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Indecision
would it be right
to touch you
to feel you skin under
my fingers
to have you lie next to me
to smell your scent
and feel your heart beating with mine
would it be wrong
to hold your hand
as we walk along
or hold you in the night
and warm you
would it be wrong
for those who love
to touch
with skin
and soul
Gina A. Pond (c)2001
Mina #2
Hi all, I know it's been awhile, but here's another little gem:
I got nothin' here that you want.
I can't go on like this, girl. If you want me, tell me so. You're what? Not queer? Yeah, sure. Then what are you doing here?
What's that you say?Ahh…you want to explore? Well, hell, you've come to the right place. No pun intended really. I'm just tryin' to make you laugh. And maybe a little more I suppose. Did you see the stars from my porch? Real pretty, eh? I thought so. I made a poem about it once.
What? You don't like my poetry?
Well, fuck you!
I didn't really want you anyway. Yeah, I just wanted to have sex with a woman. Yeah, that's it. I wanted to feel used by another woman, because, yeah, I like it like that. I like my lovers to inflict pain on my soul. Yeah, I like it that way. I like it a lot when my lovers decide that all they really want is a sexual experience and think that that's what I want because I'm so sexual. Yeah, I really like it when people trample on my heart and rip it to shreds.
I've kind of made this my lot in life, wouldn't you say?
So do you want it or not? Huh? What will you tell your boyfriend tomorrow? You still want me to be with you? No, I don't think you do. You look like you don't know whether you're coming or going, going or coming.
Yeah, that was another pun. I'm so damned good at them. Maybe I'll write a book full of 'em. Ha! You'd like that wouldn't you? Open up this book everyday and get a dose of my sarcastic humor. Oh, no, acctually, you don't want me at all. You don't like it that way. You don't think you're dyke enough. Oh sorry, am I too dyke for you? Oh yes, that's right. I'm more of a lesbian than you are. Well, isn't that funny, you sure seemed like quite the bi dyke that night, liking my cunt like candy.
Oh, I'm sorry. You don't like the word cunt, eh? Well, get used to it my dear, I'm not the same woman I was 2 years ago. Now I know what you were doing. You were confused, weren't you dear? Thought my clit was a dick, right?
Oh, sorry, am I insulting you? Well, acctually, no I'm not sorry. In fact, I'm glad I just insulted you. Do you remember the list? I sent you a private email, and you sent a whole email to the entire list? Oh, don't remember that little ditty, do you? Oh let me refresh your memory:
Me: The most erotic thing I've ever done was my first experience with a woman.
(Note: I didn't even mention your name. Kept it anonymous as I knew you were on the list.)
You (to the entire list): Oh, so I'm the most erotic thing you've ever done?
(Note: This was public.)
So, now everyone knew that we slept together. I suppose you didn't really know me at all, did you? Funny how you seemed to drop off the face of the earth after that. Although, I failed to mentioned that you didn't finish what you started. Oh, did I forget to tell you this, I'm sorry, I don't communicate very well, I'm afraid. Maybe it's too lesbian of me. Yeah, you left me at 2 am horney as a dog! It was the most erotic thing then, but man, was I bummin' after. So, I ended up staying up later just to finish myself off. (and it was much better!) Ha!
Oh, am I keeping you awake? Well, I'll let you go and entertain my dear readers for awhile. They seem to pay attention. They don't talk either. Oh, yeah, you talked too much when we broke up. Sitting there on the beach totally analyzing me and saying that I'm more lesbian than bi and that I was falling too much for you. What, did you think I meant that poem? Did you really think that I was totally smitten with you? You didn't see that as an honoring of our experience?
Ah Fuck You!
Oh wait. I already did.
c. 1999 gina a. pond
god/dess
you stare at me
non-commital
non-gendered
you speak to me
and i cannot hear
my ears not open
to the sound of your voice
but we touch each other
the only way we can
communicate
in love and touch
in dreams you lay
beside me
in sky
you are me
c. 1999 gina a. pond
the crone
one-
she comes without warning
two-
i challenge the notion
three-
i fall
i fly
i move to higher ground
i jump to crush the demons
i praise the goddess
as she lifts me higher
brings me lower
inflicts pain
takes me in
becomes my lover
tortures me to ecstasy
and always
watches my back
c. 1999 gina a. pond
lynne
there are times
when i can forget about her
when i don't long for her
the times where i think
that passion has cooled
and friendship reigns supreme
but seeing her again
being close enough
to touch
brings on complications
of life and love
with her
c. 1999 gina a. pond
lover
my lover
i miss you
i feel your arms
but you are not there
i feel your breasts
the soft warm flesh
beneath my hands
but you are not there
i miss the way you hold me
the protection and comfort
of the caress
how i could fold into you
like a womb
but lover
you are not there
the comfort
and intimacy of touch
is a need so strong
that it creeps in
even when i am
thinking of other things
but where are you, my lover
where are
your arms
your breasts
your gentle touch
lover
you are not here
c. 1999 gina a. pond
ok...couldn't resist putting on another one (just one this time)
she's coming back for me
wraping me in her embrace
telling me to come with her
filling my head with lies
that i will believe
and it gets harder and harder
to fight her
when she brings back memories
as proof
ravaging my body like some giant insect
and as i squirm underneath
i try to find my way out
(c) 1999 gina a. pond
Lessons (parts 3 and 4)
III.
she sleeps now
and i watch her
she looks peaceful
in her robes
she has become
my lover, my mother, my teacher
but when I look at my hands
i see her blood on them
I see the knife in my hand
and in this vision, I scream
how can i murder one so dear?
i cannot tell her this vision
i will not
I cannot
I would let it consume me first
IV.
tell me what you have seen
i have seen nothing
she is looking out the window
onto the green hills
i stare at the wall
the lines dancing in my mind
she sighs
if you cannot trust me
then why do you learn
from me?
i continue to stare
thinking that I can trust no one
and saying
i came because i felt
incomplete
i came because I wanted knowledge
i did not realize I would find
you
(c)1999 gina a. pond
to be continued...
Lessons (parts 1 and 2)
Hola! I know it's been awhile since I've posted, but such is life. Anyway, here is one of my newest experiments in poetry, which is not finished. Enjoy! Gina
I.
In the parlor
there sits a woman
gracefully, she arches her hand
and I swallow hard
at her summons
my bare feet quiet on the floor
stopping in front of her
in my warrior's armor
which doesn't quite hide
my breasts
I kneel
she reaches out her hand
and touches my face
i know what you
are
she says
a woman, but not a woman
a man, but not a man
i try to hide my suprise
but she knows better
with a kiss
she pulls me to my feet
you will learn from me
you are not a warrior
gently
she pulls away my armor
until I stand naked
exposed
in her eyes I see
the longing
the fear
the pleasure
in what we are
and i realized that she, too
is naked, exposed
naked sacred
we have much to learn
II.
you have much anger
she said
it makes you a man
but you must realize
that your spirit is two
you have learned to become male
no you must relearn how to be
female...
she leans over to kiss me
as i am sleepy
in the moonlit bed
I wonder how long it will take
as i am impatient
she says
wait for the morning
my love
(c)1999 Gina A. Pond
The Painting (#2)
In the flow of your body
I notice
the lines of your painting
how the colors of you
accentuate
the glow of
you sensuality
and I watch you
in wonder
feeling the touch
without coming
close
to you
(c)Gina Pond 1998
Diana
the golden hue of
the harvest moon
her alabaster breasts
gold in
the waning summer
your beauty
enthraling
light splashing over me
your touch like a lover
demanding
yet delicate
inspiring me to become
the goddes
that I am
(c)Gina Pond 1998
Thomas Paine Coffeehouse, San Diego, CA
most people believe
that sex
is a physical act
between two people
but there is sex
of the mind
the erocticism of intellectual
comversation
the way that two minds
can bore into the soul
the orgasm beig
the realization
of another mind
stimulating yours
and the idea that
the physical
is just a touch
away
(c) 1998 Gina Pond
Longing
There are women everywhere
in my head
and I can picture them
naked
every one
all of the women I can't have
but want just the same
telling their tales of men
while I know and want
to do more
because I can LOVE a woman
I FEEL a woman
because I am a woman
I understand the need for touch
to be held in the moonlight
and talked to
until they fall asleep
or the gentle caress
that lasts forever and a second
to be LOVED
and not just to be fucked
to be held and rocked
all night long
something I could do
I could LOVE these women
if I could love these women
(c) 1998 Gina Pond
Hands
my hands are ugly
they are dry
the nails are short
almost non-existant
I have a wart
on my right thumb
could anyone want these hands
with thier imperfections
and dead skin...
could a lover?
(c)Gina Pond 1998
Caught
I am caught
in the strands of your hair
in the rythm of
your body
I imagine you
naked and smiling
passionate
your body melted on mine
perfection
with our
my desire
a want
no, a need
to feel the warm cool
skin underneath
you
(c) Gina Pond 1998
The Nude
she sits
with alabaster breasts
staring at me through
oil on canvas
her nakedness only
a small part of
her stare
she knows I am here
wishing I could touch
the body
made flesh by
an artists hand
she sits
staring
teasing
naked
(c) 1997 Gina Pond
Retrospect
I remember you
the way you touched me
the way you smelled
I remember how you loved me that night
with passion
but the fire was short lived
and I was sad
because no man has ever touched me
with the gentleness of a woman
and I miss that
I miss holding on to you naked body
with the moon splashing over us
flowing over you as I explored
fingers, toes, breasts, legs
and tasted every inch
and when we held each other
I felt safe and warm
for that moment
the universe was right
but you left me in that state
and now I keep searching
for that touch
(c) 1997 Gina Pond
Lavender and You
I reach for your body in the dark
not knowing what to expect
except the rush of skin against skin
the feeling that this is right and new
your breasts in my hands, in my mouth
lavender kisses in your mouth
on your hands on my body
falling on my bed on the floor
my hands searching till you yell
I know every inch, every detail
my tounge rolling over your flesh
nostrils filled with lavender and you
laying next to you, breast to breast
I kiss you and flavors mingle
of lavender and me and you
my leg between yours, still feeling
exploring the curves of your body
the fullness of your lips your eyes
I am safe here, content and safe
(c) 1997 Gina Pond
Mina
I remember sitting here
stars looming overhead
and desire striking a match
the fire in the sky reflecting
the fire in my soul
I could be on to this
I could be on you
who is to say that love
is not spontaneous
that fire burns in an instant
or the moon does not rise
and as I rise to meet
your lips on my skin
I find that this is not enough
that this passion has burned
deep into my soul
causing me to explode
and implode
in the same instant
and at the end of this
we hold on to each other
as if clinging to a cliff
that we will fall off
and being told to look down
then with a crash
time settles in
and we are separate
once again
(c)1997 Gina Pond
Slow
If you give me permission
I will be yours
slowly I will touch you
as gentle as rain
washing over you
cleansing the fear
from your eyes
straining my hunger
against the restraint
of my love
I care about you
so much
I am patient
I will keep my distance
until you let me in
and reside
in your heart
(c) 1997 Gina Pond
The Painting
What is the mystery behind your eyes
do you see how I am
do you like what you see?
I can show you my way
if you are willing
I can touch you in ways
no man ever could
because men don't know
the deepest part of a woman
like another woman does
like I know of you
I know your dreams and desires
your curves and lines
like a painting
I'm willing to jump into
(c)1997 Gina Pond
Sarah
With my gentle touch
the silken threads of her hair
untangle
I touch her ear as she leans into me
and I wonder if she knows
how bad I want her
I tremble slightly
as she is contented and relaxed
even though there is pain
I stay
not wanting to move
for fear of disturbing her
or me
for her touch, her smell
seems constant
(c)1997 Gina Pond
You come to me in dreams
like a lover
your touch is only for me
and your eyes look at me
like I am the sun
and you are the moon
in balance
and in love
and I see this and wonder
could it happen
is this dream just something
to haunt me
your image recurring
in my head more than once
or is it something I need to feel
your hands on mine
in the waking world
(c)1997 Gina Pond
Clenched in Fist
She walked up to me with hands clenced in fist. I nodded and she
lay down next to me,
moving in her own rythm. She was here for me and me alone. Her perfect body low in
the moonlight. The pain of skin touching flesh cool in hot fire ways. I seek my soul in
her
arms, her legs, in places I have no words for. Her taste was bitter like almonds and
lavender . The softness of my tounge finding the fire that burned between her legs, in her
stomach, in her mouth. Rising, falling, finding land and shore with every move. The
summer heat making me tremble as her tounge explores me. I move to her rythm as her
tangy sweetness clings to my mouth. Burying me in this false hope, clinging to my
nostrils, drowning me in pools of desire and sweat. My hands exploring her soft, soft
flesh, as my skin burns holes in my soul, as she leaves with her own taste in my mouth,
calling down the hall, leaving my hands clenched in fist.
copyright 1997, Gina Pond
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