Trying to Figure out Life

How do you find the right balance of space and closeness? 'Cause I'm flying blind here, trying to read the signs, and it's bearing a very close resemblance to my driving...whenever I drive new places, I think I know where I'm going, but when my surroundings don't look familiar anymore, I start to get uneasy and can't decide between turning around and heading back or trusting my instincts and continuing to go forward. And usually, there's no good place to pull over and read my map, so I try to read tiny lines on my map as I speed down the road. So that's basically how my life is going these days.

Life's like a road that you travel on
When there's one day here and the next day gone
Sometimes you bend sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind
There's a world outside every darkened Door
Where blues won't haunt you anymore
Where the brave are free and lovers soar
Come ride with me to the distant shore
We won't hesitate break down the garden gate
There's not much left today

Life is a highway
I want to ride it all night long
If you're going my way
I want to drive it all night long

Through all the cities and all these towns
It's in my blood and it's all around
I love you now like I loved you then
This is the road and these are the hands
From Mozambique to those Memphis nights
The Khyber Pass to Vancouver's lights
Knock me down get back up again
You're in my blood I'm not a lonely man

There's no load I can't hold
Road so rough this I know
I'll be there when the light comes in
Tell 'em we're survivors

Life is a highway
I want to ride it all night long
If you're going my way
I want to drive it all night long...

Anyway, I'm getting off-track. The other thing going through my head lately is this difficulty reconciling what I want now and what I want later. That doesn't sound right. :-) I guess it's logic vs. desire? And I don't necessarily mean desire in a sexual sense. Logically, I know how things have to go over the next few years. But I know what my heart wants now, what makes me happy. And that doesn't involve waiting or being logical.

I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
I want to know right now
What will it be

Argh...that's still not coming out right. It's not a matter of being patient or having faith. That's not the issue. Rather, it's like my brain is split in two and neither half is talking to the other half. So depending on which half is in charge at the time determines what I'm focused on, so to speak. So every time, the not-so-sensible side takes charge, the sensible side says, "Huh? Where'd that concept come from?" I still don't know if this makes any sense...but then again, I don't understand most of the time, so why are any of you expecting me to explain this to you guys?? :-)