For those that are offering their support and prayers,

For those that are offering their support and prayers, I will keep this updated on the ongoings of my effort to do battle with cancer. (use your browser update button on each visit to get the latest)

1/16/1999 Hey! I slept til almost 5a.m. I was really tired yesterday afternoon. I think I am better this morning, gonna have coffee and see what happens. At least I wasnt nauseated last night. More later..

1/15/1999 Dang......I was really ill most of the afternoon and evening. I got blood test results and they were not good. White count is high, indicitive of an infection, so I will be talking with my oncologist early today to start antibiotics. My guess is that it is a kidney infection. Eeeeeks, what a nasty day, freezeing rain all night in the mid 20's with too much ice. We don't know if we can even get out to the road this morning. It is susposed to warm a bit at daylight. Christina made it to work, I was worried about that. Spoke with the Cancer Center, and the blood count thing is due to the steriods, not to worry as it is a normal reaction.

1/14/1999 OK.......the live cam pic isn't exactly live this morning. It is a picture of a float in a German parade. A friend sent it to me and I just could not resist. I feel better this morning. Must of been the White Diamond perfume! Rita, thanks for bringing Christina home last evening, I was not in any shape to get her. Now what to do with all these plants.....Eeeeks! I have a bit of mail to catchup with today. I did get a phone message from the oldest daughter yesterday, she is going to call again today...? Dr. Steve, I got the list and am going through each one. Thank you so much.

1/13/1999 Goodmorning ! Slept most of the night, but feel really tired this morning. Still have the damn sweats. I did get a good soaker in the hot tub. It seems to help a bit. Marian from Tutwiler, please resend any email, I suspect the address maybe incorrect. Thanks cousin. Well, a really strange day. I have not felt good, not in the least. Then I really got a boost this evening! While the girls were visiting during the holidays, I ask Vanessa to try and find our old phone book when she got back home. She did and mailed it to me. I had been trying to find the family that sharecropped my Grandparents farm in Mississippi during the war years and the 1950's. Jackpot! I got an answer on the first phone call and was told I'd been praying to hear from you! I will add more about this later. Its after midnight, I seem a bit better.

1/12/1999 Jeeees, I slept til 3am. I think I am getting better. The last two days, it was all I could do just to type a few words. I started taking Phenegeran for neausea yesterday. It seems to help a little. The sweats are on the decline, I still feel really tired however. Today is a new day, we'll see how it goes. Got to be better. Hey how bout the Washington Redskins being sold! 800 Million.....? Jimminie Crickets. Well, its 3pm I went out and checked on the cows. I seem to have slumped back a little bit, I figure this is to be expected. We'll see how the rest of the day goes. Going to catch a nap.

1/11/1999 Rough.....Ekkkks I didnt know how bad I could feel. If this is general malise.....? More later. I have had the sweats, Christina says it is like someone dumped a 5 gallon bucket of water on me. I am feeling better right now. I sure hope it will taper some now. Seems that the more I sleep, the more I sweat. May try to stay awake more......go figure.....giggles. Almost 3pm. BJ! thanks. Trying to eat hardboiled eggs. Not bad, but the shells are hard to chew!

1/10/1999 Dang I feel rough! I think the chemo is kicking in. I was in bed at 6 last evening. And have tossed and turned since. I would like to take some advil, but I am not susposed to take anything that could possibly mask or otherwise interfer with the chemo. It is a bit after 2am now. I guess that is not as bad as it sounds, I have slept for 8 hours. I drained and filled the hot tub yesterday, that is the one thing I absolutely will not listen about.....gotta have my soakers! I will just monitor the clorine more often. I am going to try and sleep again. Wow, slept til 6am. Marge, will try and find the pic, and get it to ya. Also have some to send from the reunion. Got a good one of Jim washing dishes or something.

1/9/1999 Congratulations Patti and Alex! Braden Alexander.........8lbs. 8oz....Wow! I am still having the can't sleep thing. I think it has a lot to do with the chemo. We ended up with about 3 inchs of snow here, it is pretty. I did get to do some technical reading on DTIC (dacarbazine), nasty drug, I was surprised at the short half life....35 minutes. It is renally (sp) cleared at 5 hours. I feel really tired this morning, but will get to rest most of the weekend. BTW I refuse to spell check! shame. More later....niters. Tolly and Linda we will be saying our prayers.

1/8/1999 Should not of had the coffee. I tossed and turned all night. No problems from the chemo cocktail. Hey and gosh Judy B and Otis signed our guest book! Thems a couple of my ex work buddies, they kewl folks. I go today for the last in this series of chemo, then another series starts on the 27th. I am ready for this break. Otherwise, all quiet here. Time to start waking the house and getting us off to our assigned places....giggles, what a way to say get your a@@ up and out the door! I have started to notice some mood changes coming off the steriods (for brain swelling) it is a three week program to coincide with the end result of radiation treatment. I left here for Charlottesville, at 10am for a 1 pm appointment. The snow was coming down, really pretty, but slick. I had to wait on toxology, blood and liver function test. My white count was up...I expected it might be. Finally got home at around 6:30pm. Made for a long day and I pretty much just crashed after dinner. Other than blood work every few days, I am off treatment til the 27th.

1/7/1999 What am I doing up? Gads, my clock is off. (02:30) Still doing ok with the chemo, I dont feel normal, but not "sick" as I suspected. Have gotten a couple really nice emails today, thank you. I do my Social Security Disability interview this morning and then go for the second chemo this afternoon. I ate really good last evening, that was a surprise, especially to keep it down. gone back to bed, more later. Wow! Kurt and Theresa, great to hear from you. Did the phone interview with Social Security this morning, went well and stopped off at the SS office in Charlottesville to sign the med release forms and show off the Birth Certificate. What a coincidence, the lady that did my interview just had a melanoma removed! I gave her an earful of advice. Ellen again did the chemo cocktail for me and she and I and Christina got to have another nice long visit. Got to find her (Ellen) a kewl dude somewhere. We stopped and ate dinner on the way home. I had a great big thick rare steak. I just hope the luck holds with the chemo not bothering me. Everyone keeps telling me how wicked DTIC can be. I am headed for the coffee pot now. And then niters.

1/6/1999 Slept decent last night....made it til 4a.m. I wanted to get up early as there is research for me to do before seeing the doc today. Today marks the end of radiation treatment, (10th) and the start of chemo. I am still confused about the sudden change in the choice of chemo from TEMODAL to DTIC. Christina is taking me today as I don't know what kind of response I will have. She also wants to hear the docs explaination of the change. I feel good this morning. Last evening was a bit rough. My original doc called yesterday, and she was real upbeat about my treatment, we also talked about the chemo. She is not an oncologist but is up on whats new. Hi cousin Sharon! Thanks for the email! Gees, -3 this morning. The car started, three cheers for gasline de-icer. Gads, we are finally back home 6:30 this morning til after 4:00....it was a long day! Blood test, toxicoligy test. Liver function...etc. Then wait for the pharmacy to mix the concoction. The kewlest part is that Christina and I know the lady that did the infusion......thanks Ellen! She and Christina really have a past!!! I will leave that alone.....giggles. I go Thursday and Friday for more chemo and then get a break for a couple weeks. Vanessa, no on the MRI, (I cant have MRI as I have a BB under my eye.) I will get another CAT scan later in the month to monitor the brain tumors. My BP and temp went up and down with the chemo, I was constantly monitored and really felt ok during the proceedure. I probably am not going to be able to drive for a few days due to the nausea meds I am on.

1/5/99 Shawna! thanks for calling. What a hoot! Of all things. (laughs are where ya find em) I woke up sick to the stomach this morning.(00:30) Probably nerves.....I am really nervous about seeing or talking with the doc today. Christina has discovered the live cam is good for checking on me while she is at work. I have added a private url just for her to look in on me......giggles Go Chrissy! I also wanted to mention that a special person in my life sent me a book.......I have read it, discussed it with my doc and for the time being am waiting for drug interaction information. I do believe in these powers, so thank you. Gosh here it is almost 5 a.m. Up and having coffee. I have a 9a.m. appointment. Time starts to fly around 6 here....well damn it seems like it flys. I will try and post a pic today with my new look......I think it is gonna be ok! And then, its 2 below and none of the damn cars will start! I finally ended up having to use Christina's mom's car....phew we made it on time. I am back home at 11am after doing some shopping. Got Eggs! Now I am sitting on pins and needles waiting for the doc to call me back.....nervous! Ya aint seen me nervous, not like this. I really need to get my car going, but dont want to be away from the phone. Well, I got my phone call, not what I wanted to hear. However, I will go with my doc! I start DTIC chemo tomorrow. (Dacarbazine) The doc wants to wait on Temodal in case this recurrs. Now I take a nap.

1/4/1999 Gads, up at 3am......Sipping pepsi for the throat. I go for treatment early, hope the fog has lifted. My final radiation treatment is Wednesday, by then I hope for the approval to take TEMODAL. I finally got some streaming video to capture on the puter yesterday, need to get the bugs out now and should have it going this week....I hope. Well, back to sleep for another hour. Fairly uneventful trip today. Talked with the doc about the chemo treatment. Did some shopping in Charlottesville. I really didnt feel like it but decided to push a bit. Home and napping again. I did put up a corkboard by the computer. I was going nuts with post it notes. Also installed a couple old, and I do mean old......stereo speakers on the deck. These speakers are in metal enclosures. They "JAM" the whole deck vibrates. Jones will like them. I spoke with a few friends today, Karen, Carl and Jeff. Carl is my techno advisor on hot tubs. Oh and I have a 4:30 appointment for a haircut.....that time has come. Picked Christina up a work, I had not warned her about the haircut. My friend Donna cut it....not shaved, but damn close. And then they decided i should wear a large hoop ear ring. I look like a skinny Mr Clean! Still no damn eggs in any of the grocery stores.

1/3/1999 Repotted a couple of our larger indoor plants. Caught up on my email. We just kinda wasted the day. Sat around and ate snacks all day. Burgers for dinner. Gonna soak in the hot tub later. We had one of our friends drop in a bit ago, I suspect she will probably tub with us.....should be fun, with the snow forcast. Kind of a weird weather day today. The weekend is bout gone.

1/2/1999 Funny how things happen. I had picked something out of the storage trailer, I had planned to use after the holidays. Well, I just went over to get it and low and behold it is not there. I know who was there......sure tends to make ya reconsider just who's real and who is not. Christina, I just didnt listen well did I? Still have the sore throat, I suspect that is going to last for a while. Oh well, I just wont talk so damn much. We have winter storm watch/warning for later in the day. Christina has promised to take me shopping today. I made a couple New Year phone calls yesterday. I have a dear friend that I went steady with in High School and maybe not every year, but most we talk a bit. Her name is Candy. She finally married a great guy and is very happy. Jim I am sure will treat her well. I guess that was the highlight of the day. Did have some problems sleeping, took a little something to relax and then it was off to sheep counting.

1/1/1999 Ok I did it! past the first hurdle of the New Year, got the date correct.....ROTFL. A quiet celebration here, I fell asleep around 9pm and woke just after the bewitching hour. Had a nice day yesterday. The drive to Charlottesville was snowy and quiet. I really enjoy driving during snow events. Seems to reduce the road noise. And it is pretty. Stopped at Ariels and had toast with her and a short talk. My daughters had left for home by the time I got back, so Jones (Christina's son) and I fixed the rotor wires to the TV antenna and installed a security cam on the rotor mast. Now we can pan all around the farm. I think he is going to be a high tech junky like me. I trust all of you had a safe and sane celebration. I dont go to treatment til Monday, so just gonna chill til then. 3:!0 PM, I have really started to realize one of the effects of the radiation treatment....I have a sore throat. I am following the advice in one of the therepy handbooks. No big deal, just wanted to note this.

12/31/98 Wow New Years Eve! Well, yesterday was different, I did not start chemo as planned. Got the radiation treatment, and went upstairs for the infusion. The doc wants to see you! Oh Oh....what now. Surprise, he wants to try something realatively new on me. A drug called TEMODAL. He is checking to get permission to use it on me...God bless him. I have been blessed with the most wonderful professionals! If you would like to read about this drug, this is the URL. http://www.sch-plough.com/news/research/1998/9-15-98.html From what I have read so far it maybe available in the US and if not possibly in the UK......It sounds promising, we will see. I should have an answer by the 5th of January...pray for the permission. Other GREAT news from yesterday is that my missing daughter has been located and is OK! This has lifted a great burden...more later, got to get going.

12/30/98 Gosh, what a fun time we had last evening. Was so nice to have a house full of friends and family. I go for the sixth radiation treatment today and for the first chemo.....I am very anxious, nervous, etc. Vanessa is going to go with me today as I dont know how the chemo will effect me. If I am too sick afterwards, I will crash at our friend Ariel's in Charlottesville. Thanks Ariel! I spent a good part of yesterday fixing Christina's moms car. The heater was not working and we had taken it to a couple of repair shop to no avail...I put a heater control valve in it and that did not help so did the simple thing....flush the system....do the simple things first!!! It's a Florida car and I doubt the heater has ever been used...giggles, poops and grins it will toast ya now. Gonna try and get an early start, as it is freezing rain this morning.

12/29/98 Gads up at 4am. I have to leave at 6 to attend an 8am appointment. I have ask the girls to schedule me earlier, so I can get home and do things on the farm. I really pooped out last evening, I dont know if I was just tired or had too much eggnog. Have gotten some of the neatest emails from people I dont know.......thank you all. I still have a headache from yesterday. Have had several comments about my attitude with this disease. Yes, I am sick, yes I wish it hadnt happened to me. But......things could be worse. Just look around, at your own situations and those of others. I see people each day that are far worse off than I. One comment I received from a very close friend....."I think I would just go ahead and kill myself" this was not meant in a derogatory manor either....I told this person.....ya know, when I lost my job and ended up divorced in the same month, I took my pistol and a bottle and sat in the woods.....and soul searched for several hours. Obviously I found the right answers. I still have my best friend to take care of and there are a lot of things left that I can accomplish to improve things for other people. Sometimes it only takes a little smile to brighten someones day.........and I gotta hell of a lot of smiles left in me! I really noticed the smile thing while visiting at the Social Services office in Orange .......... smiles are contageous(sp) Where did I put Mr Webster?

12/28/98 Nice day starting. A bit warmer than yesterday. My daughter Vanessa is going with me for the treatment today. This will be the forth radiation treatment. I am still feeling good. May stop and look for some "hair" today....giggles, I have long hair and dont want to be a baldy quite yet. Had the treatment, and met a new doc....Dr Constable. He is quite a likeable character. I think he and I are going to end up as friends. I must say again, I feel really good today. Got to get dinner on, seems that it is my turn. Fresh green beans and corn from the garden and a boston butt in the pressure cooker.

12/27/98 We did not get to Northern Virginia yesterday....stuff happens. Sorry Terry and Ruthie. The kids arrived rather late last night. What a crew! It is so nice to see them. No plans for today. We will just visit. And physc myself for the treatment Monday.

12/26/98 Gads I ate tooo much yesterday. Headed to Vienna Va today for an openhouse at Terry and Ruthies. Terry promises guest weirder than thou... race car folks, state dept folks, free spirits and this crew. Should make for an interesting pm. It is always fun to be with a diverse group....giggles. The gang from Florida should be here by the time we get home. Frankie is going to be the farm watcher today. I feel real good today, but have noticed I get frustrated rather easily and am having a bit of a coordination problem with the keyboard.

12/25/98 Merry Christmas ! I wake this morning with a "bit of a hangover". I think this is good. I had fun last evening, good friends, good spirits, etc. and a really long soak in the hot tub. Gee I hope santa didn't see me. I actually stayed up until 3am........I am usually ready for bed by 7pm. Up and doing stuff. Soaked in the hot tub for about an hour this morning.....this seems to be one of my mosted treasured forms of relaxation........great. Showered, went down to Christina's moms to pick up a couple things. Frankie was there, so I took the oppurtunity...........How bout going for a ride for a bit....OK! So I took him to his dad's grave and we each had a shot and left a shot on the stone........Weird, not really! I thought it to be very touching. Had Christmas dinner with Grama here. Actually ate two huge plates. Found out that my girls are driving up from Florida on Saturday. Also bringing the grandaughter, Allison. Small wonders never seem to cease.

12/24/98 Gosh, hard to believe Christmas Eve is here........Christina and I are off to UVA early, the roads are very icy as we has sleet overnight. I have an 8 am appointment. Will try to get a pic of me in the accelerator. I feel good this morning, dont know why but sure is nice. This will be the third Zapp session. I had a slight headache from yesterdays and expect more of that. Got the treatment, stopped and had a western omlet on the way home. Starting snowing just east of Charlottesville and made for a special drive home. I really enjoyed the drive. A bit of a headache today, but better. Have the hot tub on for a special treat this evening. And we are off to do a bit of christmas shopping. I did get Christina a live indoor Norfork Pine that will be the Christmas tree for many years to come. We decorated it with Christmas cards and a couple bottles of our favorite spirits. I don't go for another treatment until the 28th. I still feel really good this evening. The pic didn't take, so Christina is going to take the next ones. The techs are willing to let her in to do that. Just had a really pleasant surprise, Mr. Courtney called to wish us well and Merry Christmas..Tks Alan! Nice to be in your thoughts.

12/23/98 Off to UVA at Charlottesville for the second Zapp! Still smiling. Found another systemic tumor this morning while shaving, almost got it with the razor. I will try and reduce the size of any future pictures that I post, just didnt have the energy yesterday. Talked with Shawna last evening for a bit. Ah back from the treatment, had a light lunch with my friend Ariel in Charlottesville....thanks lady! Again tomorrow and then off tx til the 28th. Actually getting ready to go out and pick up a Christmas present. Got to talk with Vanessa this morning, she is checking with her oncologist friend for any ideas that he may have. Thanks Lester! Thanks to Unionville Christian and Bethlehem Methodist for your prayers.

12/22/98 Today I start radiation therapy for the 7-9 tumors in the brain. I am nervous as shit, have taken valium to get the edge off. This will go on for 10 days, excluding a couple days off for the "season". Am also going in early to talk with Dr. Grosh......to get the answers....without beating around the "bush". Like should I start chemo sooner than scheduled? Well I got the answers......Is this disease going to kill me? Yes! no treatment, less than 3 months. Go for the brain tumors first, and then towards the end of the radiology treatment we start chemo for the systemic tumors. Then re-evaluate the brain tumors around the end of January......and go from there. That is where/when the choices of chemo/bio/vaccine become critical. Hey check out the smile! I got the first radiation treatment, really weird laying in a linear accelerator........getting Zapped!

12/21/98 Today I got the final consult on the extent of the malignant melanoma, not good, it has spread to the brain. This is the worst scenario from what I understand. I believe what I heard today is that I may expect to be around from 6 to 12 months........scarey!

Dec 18/98 I have the results from most of the test. Bone scan is good, Blood testing is great! Liver function is good. I know the body CAT scan is not....heck, I can see the tumors. Just waiting for the head scan. Bumps......eeeeeks, there are more damn bumbs on my torso than I can count. I know this is not good. They seem to just pop up at random. I was told this is an aggressive cancer.........I cant believe just how aggressive.

Dec 14/98 I have my first visit with Dr Grosh at UVA. He does the usual poking and proding, ask many questions and schedules me for a CAT scan, a Bone scan and an MRI of my head. We ended up having to do a CAT scan on the head as I have a small BB just below my eye and it could cause damage during an MRI.

Dec 7 98 A quick visit to see Dr Bargman and Reid in Orange, they do a biopsy and we discuss my previous hx of melanoma. I can read people ....... I didnt like what I read. They schedule an appointment with an oncologist at UVA.

December 1 98 Geees, suddenly more bumps.....maybe 20 or so.......I am going to the doctor. I havent felt good almost like I have the flu. And I seem to get tired easily, not like me.

October 15 98 I noticed a small bump below the skin on by collar bone. Must of bumped myself and it is a hematoma. Ok. If this doesn't clear up by the end of the month, I will check with the doc. I got busy and forgot about it.

September 98 I noticed the lymph node under my right arm was tender and swollen........also had a sore throat. Hum must be infected from the sore throat. I will watch it as I am well aware of these signs and symptoms.

October 95 I have a mole on my chest that is probably a melanoma. I make an appointment with a local MD to have it removed. All done, biopsy is a class 4 melanoma. Contained in the sample and no follow up treatment recommended. Just watch yourself.....OK.