This one particular Critter I know of related a couple of incidents to me and I saw a few first-hand. Two incidents I witnessed occurred at my company gym. The first incident happened as I was standing with my pal Lu after we had finished our workouts. We were talking to Critter and another coworker who were both on treadmills. Lu said she was heading home where she was going to take a long bubble-bath. Critter remarked that he couldn’t take a bubble-bath without masturbating. Critter obviously had never learned that there are some things he should not share. After an embarrassing silence, Lu and I quickly got out of Critter’s presence.
One of the funniest incidents happened as Critter got on the treadmill next to an attractive man. Normally, this man would run on the treadmill for an extended period, but as soon as Critter got next to him and started trying to chat him up he couldn’t get off that treadmill fast enough. My pal Lu and I were laughing about how Critter had driven the guy off the treadmill when another guy got on the recently vacated treadmill next to Critter and almost had a terrible accident. The attractive guy had jumped off the treadmill so quickly that he had left it running full throttle. Critter saw himself as the savior of the guy who almost fell off the running treadmill, seemingly not comprehending that he had caused the other guy to flee so quickly that he had left it running.
Another incident I witnessed occurred when Critter invited himself along on our morning break with me and my pals Lu and Bren. Critter started peppering Bren with all sorts of questions about her sex life. Who initiates the sex? Have you ever used handcuffs? After telling him several times to stop with the questions, Bren had to shout several times at Critter "Case Closed!". Critter then proceeded to turn towards me and to prevent the same questioning, I exclaimed "I am not about to play Twenty Questions this morning".
Critter related a couple of stories to me when we were still on speaking terms. He told me of picking up a young attractive man. Supposedly after giving him a three hour blowjob, he asked the guy "Do you think you could cum now, I’m getting tired". Another time, Critter also told me that he was trying to keep a guy from leaving his house. The guy said "I’ll only stay if you’ll get down on all fours and bark like a dog", Critter reported that he did get down on all fours and bark, but the guy left anyway.
Critter told my pal Lu that he found it disgusting that I let my dog sleep in the bed with me and that I gave her naked showers (like I should wear clothes while bathing my dog so she doesn’t see my dangly bits). After hearing that I enjoyed talking loudly about giving my dog a naked shower whenever Critter was around.
A coworker related to me that a health club he attends has a Critter that hangs out in the sauna late at night. This Critter lurks in the sauna all naked with matted chest hair, hoping to lure some poor fellow to horrific sexual liaison. My coworker had to alter his routine in order not to see that particular Critter anymore.
