Topic Posted by: Claudette
Email:Ohio
Date Posted: Sat Apr 19 0:17:02 1997
Additional Comments: Are you Gay, Straight or Bi-sexual?
Posted by: Pierce the creep Email:Your Id Date posted: Tue Apr 22 18:06:21 1997
Message: I'm straight and wish there were more gay people around! I think homophobia keeps many in the closet. My theory that things like sports and fraternities are havens for repressesed homosexual men. Why would a young man at his sexual peak join an organization that doesn't allow women? Of course, lesbians kick serious ass because they're free of a lot of the bs that holds women down.
Here's a funny thing I always wonder about the Homophobe/Republican/Religious Right set. Why are they so against same-sex marriage? Why are they so against people just being happy? Half of all straight marriages end up in divorce and who knows how many of the other 50% are unhappy. What do they have against happieness? Gay marriage isn't undermining my family or our values. Maybe those rightwingers are just jealous. Hmmm....
Posted by: BarFly Email:the He's Not Here Lounge Date posted: Tue Apr 22 15:17:10 1997
Message: Once, when I was in my early twenty's, I thought I was in love with a beautiful gay man. He thought (let me stress that, he thought) he felt something for me and was willing to venture into unexplored territory (if you know what I mean). Needless to say, I didn't take me very long to realize this was just a temporary infatution on his part and I was a wonderful tool to use to fool his family. He invited me over to his familys house and introduced me as his long time girlfriend and his mother started to cry, hugging me and saying "Welcome to the family sweetheart, we are so gald to meet you". I was so upset with him for telling his family a lie and using me to try to be something that we both agreed (prior to that day) that would not work and we would just remain friends. After that day, he has not spoken to me since.
Posted by: Lorraine Email:xxxx Date posted: Tue Apr 22 4:18:53 1997
Message: I'm a lesbian. Was straight for the first 30 years of my life
and have two teenage boys. I've been a lesbian for 10 years
now and am glad that I finally realized who I really was.
I'm one of those "lipstick lesbians" - straight looking with
feminine features, so most people don't suspect. Not that
I would care if they did, they're just usually surprised
when they find out. I'm single and people who don't know
want to set me up with their brother, cousin, friend, friend's
friend, etc - all men. Some of them have really cute sisters,
female cousins, female friends of friends, mothers, daughters,
and co-workers. Can't they set me up with any of them? But
no, that's too wierd for them.
Anyway, I like being single most of the time. I can lay in
bed and read at night, be on the internet, watch my tapes
of the soaps, and do just what I want without anyone bugging
me about it or expecting me to do something else. The times
I don't like being single are the occassional feeling of
loneliness and wishing I had a companion and lover. Being
lesbian reduces the amount of available people out there
for me.
Oh my, didn't mean to go on so much. Glad someone posted
this. Thanks everyone for being so honest and accepting.
After all the problems with posts, I'm glad there's no gay
bashing going on here.
Replies:
To Lorraine
One question...
To Silliwim
WoW Your Honest
Posted by: Amanda Email:nah Date posted: Mon Apr 21 11:59:05 1997
Message: Straight, single, nineteen, white female, but I have a crush on one of my gay male friends.....what am I supposed to do????
Replies:
Don't do anything!!!
Thanks for the advice, but a
Posted by: basil Email:xxx Date posted: Mon Apr 21 11:03:15 1997
Message: I'm straight. But I wish I were bi-sexual. Doubles your choices. I have awful luck with men and if it weren't for the electronic age, I'd never get any.
Replies:
LOL...
Posted by: Kelly O Email:na Date posted: Mon Apr 21 10:47:49 1997
Message: I'm a straight female. My husband and I joke around about me finding a 3rd party and bringing her home for a little fun, but I have a feeling if I did he wouldn't know what the hell to do! I couldn't do it anyway, no problem personally with it, but would be way too jealous (can't "share")
Replies:
Kelly O...
Actually, I've heard.....
To Tina H and Lorraine
Posted by: Maria Email:SanMateo,CA Date posted: Mon Apr 21 5:35:28 1997
Message: I'm straight but I'm very gay friendly :) My best friend of 12 years is a gay man and he's like a brother to me. I'm very proud of him (shameless plug) anyone from Los Angeles, he's the disturbingly handsome man on page 92 of Buzz Magazine. He owns a couture salon there. But I digress. I am engaged to a wonderful and non-homophobic man who gets along great with my gay friends. On an AMC note, I will be very sad to see Mike Delaney (Chris Bruno) leave the show. I was proud of AMC for that storyline, now I just wish they could've done more with it.
Replies:
Maria...
Posted by: Minnie Mouse Email:Disneyland Date posted: Sun Apr 20 21:51:32 1997
Message: This is a serious topic, so here's my 2 cents worth. I'm straight of course married for almost 9 years. I have gotten in spats for a long time about this subject with him. I do believe he is homophobic. This is so hard for me my cousin was gay, he died from AIDS a year ago last January. He was so against me seeing him, I remember he was so close to death, my husband said he aint going to die tonight. He didn't want me to go, unfortunately he did die that night. If I hadn't already said my goodbye I probably would still be holding a grudge. I don't care if your straight, gay or bisexual, no-one desearves to die like that it's inhumane. Anyone else out there with any husband, or wives who feels this way. So now me and my husband kinda just leave it alone, and he know's how i feel and I know how he feels. I really could use some feedback on this subject anyone else have a family member who is or has died of AIDS? Don't get me wrong my husband is a wonderful person, this is just one thing he believes is a sin, and I always tell him aren't we not suppose to judge, only only creator can do that.
Replies:
My cousin too!
Posted by: lisak Email:lisak@psci.net Date posted: Sun Apr 20 18:26:09 1997
Message: I am what most politicians call a liberal social worker, I fight for rights for everyone and really like that part of my job. I am a single mother with three beautiful kids and a pretty neat guy. I was married for 10 years but left when I realized I didn't need to be a co-dependent anymore, long story. I was one of those welfare moms,see post below and put myself through college after my divorce. I admit i did a lot of things i'm not proud of to make it through. The system is set up that way. I am finally ready to take the plunge again and scared sh*tless, but I know it is right. We have been together three years and I guess I'll let him stick around. he is good to me and the kids and is there when I need him.
Replies:
You go girl!!!!
Posted by: Mitch Email:pmitch01@msn.com Date posted: Sun Apr 20 14:13:50 1997
Message:
After re-reading my post below, I think I was being too flip and glib about a subject which obviously deserves better treatment.
The following was originally printed, after much back and forth with the editorial department, in the Philadelphia Inquirer last September. While it's my own story, it was written in memory of a friend not much older than I am and whose parents first had him institutionalized for being homosexual and then agreed to shock therapy treatments. This is what was published:
Regarding the Employment Discrimination Act which failed to pass the Senate by one vote yesterday, perhaps the fifty Senators who voted against the measure might benefit from my own experience and realize for which status quo they effectively voted.
For eleven years -- eleven years -- I could not go out of my family's house in Philadelphia without being harassed for being gay, not to school, not to the corner grocery store or to visit the only friend I had at the time. When it became apparent to that friend that I was gay, he was no longer my friend. Pretty soon I did not leave the house at all. Not going to school only made matters worse; I was constantly threatened by truant officers and family alike with being sent "to reform school, where God only knows what will happen to you". Complaining of homophobic treatment in a Catholic school was absolutely out of the question for obvious reasons.
I have been hit, spat upon, ordered from friends' homes by their parents, virtually disowned by my own parents, propositioned by adults while I was still a minor, threatened and treated with contempt even by members of my own family. Never because of anything I did to those people, all because I was merely suspected of being homosexual.
Moving to San Francisco helped some, but the attitudes I faced as a child have not gone away, even here in "liberal" SF. As Truman Capote once said, "No matter how sophisticated you think straight people are, as soon as you leave the room, you're 'that f***ing pervert'.". He, of all people, was in a position to know. Though there is a non-discrimination policy put in place by my employer and there are city and state anti-discrimination laws, homophobia still exists below the surface. At least with laws in place we stand a chance of relief from these attitudes.
Message Responses
Subject: Mitch.....
Response Posted by: Sillywim
Email:ew
Date Posted: Sun Apr 20 14:37:19 1997
Message: Is that your life? I feel bad that you still have to deal with these issues. I guess no matter how educated people are, homosexuality will always be taboo in some circles. I was born and raised in the SF Bay Area, and although I am straight, I have a lot of gay friends. Their sexuality is not even an issue. I just don't understand
why it would be an issue with ANYONE. What i REALLY don't understand is when people change their love or opinion about someone after learning they are gay. If you liked and respected them before, how the hell does their sexualality change your opinion? I guess that's what you call conditional love. And always, consider the source.
Thanks for sharing.
Subject: Mitch you share something else with Truman Capote.
Response Posted by: carin
Email:outasite
Date Posted: Sun Apr 20 17:18:42 1997
Message: You express yourself eloquently. It sounds as if you have paid a very high price for your creativity. Sad but true that it seems the most expressive people have had to endure and overcome hardship.
Subject: I knew I liked you Sillywim...:)
Response Posted by: Maria
Email:SanMateo,CA
Date Posted: Mon Apr 21 5:37:54 1997
Message: That post just confirmed it even more :)
Subject: To Mitch from Kelly O
Response Posted by: Kelly O
Email:NA
Date Posted: Mon Apr 21 10:56:51 1997
Message: I was really touched by your story. I've never personally suffered any kind of discrimination - I can't believe how gay men and women are treated in this supposedly "enlightened" age. I am 100% for benefits for gay partners - but I'll take it one step further. Any domestic partners, straight or gay, should be extended the same benefits as married persons. I don't know what criteria would prove a "commitment" - joint property would be a good start. But what if you can't afford a house or condo? Gay people love each other as much and as completely as straight. It's good to hear you're in a committed relationship. You sound like a really cool guy - hope your partner appreciates you!
Subject: You are not alone....
Response Posted by: LJSHW
Email:NA
Date Posted: Mon Apr 21 13:36:28 1997
Message: I am a straight, white, jewish, single(much to my dismay), female - 40 years old. I was raised in a family where if you decided to live an alternative lifestyle of any kind, the worst reaction anyone would come up with was "Oh? Please pass the bread..." I have an uncle who is 82 and just came out 2 years ago. Its not like we didn't have it all figured out - he's been living with the same man for 40 years in a 1 bedroom apartment for gods sake!! My uncle had a mother and a father who let him bring his boyfriends home when he was 18. Hey- he tried the hetero thing. Even got some girl pregnant! He never had a problem within the family. It was the people outside the family that hurt him, beat him, sabotaged his jobs. He was, and still is lucky to have the kind of support system he has and we wouldn't trade him - or his partner - for anything.
I, on the other hand have been accused of being a dyke by my sister-in-law because I am 40 and not married!!! Mitch - I wish you love and luck. Thank you for sharing your story.
Lisa
Subject: Gentlemen's Agreement
Response Posted by: basil
Email:xxxx
Date Posted: Mon Apr 21 13:41:36 1997
Message: You are right about homophobia and bigotry. It is still rampant though many people have become very clever about disguising their true feelings. Each of us needs to speak up when we face a situation where someone is using racial slur or making a homophobic comment. Many of us are appalled by the ignorance of others but that isn't enough. We need to speak up and let others know that those remarks will not be tolerated. When we say and do nothing, we become silent accomplices and help in perpetuating this behavior.
Subject: To Mitch
Response Posted by: Tina H
Email:$$
Date Posted: Mon Apr 21 18:30:32 1997
Message: I need to ask your advice on something that has been on my mind. A very good friend of mine is gay. I have known him for years and consider our friendship very special. He confided to a mutual friend of ours that he is gay. I want to know , is it proper for me to just tell him I know that he is gay? I wish he would tell me because I feel like I am missing out on a very important part of his life. I sure he knows that I have no problems whatsoever with anyone being gay, especially since I have told him about family members and other friends who have "come out". I don't know if he's nervous about my reaction or what? Please tell me from a gay man's point of view how I should handle it. I would think it would be a relief for him if I asked him about it.
Subject: The Best Way....
Response Posted by: Mitch
Email:pmitch01@msn.com
Date Posted: Mon Apr 21 21:23:12 1997
Message:
Would be if your mutual friend brought it up while you three are together.
The other, more direct approach would be if you just put your arm around him and say you know, that you love and support him.
You'll be suprised how easy it is once the ice is broken. Good Luck and let me know what happens.
P.S.
Of course my sister had a novel approach: she kept repeating, over and over, "I just loved the movie Victor/Victoria!"
ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!
Subject: to Mitch...
Response Posted by: Sousin
Email:na
Date Posted: Tue Apr 22 4:38:54 1997
Message: I'm just sitting here now with tears down my face and a lump in my throat.
Long ago in High School, a good friend confided in me that he was gay. It was so much a non issue for me that I never really told him how much I still loved him and that it didn't affect our relationship at all. After High school, he left for San Francisco and I lost track of him. It was only when I got older, less naive that I realized HOW MUCH he had risked to tell me that and how much more response he needed from me in our incredibly intolerant world. Now I just do my best to educate kids and support the gay friends I have now. But I have to live everyday with the regret of not being able to tell my friend how special he always was to me.
Sorry for going on so long...your message really touched me!
Subject: Before This Topic Disapears......
Response Posted by: Mitch
Email:pmitch01@msn.com
Date Posted: Tue Apr 22 12:14:09 1997
Message:
I wanted to thank everybody for their kind words of support. I'm definitely going to print out your responses and keep them as mementos of your kindness to me.
Again, thank you.
Posted by: The Judge Email:Any Court In America Date posted: Sun Apr 20 13:31:53 1997
Message:
I am 22 years old. Straight African American female, attending a liberal arts college.
Replies:
Judge, I thought you were in law school?
I Had A Feeling You Were A.M.
I'm Sorry, I meant A.A.
To Sillywim
Judge, Good for you girl. It's worth it.
Posted by: Juliette Email:ophelia@maxinet.com Date posted: Sun Apr 20 0:09:39 1997
Message: I'm a sink - single income, no kids - white female, 28.
Straight, although it's been so long since I had sex
that I may have to change my status to Asexual soon!
Where have all the cowboys gone? (love that song!)
Posted by: Bear Hunter Email:The Cave Date posted: Sat Apr 19 23:45:53 1997
Message: I'm gay, and I've lived with same man for over 8 years.
We also have House & 2 dogs (Candy & Pepper)
5 Gold fish
4 Canaries (Brooke, Adam, Brian & Hailey) [I swear!]
2 Guini Pigs (Snowy & Licorice)
Gosh . . . . . does this mean I'm OUT?
GRRRRR!
I love all the animal names.....
Why didn't you...
They did'nt look like any of the AM character. EOM.
Birds'names-Laughed out loud !
To Mitch...
I thought you were. Thanks for the honesty!
I have gay pride as well Bear pride.
Posted by: molly Email:winniferd@hotmail.com Date posted: Sat Apr 19 10:49:05 1997
Message: Straight female who has found too many Mr Wrongs ready to settle for
Mr Half Right...
Replies:
settle
dont want to settle - but believe me I am way too picky !
Maybe we should start a support group!
Good Golly Miss Molly! Don't Settle!
Thanks Bear ! I'll remember that....
Posted by: boobies Email:Hmmmmm Date posted: Sat Apr 19 2:06:54 1997
Message: I'm a straight young married white female, looking for a group of demented soap opera watchers. Must be able to talk about cheese, pickles, potatoEs, toilet paper and sex. Plusses are- ability to mock fictional characters, make up better stories than highly paid "professionals" and dance naked in the livingroom (optional, although I know most of you do it when it's
opportune.
Replies:
I think I'm falling in love with Boobies
Posted by: Mitch Email:pmitch01@msn.com Date posted: Sat Apr 19 1:07:11 1997
Message:
OK, here's a gay story you might like. This guy asks me out on a first date and takes me to this very nice club with a piano bar. There's about 100 people in the place and a few are singing -- Broadway show tunes of course. Evidently they knew my date and asked him to sing. And sing he did, in a voice I can only describe as baritone profundo.
All of a sudden, with a spot light on us, he takes my hand and starts singing "Would I Love You" from Carousel like he's serenading me. All I kept thinking was, "Please, dear God, don't let him start singing 'Maria' from West Side Story." I'd die and melt into a puddle right there, just like the Wicked Witch of the West.
Luckily he quit after that and got a huge ovation. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I decided against a second date.
Replies:
What a Great Story!!!!!
wow ! i was embarassed whyen one of my boyfriends sang
Mitch...just curious
Sillywim....
Mitch...
2SW....
Sillywim , loved Evita. Mitch, to coin a phrase--You Rock!
Well Said My Friend, Well Said. EOM
Mitch, I love your posts
Posted by: Leigh Email:Dallas Date posted: Sat Apr 19 0:43:38 1997
Message: Boy, I can tell this is gonna be a FUN board! I am straight and married with 4 beautiful daughters!
