don't forget to mail me :-)On 04-03-03 we went to our midwife appointment that morning, and listened to Xavier's heartbeat, she felt my belly, regular pre-natal stuff. We all agreed jokingly that, that night was good for all of us. Michael went off to work around 2pm, telling the belly, okay, you can come now.
Around 5pm, I started having some contractions, my body had already done so many false alarms, that I didn't get my hopes up at all. They seemed fairly regular, probably about every 20 to 30 mins, I'm not exactly sure because I didn't bother timing. I went for a walk, noticed that the contractions were stronger. I had heard labor takes a long time, so I figured I would get some things done. I tried to send out some emails, and make myself some food, but by then the contractions were already coming so fast. The contractions kept getting faster, and harder, so I called Michael's work, and gave the manager (at the time he worked in the kitchen of a busy restaurant) the head's up that he may have to come home as it seemed that I was labor, I told her that I was going to relax, and wait as long as possible. That was around 7:30 pm, by 8:30pm I couldn't wait any longer. I called the restaurant back; I was a little freaked out at this point, and felt panicked. The contractions were coming so hard, and so fast.... I thought I would have more time to rest in between. By the time Michael got home at 8:40, my contractions were 1.5 min apart, and 1 min long. The midwife was called, and rushed over, she checked me and I was already 8cm dilated. It only took like 3 hrs to get there. She started throwing stuff around to get the area ready; because things seemed to be moving so incredibly fast. At 10:30 I was 10cm dilated, by 11pm I started pushing, and had a good pushing rhythm by 11:30pm. So, I pushed, and I pushed, and I pushed, in a squat, on hands and knees, in the shower, on the toilet, in the bed, in the classic position........
And I pushed some more.
Two hours later, we had made little progress. The Baby would not come down. We decided to push another hour, but I was really starting to get tired, and really wanted Xavier to come out, and I desperately wanted him to have a homebirth. His fetal heart tones were good the whole time, so we continued to try to get him to descend.
Finally, at 3:15am, we decided that we should transfer to the hospital, I was exhausted, and my midwife didn't want to run the risk of losing the good fetal heart tones. Xavier just wouldn't come down the birth canal at all, the station remained the same.
So off to the hospital we went........ Unfortunately down here the home birth situation is very iffy. We were forced to make up a story so as not to jeopardize our midwife’s licensure. And she was also not able to accompany us to the delivery room. Which made me feel rather abandoned. The hospital staff was suspicious of our story that went something like: we had intended on having a doula, and to labor at home as long as possible, but that unfortunately the doula was off island, so we went at it alone. That my water had broke, and it had just taken us two hours after that to get out of the house......
Since I was in the middle of my pushing phase, I obviously had to push so bad! Every cell in my body was screaming to push with each contraction, but the nurses wouldn't let me, as they were trying to get an IV in, which they repeatedly failed at. I was screaming profanities at them about not letting me push, and having to do Lamaze style breathing to try to maintain, and not push. I have to say this was one of the worst feelings in my life!
After about an hour they finally gave up on the IV, and wheeled me into a Delivery room. This is when the horrors begin. So I begin pushing again, after about an hour of having held back the urge. I was so happy to be allowed to push again! Hurray!! So I began to push, I was forced to lie in a supine position on the table, which did not allow me to use gravity to help bring the baby down. I tell them, “I don't want an episiotomy, I have a birth plan... did you get my birth plan?” The *midwife* on duty says, “Don't worry we don't like sewing them up, we won't give you one unless you need it.”
A few minutes later, she is snipping away at me. The doctor on duty is called, as the Baby still will not descend, so they snip some more. Xavier just wouldn't come down......... next resort, a (at least 200 pound) nurse climbs up on the table, and jumps on me each time I push, pushing down on my belly with all her might. It was horrific!!!! Apparently it’s called fundal pressure and is not all that uncommon, but in my opinion still quite brutal! That is what it took though, and finally at 5:02am, after 4.5 hours of pushing....... Xavier was born.
The doctor didn't let Michael cut the cord, they didn't put Xavier on my chest...... he was perfect too, his heart tones had been good the whole time, his apgar scores were high, and he was not in distress......
Then the doctor starts tugging on my cord, trying to pull my placenta out, and I asked her please if I could just deliver it, instead of her pulling it out.... she says to me, "At this point, what does it really matter?" Yeah, really, I mean I'm cut, and nothing is like I wanted.... The doctor left, and the nurse said fine then push it out, so I was allowed to deliver the placenta myself. She then started to sew up my episiotomy. They wouldn't let me hold Xavier though. One of the nurses started to give him to me, but the midwife sewing me up snapped at her not to give me the baby yet! I got to hold him for like 2 minutes and then they took him away. They kept him for 4 hours before I got to see him again. It felt like an eternity!!
I was so happy once he finally made it to me, and I didn’t let him out of my sight after that! Unfortunately my experience at the hospital just confirmed my not wanting to have a baby there! Of course our hospital often leaves much to be desired in general! That’s Xavier’s Birth Story. I am glad I didn’t have to have a C-section. Had we been honest with the hospital about having been pushing for two hours at home already they probably would have automatically done one though.
I guess his presentation was just a little off, perhaps he was just a little more forehead presenting, rather than the top of the head. Also since then have had a Chiropractor tell me that my hips are a little off, maybe a contributing factor? Or perhaps just cause he was my first and my hipbones hadn’t parted enough yet? I don’t know. I just really hope the next time is easier!!
don't forget to mail me :-)