I will try to write about my T*-experiences here. Maybe someone reads it and learns something or just feels that he/she is not alone and that other people feel and experience the same.

Early 90's
1995
1996
Spring 1997
Summer 1997
August 1997
September 1997
October 1997

Early 90's	My first excursions dressed up
	Always late at night, sometimes on a bicycle, sometimes on foot. Everytime it was totally exhilerating and fearsome at the same time.
Autumn 95	First time I went out en femme
	A nice female friend of us (into sm and fetish) had a party, where all guests where dressed in Latex, Leather etc. I said to myself "That's a good opportunity to mingle with people dressed up". So me and my wife went there, both of us wearing black. I wore Makeup, silver jewelry, a black flowing skirt, a black long sleeved bodysuit and a black Cardigan. At that time i already had my hair as long as now and i wore it open that evening, instead of my normal ponytail. All in all it was a success. I even got some compliments! :-)
Winter 95	Second time I went out en femme
	Like the first time I went to an sm/fetish party. Again I wore black and silver: a simple longsleeved black dress with a full skirt. This time I wore some padding in a bra and a corsage under the dress so I had a nice shape.
Winter 96	No Limits
	After a year (well... sometimes I take the dog for a walk at night dressed up) my first time out en femme. A friend of mine had startet a monthly sm/fetish event called "carpe noctem" in his bar "No Limits". I had designed the leaflet's for the this and he had "paid" me with free entry. Because it was winter and I was not in the mood for black, i donned something rustic :-) A brown woolen wrap-around skirt, flat laceboots, a black long sleeved bodysuit (with bra and falsies below), and above it a green blouse which i wore open. And naturally Makeup and silver jewelry.
May 97	"First Time"
	I did it and realized my fantasy of having sex with another man. I had met a nice trannie ( :-) I won't tell you her name) who also wanted to try it and we had wonderful sex together. Well... now I know that I am truely bisexual.
July 97	SHG
	I had just met SanDee on IRC and she had told me about the Transidentitas SHG (sorry, don't know what a Selbsthilfegruppe is called in english... its a group where people with the same problem meet to share their thoughts etc. with each other) here in cologne. One friday i decided to have look, but I didn't wanted to go there dressed up (Actually i wasn't even shaven ;-)). Arriving at the Stollwerk I spotted someone I knew from SMart (did i mention I am a bit into sm? :)). Driving there I had been nervous, so it was nice seeing someone u know and like at that place. As i met her the first time, i had asked myself "Could that be a TS?" but I decided on "No". So I was a little bit surprised meeting her. She said to me "Know what? I thought u would come someday here". I just grinned. Soon after that the group started serious talking about "Who am I". Well... this seriousnes must be part of there german soul :-) After the discussion all of us went into the Stollwerk cafeteria and chatted the rest of the evening. In the course of the evening SanDee arrived and we had a nice talk.
13-07-97	First time out in broad daylight
	I had heard from SanDee and others trannies, that some people were organizing a "Trannie-Ball". I decided to go there. The main problem was, that I had to drive to the Atomage in Mönchengladbach at around Six o'clock in the evening, meaning being out en femme in broad daylight! I started getting ready at 4 o'clock... showering, dressing, painting my nails, applying my make-up. I looked rather sexy... black sling pumps, black flowing wide pants, a white sleevless bodysuit below a white transparent blouse. A bra with some padding gave me a nice and realistic looking decolletage. At around six o'clock I was ready to go... but couldn't bring myself to leave my flat. I gathered all my courage, opened the door... and someone was waiting in the staircase! I immediatly returned into my flat, thinking "oh my god!". Well five minutes later the woman left the house and I thought "no or never!" and left my flat, went out of the house, across the street to my car and got in. "Well that wasn't to bad" I thought and drove through cologne, onto the highway and then to Mönchengladbach. There I met a lot of the people from #trannie.de and all in all it was a nice evening. But the most important experience was going out at daytime and nothing bad happening.
02-08-97	(No Limits 2) ... any time now ;-)
15-08-97	A nice summer evening
	Ornella had asked me, if I would like to go another time to the Transidentitas SHG and I said "Sure". So she and her girlfriend Manuela arrived around eight o'clock in the evening. Ornella already mostly (no makeup... I wouldn't dare that :-)) en femme. Right at the moment I opened the door to let them in, the neighbours opened theirs to and... well I don't know what they saw. At least they didn't say anything so far. I had decided on something moderate to wear: flat shoes, a black jeans (for women, showing my butt rather nicely), a black t-shirt (with a nice female cut, kind of moderate a-line; shows the bit of cleavage i have rather nicely). The outfit was complemented by eyeliner, my long flowing hair, perfume and just a silver bracelet and ring. After Ornella were ready, we got out and drove to the "Stollwerk". Arriving there we didn't find a place to park the car and we had to walk some 500 m to get there. The nice thing was, I seemed to pass without problems as a female: nobody looked at me twice, and believe me, I didn't look male. Arriving there we found a rather large party going on there... well after the walk I had no inhibitions going in there. We met Jacy and other nice TG-people and went back to the car with Jacy around eleven o'clock. Later we went right into the inner city to get something to eat (actually we didn't :-), but thats not the point) and it just felt right (and cool too) being out en femme.
26-08-97	Meeting Nicole
	Today I met Nicole (she's from cologne like me). We had agreed to met at nine o'clock in her flat. Feeling more androgyn then femme I choose much the same outfit like last time, but with a new pair of shoes, my new jeans vest (female) and only some eyeliner and a little bit of eyeshadow. After finding a place to park (in front of the building, lucky me) I had to gather a little bit of courage and then I went in. To my relief Nicole was as likable in real life as on IRC and cute person too. The whole evening (and half of the night :)) we did hang out on her balcony, sipping beer and having an interesting conversation.
06-09-97	Unlimited Trannies
	Last time I had seen Ornella and Manuela, I had told them about the No Limits and Carpe Noctem, and they were both very interested. But on friday Ornella said to me on IRC, that she didn't want to come so i thought "well... who would like to go there... Nicole?" So I asked Nicole and she did say "YES!". This time I decided on wearing black: My black slingpumps, a long slim black skirt (I had promised Nicole to wear a skirt, next time we met :-)), a black bodysuit and a black PVC-Vest. As always hair open and silver jewelry. My nails were painted with a new nailpolish ("Velvet Star" from Jade) which I had bought this morning, a deep violet metallic colour going nicely with the black and silver. All complemented by a makeup featuring black kajal and a dark red-brown lipcolor. Because Nicole didn't know exactly when she would come to me, I was ready one hour before Nicole came. When she came (in her male guise :)) she did like my outfit immediatly. And she said to me that she had met Ornella and said she would come too! So Nicole got ready and we waited for Ornella and Manuela. After a on hour wait (!) Ornella and Manuela arrived and we drove to the No Limits. Everybody liked it there and for Nicole it was her first time goint out en femme (someone even tried to pick us up :-)). Well... going out with a bunch of trannies is a lot more fun then goin out alone. And you feel a lot more secure on the street. So this won't be the last time that Nicole, Ornella and Manuela went to Carpe Noctem.
12-09-97	Blind Date
	Two weeks ago I had met a new TV from cologne on IRC and after a nice chat we decided to meet on this friday at 20:00. So i finished work early because I had to take the dog for a walk, get some wine and stuff, take a shower and shave (not just my face :)) and get ready. Because she also was a bit into BDSM, I decided to wear much the same outfit as last Saturday (see above), but instead of the skirt I wore my loose black pants. Well... it got eight o'clock... it got 20:30... it got nine o'clock and who didn't show up was her. At this time I was really pissed up (all dressed up and nowhere to go :-)), so I got onto IRC to distract myself a little bit. Lucky me Nicole had pity with me and came over to help me drink the wine :-). Nicole doesn't like to leave and enter her home dressed up, so she changed back to her male guise at my flat before returning. It was late at night, so I had to take the dog out for a walk again, and I went out with her (or him :)) en femme. I must admit, it felt nice having male company for a walk. It made me feel secure and like "just one of the girls".
19-09-97	(Vanessa) ...Soon to come
26-09-97	(Meeting Monica) ...Soon to come
01-10-97	(Nicole!) ...Soon to come
04-10-97	(No Limits 4) ...Soon to come