see you all elsewhere in 1998...I"ve got to go put on my Sunday Dress and get over to the florist so I can start my weekly flower arrangement before my first hair appointment shows up...we're giving her a weave, and then we're going to our bi-weekly gay agenda meeting to discuss the dissemination of cock-rings into the school system.
Cheers!
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Andy, I am sorry that this topic has once again come up and I am sorry that you were hurt by it. I am glad you brought up selective literalism because it is a very salient point. When I read religious documents I look for the meaning beyond the literal one and often when I find it I am quite surprised that it has little to nothing in common with the surface meaning. eom Raggedy
Your attitude-----
I don't know who you are nor do I much care. But what I do care about is your use of O's and X's in your flame. As far as I know I am the only one on the board who uses that and I do not want others to be confused so will you please find another way to fill in the blank spaces please. eom Raggedy
Andy, I have a question I would like you to answer. How come you just assume that I am a woman. Using the
Andy, I have a question I would like you to answer. How come you just assume that I am a woman. Using the
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If you read the original post again, I think she was comparing Normal vs Celebrity.
Another Concerned Parent, if you had told your friend ---who died from AIDS,
"If you want to adopt and love, Adopt a Pet." And
"Our world is not a playground for adults to experiment with children, for their own pleasure.",
as you've said here; don't you think he would have found that completely insulting and offensive?
I did.
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You have the 2 posters mixed up. There are 2 concerned parents...
Okay, I ask the same question of A Concerned Parent...eom...Mitch
No I don't think he would have found it insulting. I think he would have looked at it from a childs eyes.eom
Well, honey, this gay child is telling you YOU ARE OFFENSIVE...eom...Mitch
Okay sweetheart, I apologize for insulting you!
Okay, now apologize to all the other gays, their families and friends who've you've insulted with your PATENTLY OFFENSIVE remarks...eom...Mitch
I don't think so, and what is so offensive?
Okay, so the two ''Concerned'' --- but anonymous --- '' Parents'' are equally OFFENSIVE. But your ''Our world is not a playground for adults to experiment with children, for their own pleasure'' is offensive for any of us --- gay or straight --- who sincerely do care about children. When you say ''I don't give a rats (sic) a$$ if you are gay or not.'', as you've just said to me, I say you obviously care a great deal about a person's gayness. You've certainly cared enough to make an issue out of it here...And as far as ''just expressing an opinion'', as I posted below, you stepped over the ''opinion'' boundery and into pure homophobia...eom...Mitch
Mitch, no one is making an issue of this but you. It has gotten to the point of being ridiculous. Only because you can't seem to accept that I think kids should have a female for a mother, and a male for a father. Perhaps you should seek professional help for your own insecurities. Good luck. Eom
Excuse me, but while only a woman can give birth, any loving person can mother a child. But I don't guess you hear me do you..must be hard with your head so far up your butt.....LisaJ
And you're getting more offensive and insulting all the time...eom...Mitch
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Haden, I feel bad because you're the only responce without a flame war benath it! :) So I just want to tell you that I think your story is remarkable and touching. eom/Chris F.
You have phrased your argument well, but it is cloaked in a lack of knowledge. I am not trying to insult you, but having been parented at times by my uncle and his significant other (who babysat both my brother and myself) I am speaking on this issue from experience, not from naivete.
Women and men have different equipment for baby-making, and for that I will always be eternally grateful, but both men and women are capable of great nurturing when given a chance. Men no longer have to be the hunters, women no longer must be nuturers. Stringent adherence to traditonal roles have gone by the wayside thank god. Minds have opened, hearts have opened.
In addition, the majority of heterosexual couples I know who are willing to adopt only want healthy, white infants, and while that certainly is their right, mores the pity. People who do not fit your mold of what constitutes a good parent (i.e., gay) are usually more willing than a straight c
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SEEMS I GOT CUT OFF, SO HERES THE REST...People who do not fit your mold of what constitutes a good parent (i.e., gay) are usually more willing than a straight couple to adopt a handicapped child because they are more aware than most of what its like to be an outcast in a society where different means being an object of derision. Doesn't that experience alone give a gay couple a head start in dealing with any nasty or rude comments that might come the way of their children? I am a straight woman, currently un-attached, and have no children, but like all of us I was a child once. I was lucky to have grown up in an open-minded family where love and respect were the order of the day, and ones sexuality was and continues to be a non-issue...........LisaJ
Under your other post. eom ACP
ACP....A child grows up with the values they learn at their parents table. I find it highly unlikely that gay parents would raise their child to hate their own lifestyle. Nor would they ever encourage their child to participate in a lifestyle that the child is not genetically set for. A loving parent would never push a child into any sexual direction he/she is not suited for. Ask any gay person who tried living 'straight' to please their families. Luckily, people are not stuck in closets anymore. And sexuality is becoming something of a non-issue as people become better educated. As Bell said, children are resilient by nature. If, for a time the child of a gay couple resents their lifestyle because it makes them an object of ridicule, then they are no different than any other child/teen who is mortally embarrassed by being seen with their geeky parents at the mall. I think your concern is genuine, but unwarranted. If you are worried about children, I would focus my concren on those who are hungry, homeles
LisaJ, you are entitled to your opinions, as I am to mine. Even tho I disagree with you, I still respect your opinion.eom
No, when you go around spreading disinformation about a group of people are already discriminated against, you have overstepped the boundaries of mere ''opinion''...eom...Mitch
There you go again. Remember, there are 2 posters with similar posting names.
No, I don't think so. You are 'A Concerned Parent' with the response above mine, aren't you? If not then somebody's USING your name --- which by the way, everybody here has the decency to use their own name and not hide behind anonymity the way the two 'Concerned Parents' do...eom...Mitch
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Blow it out your twat. Goodnight and have a joyous New Year.
Was it really necessary to post such an ugly/crude reply? You could have disagreed, without being so rude. Eom/mouse
Hi Another Concerned Parent, you didn't deserve the response that you got. I just want to say that I believe that God created all of us. I feel that people are born gay and that they have just as much choice as we have on our gender or race. That old saying about Adam and Eve and Adam and Steve is just a poem to me. Not to be confused with alterative live styles. If you truly know anyone that is gay you will know that being gay is something that has been with them as far back as they can remember. JMHO. eom Tski
I honestly believe in my heart that a person is born gay, doesn't turn gay. This is my own opinion.
Just to clarify here...I was refering to the post ending with,'have a Joyous New Year', not the concerned parent post. Although I do not believe a person's race, religion, sexual orientation, nationality, etc., etc, has any bearing on their ability to love & nurture a child, into a decent, loving human being. Jmho/eom/mouse
Mouse I believe that we are on the same page. My comment was to Another Concerned Parent. What I have to say to you is you indicated that God didn't create gay people. I don't believe that. It sounds like you're saying that he created gay people but didn't want them to be together. Please forgive me if I miss took you. I guess I don't understand what you were trying to say. Please help me with this cause I really want to know. I don't normally get into these debates but I really want to know. Thanks!! eom Tski
The Bible says that homosexuality is a sin. I still beleive that gay people are born gay, and do not turn gay. I think its in the genes of a person. The gay people I have known have always been of the feminine nature. I might add that most of the gay friends I have known are hilarious! I am not an expert on this subject. The bottom line is we all have impulses and desires. A person has to know when Stop or cross that thin fine line. The applys to all compulsive behaviors or addictions.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! You are too much! I picture you in black and white in a Donna Reed dress making PB&J sandwiches while singing Patti Page ditties! You are one backwards HOOT!!!! (Andy)
Andy...You come across to me as a very angry miserable person. What you replied to me showed your true colors.
ACP, I'm confused...first yousay you believe people are 'born gay'. Then you end by stating that people need to know when to 'STOP, & not cross the line of addictions/compulsions'. Perhaps I misunderstood. Like TSKI, I am trying to understand your point of view, even though I don't agree with it. I believe people are BORN into their sexual orientation. Look at the kids who were 'changed' into the oppsosite sex at birth, due to mutilated/deformed genitals, raised as that sex. These kids are just now, as young adults, finding out WHY, they've always felt 'different', & are taking steps needed to corrct it, IE, getting the surgery to put them physically back, to their intended gender. No, you cannot
ACP, what I want to know is how can you say that God didn't create Adam and Steve and turn around and say that you believe people are born gay. It seems to me that you really don't know what you believe except that you are a bigot. eom Tski
I COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT BETTER. HOMOSEXUALITY IS A SIN SIN SIN SIN SIN SIN. SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUT! I'M NOT READING ANY OTHER RESPONSES BYE.
To all our new/old anon posters...as you can see, your homophobic responses are not being recieved with open arms. This board is happy to embrace the people who you so joyously malign. Based on theat, why not go find a board that suits your small mindedness. I hope i can take you at your word that you are leaving, because although this is a 'public' forum, its clear that you are here to make trouble. And the only trouble seems to be YOU. LisaJ
OK, I've stayed out of this, but I feel I have to add something--all kids get teased. My dad is smart, should he have been told not to have me and my brother because one of us might be tesed about being smart? Should nearsighted people be told not to have kids because their offspring might need glasses? Should we tell immigrant couples not to reproduce because their kids might have accents? eom/Chris F.
It sounds to me that your post is two fold: 1.) Celebrity-dome (if that term will work) and 2.) Gay parents.
Let me respond to the first. I'm not sure that I would off handedly agree that celebs get breaks. I believe they have the ability to draw attention because of their celebrity. Also, perhaps in spite of their celebrity, what would normally be an issue of non-interest becomes fodder for the media, because the person(s) are well known. Suddenly, items that would not otherwise make the news if it involved ourselves or the next door neighbor become headlines, because the person(s) are public figures. Now, I realize that privacy is limited when one is such a figure. That'simply goes with the territory.
To address the second item, I must confess that I heartily disagree. I suspect your intention is to say that in a perfect world a child needs both a female / mother figure as well as a male / father figure. Now, I am NOT a parent, but as a "child" I can draw a few conclusions. I'll sum up quickly: this isn't a perfect world. Parents, regardless of gender can be good or bad. The primary difference between this dichotomy is the parent's ability to love. That, I am certain, is the single most important foundation for parenthood.
I'm sure if you look around, you'll probably note "good" and "bad" parents. How many people do you know that have had the "traditional" parental figures and still have "issues" or "problems". Or, even if you don't know anyone personally, how many guests have you seen on Oprah, Jenny Jones, or the evening news?
I'm certain that the ability to raise a child in a secure, loving, safe environment has nothing to do with a parents sexual orientation.
I've known three homes which were headed by either a single gay person or a couple. One adopted child was an AIDS baby and a pair of twins, who had been labeled "developmentally disabled", were adopted by the couple --- a physical therapist and an LPN. All of these adopted children are infants. The extended families are all very proud of the guys and have accepted the children into their families as well. What the long term effects of these relationships are, I cannot say. Some of the other posters here, I'm sure, feel gay families are somehow doomed from the start. But I don't see it that way. All I've seen is love, hope and compassion
The third instance involved a man and a woman. They had a son before he started --- late in life --- being honest with himself and his family about his gayness. I wasn't there for the initial shock but, by the time I met this family, the father's sexuality was pretty much a non-issue.
Why should the sexuality of an adopting parent bother you or anyone else? If a child is raised with love, why should it matter?
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Good for you, Lisa, at being able to cut to the bottom line. Loving parent should be the focus of any adoption. Eom.bell
Thanks LisaJ. This topic bothered me when I first saw it this morning. I couldn't put it better. eom Tski
LisaJ - I agree with what you're saying here (BTW, did you read about the two gay men, I think they're in NJ, who adopted a child recently?), but I have a question, actually it was raised in the article I read about the gay men who adopted a baby - what about a child's ''need'' for both a mother and a father, i.e., a parent of each gender? I know in this day and age of divorce, etc., that single parenthood is very common, but still, I wonder about the whole issue of parentS, as in plural, as in a mom and a dad. This, IMHO, would be the ''ideal'' environment for a child. But of course, life is far from ''ideal.'' Just expressing my thoughts. Thanks. Eom/Sneakers
LisaJ., I don't know if you have (inside)
Hi ACP: I peeked into your response to Lisa. Just out of curiousity, what will or have you explained to your child(ren) about homosexuality? Is it the same about heterosexuality? Why can't children of gay couples be afforded the same honesty? Why can't we learn to recognize that, as with different cultures, we have differences from a sexual orientation? I'm learning that these discussions are teaching me greater appreciation for homosexuality. (I hate the word 'tolerance'.) Therefore, I'd be interested in your input, ACP. Thanks! Eom.bell
Well said, Lisa. Love is Love, no matter where it comes from! I would much rather see two, adoring parents of the same sex, get a child, than see a child go to a 'normal' couple, & be neglected & abused. Eom/mouse
Bell, this is what I tell my kids...
Thanks, ACP, for your response. I see your perspective and also sense that you have a very strong sense of love for children, regardless of whether they're your own or not. I guess I still would disagree, though. Other children can be mean and vicious, in the way you pointed out, however I think parents are accountable to raise those kids with a sense of fairness and honesty. After all, this isn't the 50's anymore, and while I realize racism is alive and well, I cannot believe it's as prevelent as it used to be. Also, children are amazingly resilient. Their capability to adjust and adapt is significantly better than adults. Finally, I think there is such thing as 'global apartide' in that at least every group (gay, Asian, Middle Eastern, women, etc) peoples have been discriminated against, and unfortunately probably will continue. In any case, I feel like I've taken up a lot of space. ACP, you are entitled to your opinion, but I still disagree with your contentions. (I hope that doesn't sound snotty, because I don't intend it that way.) Thanks for taking the time to respond and giving me a better understanding of your perspective. eom.bell