In September 1996 I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. A type of Cancer. I was 21 years old at the time, and I had been feeling weak, and run down for quite some time..................... but I didn't really think anything of it. I just figured I wasn't eating well, or that I wasn't getting enough sleep.

A nurse practitioner at Planned Parenthood pointed out an abnormality in my collarbone area. Upon closer inspection I realized I had a lump on the side of my neck,in that indention by your collarbone. I had begun to feel steadily worse, and started have chest pains on a regular basis. Finally I had Michael (my boyfriend) take me to the emergency room. They took some blood, and some x-rays, and then started to ask me questions:

Have you had any unexplained weight loss?
Have you had a loss of appetite?
Do you have Night sweats?
Have you been constantly running a low grade fever?
Do you feel weak or tired?
Are you having any unexplained pain?

I answered "YES" to all of the questions.............. it wasn't until right then that I became aware that I had all these symptoms, and that they were just that!! SYMPTOMS! They admitted me to the Hospital, and assigned a specialist right then and there. I was so confused, it all hapened so fast. The emergency room Doctor said, "You have Hodgkin's Lymphoma" I didn't even know what it was, but I just started crying.....it sounded so scary. They wheeled me up to the seventh floor, the oncology floor. I knew I had heard that term before, but it wasn't until the next day that I realized I was in the Cancer Ward. I tried to convince my boyfriend to just take me home, I just wanted to go home, maybe pretend it never happened ha ha. So, was the beginning of an awful real life Nightmare!

Fortunately Hodgkin's Lymphoma is one of the most curable types of Lymphoma. I was assured that everything would be okay. I was in Stage IIB when I was diagnosed, so we caught it kind of early. I had no medical insurance, and no resources at the time of my diagnosis. I applied for assistance from the Government. But of course they were no help! Grrrrrrrr don't get me started on that!! One of my hugest pet peeves, people who REALLY need assistance can't get it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had to take 8 months of Chemotherapy, and 6 weeks of Radiation treatments. It was Awful!!! I cannot express to you just how much Chemotherapy SUXS! I was so weak, and so nauseous. Just about the time I'd start to feel a little better it was time to go in for another treatment. It was disgusting!! I insisted on staying in Dental Assiting school, I just kept feeling like..Geez I really don't have time for this! It was very difficult to drag myself in to class on many days! The effects of chemotherapy were so hardcore, stumbling out of the hospital after my treatments, I just felt like a huge walking chemical! I was given very high doses, nurses would wander by, look at my many bags of chemo, and then shake their heads sadly in my direction. My hair fell out by the handfuls, everywhere I looked in our small apartment, there was some of my hair. It started to look really strange with large bald spots everywhere, I finally got Michael to shave my head for me. I was so skinny, and sickly..........."Heroin Chic" I like to call it *grin*. Check out the pics Radiation treatment was not quite as bad, I was so relieved not to be nauseous anymore!! But Radiation treatment had disadvantages of it's own. My throat was so sore from the sunburn that radiation gives you. Even drinking liquids was extremely painful! My skin also became quite sunburned, and my underarms (I was forbidden to wear underarm deoderant) became blistered, and dreadfully irritated. I walked around with my arms extended all the time LOL. My dental assistant training required that I perform an externship. I tried to work full time while undergoing radiation, I couldn't do it though. Fortunately, we made an arrangement, and I was able to work half day. My treatments caused me to be very fatigued. Even half a day was almost killing me!

Battling Hodgkin's was definitely a trying experience! I had a bit of the "why me" syndrome, plus growing anxiety due to the massive amount of medical bills piling over my head!! I was angry that I was so weak, and feeble. I found that it was sometimes very hard to maintain a positive attitude. I couldn't have made it through without the help of my family, my mother flew up to Texas (from the Virgin Islands) to help me with the everday little things I could no longer do. She drove me to all my Dr.'s appointments, to and from class, prepared meals, and tended to a lot of my housekeeping. Michael, my wonderful Boyfriend, he was so strong, and supportive through everything. I could tell he was scared for me. He sat in the bathroom with me holding my sprigs of hair as I heaved over the toilet for hours on end, trying so hard to do whatever he could to make things easier for me. Michael took such good care of me, and continued to love me even while I was bald, sick as a dog, and poor company!! :-)

I am in remission now, and so glad to be alive! I have been in remission for almost two years, and I am just now starting to feel human again. My hair has grown back, although it grew back with a completely different color and texture than before............... I am so happy to have a full head of my own hair! I laughingly tell my old friends (who were used to me as a blonde)that it is great to have a new hairstyle but what a tough way to get it!

Living Through this has made me value life so much more! Having Cancer is definitely an experience that has taught me to enjoy the simple pleasures of life! I try not to take anything for granted, and to live each and every day to it's fullest!!!!!

Caner Update:

I have now been in remission for almost 4 years.... I will be headed up to Texas for my Annual check-up in May. A yearly reminder of what I have been through. I have been feeling great,and I am sure my check-up will have positive results *smile*

Cancer Update:

Still in remission! All is well. As a matter of fact, I am 8 months pregnant, and no complications. I am thankful for every year of remission, and I am glad to say that for the most part my experience with Hodgkin's is mostly just a distant memory. (If you want to know more about my pregnancy click on that link on the home page)



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