I have come to a realization that my website needs
to be taken down.

Since 1997, I have posted my story, my thoughts,
and my pictures.  I originally thought that this would be
a way of making friends, encouraging others, and perhaps
encouraging myself.  But this has not been the case.  I have
felt for a long time that I have allowed too much of myself
out, while keeping my family in the dark.
My family is very important to me and they should have been
the first to know.

I have done a lot of soul searching recently.  The answers
that keep coming back are the same.  I cannot reconcile my
lifestyle with my religious faith and family obligations.

I have faced a lot of internal guilt, fear, shame, sadness, and
loneliness.  I feel that there is a lot to lose and many people
that are hurt emotionally in the decisions that I have made.

Sincerely,
Denise James 1