• The feel of the clothes. Elastic straps, hooks, suspender fasteners, satin, nylon. Corsets, the feeling of lacing myself up, wearing a bra. Walking along gracefully on high heels. Tight skirts that restrict my movements. Thin blouses that show my bra strap clearly from the back.
  
  
• The makeup. The wonderful feeling of transforming myself. Putting on eye shadow. The taste of lipstick.

• Always being conscious of my appearance. There's always something needs adjusting - seams straightening, blouse tucking in, skirt hem tugging down, makeup touching up.

• Dreaming .... Though I am very definitiely hetero, I have a fantasy of going out for the evening with a man. Perhaps to dinner, where the waiter would address me as 'Madam', and then dancing. I'd enjoy dancing close, and he would run his hands down my back, his finger tips passing over my bra strap and the faint outline of my panties, touching the little bulges in my skirt made by my suspender clips ...

Here are two big IFs:

• If I was about 20 now (and perhaps if I was not quite so tall) I would probably have a go at living as a woman full time. I still wouln't see myself as a TS or aim to transition, but I would love to try the experience of living and working as a woman. Here's a picture of me working in my office, a junior woman executive. I take phone calls, write letters, interview staff. I go out into the main office, perhaps bend down to the photocopier, tugging my miniskirt down, aware that men in the office are looking at me. I travel to work in the moring on the train, so excited to be a woman, so nervous. At the end of a long busy day I make my way home tired, just another woman squeezed on the train ...... but a woman .....

Of course, this is now a fantasy, but I wonder .... ?

Are there any TVs or CDs out there living and working full time as women, just for the fun of it, and not intending to transition ? If so, I'd love to hear from you.

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