While searching on the internet,
A rude awakening I did get,
I came across a bunch of folks,
Chatting there and telling jokes.

A bunch of ladies chatting there,
Agnes, Betty, Angie, Clare.
One phrase came up and caught me napping,
Someone mentioned they were zapping.

I wondered, "What can be this task?"
And then decided I would ask.
My knowledge really had a gap,
And so I asked if I could zap.

"Are you TS?" someone replied,
"What are you doing here?" one cried.
"Are you TV?" another said,
(By now I wished that I was dead.)

I should have stayed with one hand clapping,
Instead of asking here of zapping.
And so between the jigs and reels,
I learned these men wore hose and heels.

They were transgendered every one.
Each and every mother's son.
Some TS and some TV,
And this was all explained to me.

I must admit I liked the thought,
(Although I couldn't once get caught)
Of dressing up in ladies clothes,
Of wearing slips and heels and hose.

My curiosity  was fanned,
I thought I'd try to understand.
A sudden thought upon me hit,
I wondered would my wife's clothes fit.

So, to the wardrobe I did go,
To see the dresses row on row,
I chose a dress of silk and lace,
And put some makeup on my face.

A slip, a girdle, stockings too,
Clip on earrings had to do.
I found it hard to realise,
That everything was just my size.

So, now I walked in this attire,
Up to the mirror to admire,
And I could only stand and stare,
A gorgeous girl was standing there.

She looked at me as if to say,
"At last, at last, I have my day.
You've kept me waiting far too long,
To keep me hidden now is wrong.

While chatting on the internet,
A rude awakening I did get,
A guy came on and asked of me,
"Can you explain, what is TV?"

And I said," Betty, Angie, Clare,
We have a right one, I declare.
Will one of you to him explain?"
And they replied, "YOU tell him Jane." 

Janey Lang
April 1996.