Religion I was raised in a small town in West Texas where there are more churches than there are stores in the town. My family went to the Methidist church every week, and I was very active in the youth group, and sang in the choir there. All the time I was growing up I was somewhat in denial as to my sexuality-- I simply didn't understand it. When I was a senior in High school, a guy forced himself on me, and threatened me if I didn't have sex with him, that scared me off from any kind of relations at all. I went to college at Texas Tech, and after being there a year, and having no church experience there, I met Jesus in a meeting there on campus, and began fellowshipping with a small charismatic parachurch--a very conservative group I will say. In God's sovereignty, the pastor there had been gay, and was then married (to a female) and had small children. Even with all the advice he had, in all the experiences, I saw that even he had not been fully changed-- that when there was a cute guy that passed, he would be humble enough to ask for prayer. I prayed and prayed, and distracted myself enough with school, work and church to not be concerned much with myself. That church closed,and I moved to the Dallas area, where I began working for a televangelist. Well, so much time went into church,and work there that although I knew there were desires there, I covered them over with long hours of study and prayer. I moved to the Phoenix area when that church closed, and distracted myself still with work for the first 7 years I was here. I finally began to slip, and view pornography, and realize that the desire for men wasn't going to go away. I finally came to a point at church that I cried out to God that if these desires did not get changed, I would do something more with them. This was during a time when my church was beginning a new emphasis on reformed theology--Theology based on a Calvinistic approach to doctrine-- with an emphasis on God's Sovereignty-His control over ALL aspects to life. I began to realize that 1. God is in control--he does all things for his good pleasure. 2. If he is in control, then he controlled my genetic background--the things that made me gay that were part of my physical nature 3. He is also in control of my family-- what ways I was nurtured, and brought up that added to the genetic propensity to like men. 4. If he then is in control of these things, it would be against his will to fight what he naturally placed in me, and to fight against God is sin. Therefore, despite my church's feelings against it, I accepted that "I am what I am by the grace of God" I still am not out to my church, and still do sound, and teach 3rd and 4th graders Sunday school 2 weeks out of every 8.