HOW DO THEY FEEL

I yearn for these braces when I'm not wearing them. Not always, but sometimes the thought of wearing them just sweeps through me. Its a rush of tingling pleasure. A very sensual feeling. To be sure, I do not have the experiences (or lack thereof) of someone with spinal chord injury as I can feel the braces squeezing my thighs, calves, ankles and feet; and I can readily move my legs for balance and locomotion.

My braces very effectively lock my knees which doesn't severely inhibit walking on flat surfaces yet that impairment becomes readily apparent when bending over and becomes a real obstacle when navigating stairs. In fact, stairs are almost impossible in any practical sense although I can climb them by spreading my legs really wide and pulling myself up with my hands and arms. Theoretically stairs can be negotiated with crutches, and if you really needed braces you would have to master that technique. I'm afraid I would fall and severely injure myself before I developed that skill. When you do trip or stumble, perhaps catching a crutch on a chair leg, the ability to move your legs for a recovery is essentially gone. I have to be very careful and mindfull of every movement when wearing the braces.

For me, a more interesting experience occurs when my ankles and feet are held rigid by braces and stiff shoes. This really gives a feeling that differs from everyday walking, both with the knees locked, and freely moving.

In the Perthes, where one foot is held off the ground by the brace, and the other foot by a built up (or maybe high heeled) shoe, walking with the brace unlocked is dangerous because the extra leverage put on the knee by the longer brace tends to make it collapse and the ankle muscles are unavailable to help hold the weight.

Using the crutches also contributes to an experience different from ordinary walking, and adds a reassuring stability to the traverses.

I like donning the braces before I go to bed. The tight leather bands are as comforting in their security as the cold metal is insulting and harsh. Preferably the braces are also holding my feet and toes pointed in the aesthetically pleasing manner desired by gymnasts and ballerinas. The first attempt to roll over awakens me with a start when my legs won't make the required moves. I struggle, using my arms, to affect the flip and settle again into the carress of leather and now warm metal as I drift again into sensual oblivion.

After I've worn the braces long enough (several hours) and then removed them, the feeling of their cuffs and stems lingers as I move my now freed legs, or brush them against clothing or furniture, gently reminding of their comforting carress.

I readily confess that I have no idea why I find wearing braces pleasurable. I have no desire to spend my life crippled, injured or handicapped. Yet at a very early age when I saw braces on another child I knew I wanted (actually longed for or yearned for) the experience, suspecting somehow that it would feel really good. I waited years for the opportunity and lept on it imediately when presented. I have not regretted it, nor been dissappointed in my expectations.

Wearing my braces every once in awhile somehow rejuvenates me. Thinking about them is every bit as effective (I suppose) as Viagra. Perhaps their use parallels the experience of bondage. Although I'm not interested in that activity, I sometimes enjoy the images. I do like how they look, agreeing with others, that they may have a jewelry or adornment quality. There's pleasure in adding extra leather straps, pulling them tight to secure their buckles. They provide an awareness of many more square inches of my legs than I would normally feel; its alot like getting a massage (except the massage stimulates blood flow and the braces cut it off ending in sometimes delicious pain). Here again, however, I'm not into gratuitous pain, whippings and the like. The elements of complete control over these feelings that bracingwearing gives, and the security of privacy, while exploring an otherwise forbidden adventure, have merit for me I suppose.

Since I never hear people talk about their recreational brace wearing experiences at parties, I assume this to be a somewhat unusual experience (and some might even say, wierd, in a non-judgemental statistical sense, of course). But I suppose its human nature to want to share our pleasures and I find great satisfaction with the ability to express my feelings through this site. I'm further rewarded by the exchanges with others who share similar feelings.

Namaste

Emiline