Where do I begin? I guess I've had this desire all my life. I tried to ignore it... but I couldn't. I almost feel sorry for the unexpecting person in a relationship because, for lack of better words, they haven't got a clue. It plays such havoc. She surely can't understand because I don't understand why I feel the way I do. Do I tell her? And risk my relationship?
Well, finally at the age of 45, I told her. I had to. I guess I felt that things wouldn't get any better (not that things were bad) with us unless she knew where I was coming from. After two divorces (where the subject was never addressed), I had been living with Jayne for two years when I told her my desires. I think she was caught off guard to say the least. Very surprised. Didn't quite know what to say. It was kind of a blur for me four months ago because I was so nervous. So terribly nervous. I was risking a 2 year relationship with a very understanding and caring, not to mention very attractive, person that I truly loved. At first, she was a little upset that I didn't tell her long ago. I think that telling Jayne put some things in perspective for her. For instance, why I was so persistent about her dressing for me. Maybe my way of living my fantasy through her. She was great about that.
Anyway, at this point, she is letting me do pretty much whatever I want. Almost every night, I dress in one way or another. Usually a skirt, hose, heels and bra. And on the weekends, nails, make-up and hair. She has gone with me to help me buy things which is probably more fun for me than she realizes. We like to buy lingerie and clothes, come home and take pictures of me and I've taken some fantastic pictures of her. She also helps with my make-up and even sews for me.
Well,
to make a long story short, this little essay is a tribute to my better
half. Someone to make any CD jealous. I feel so lucky to be
able to feel so comfortable dressed around her, and I know that she doesn't
totally
understand, but I love her more than she'll ever know.
Marla
P.S.
For any couples out there dealing with these issues, you are sharing something
so personal. Just know that if you can come to terms, this can make
you both closer than you could ever imagine.
