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by Keith D. Fraser
"What's gotten into you, Mathew?" Kim said in a perplexed tone of voice. "He's not usually like this, Lisa. He's been coming here since he was eight months old and he never gives me any trouble when I change his diaper. For some reason today he's acting like a different boy." Kim had a determined look on her face. "Calm down Mathew. We'll get through this. It isn't the first time I've changed you. Relax and I'll be done in a minute."
In spite of her reassuring words, I continued to struggle uncontrollably. I was beyond the point of being reasoned with. I was desperate to escape what, at that moment, seemed like a fate worse than death. I'd been paying so much attention to the conversation Kim had been having with Lisa, that I'd temporarily forgotten the vulnerability of my position. She'd taken me by surprise when she grabbed me. Having just finished changing Andy's dirty diaper, Kim now had her sights set on me.
"Maybe you should do this one, Lisa" I heard Kim say. "I'll be here to help and it'll be a good training exercise. If you can handle a kicker-and-screamer, you'll be ready to change solo." With my panic level reaching maximum, I could barely comprehend the meaning of her words.
Everything had happened too quickly. The body swap with Mathew had occurred earlier that morning and I was now trapped in a toddler's body, desperately trying to gain equilibrium. I'd lost all the personal freedom I'd taken for granted as an adult. My mobility was now limited to the confines of the Wee Care nursery school. I was now just another drooling face in a crowd of squalling babies. I wanted my own body back, but I didn't know how to do that. The fact that I looked and behaved just like all the other babies around me made it impossible for me to seek help.
From my present vantage point as the teller of this story, I can perhaps see the situation a little more objectively than I did then. Kim was simply doing her job. All the children in her care were incontinent. Their little metabolisms were just as active, perhaps even more active, than an adult's metabolism. It was inevitable that there would be of lots and of wet and soiled diapers. During Kim's years of working in childcare, she'd changed tens of thousands of dirty diapers. She was a professional. She'd taught herself to see beyond the revulsion she felt for urine and feces. Inside each dirty diaper she changed, she'd see the beauty and innocence of the person she was changing, rather than a pile of poop.
As I squirmed and kicked, a long forgotten memory surfaced in my consciousness. It was of an experience I'd had many years before as a young child. I was probably seven or eight years old. One afternoon in early June, I was walking home from school. We'd had a party that afternoon to celebrate the end of the school year. There had been cookies, cake and refreshments. It was a hot day, I was thirsty, and I had consumed a lot of Kool-Aid. By the time I left school I had to pee really bad.
I was a shy little boy and felt very embarrassed about undressing in front of other people, even other children. I rarely ever went to the lavatory at school. I usually just held on to my pee and poop until I got home. Normally this wasn't a problem. On this occasion though, I'd consumed a lot of fluid in a short time. My bladder was full and I was racing home to empty it.
There were some teenaged girls that lived a few streets over in my neighborhood. They would frequently loiter at the corner of the street I lived on talking amongst themselves as I and my friends passed by on our way home from school. Sometimes, as we walked by, they'd harass us by making comments like "Look girls, here come the little brats. They're rushing home to their mommies to get their diapers changed. Better hurry little boys. Your pants may start leaking."
I was kind of embarrassed by this talk, but my friends and I usually just ignored this harassment. But that afternoon, I was by myself and I was in a hurry because I had to pee. As I rounded the corner, I realized that four of the girls were standing on the sidewalk directly in my path. I tried to hurry by unnoticed, but one of them saw me and started the usual pestering. Then she reached out and grabbed me.
This was the first time I'd had been accosted physically by one of them and I instinctively tried to break free of her grasp and run. But she held me tight and then another one grabbed my arm. The two girls dragged me back into a secluded area between the houses. The other two girls followed.
There was a picnic table there and the girls lifted me kicking and screaming on to the table. "What's the matter little baby? Why are you squirming so? Does baby have diaper rash? We better take a look girls!" One of the girls stood at each end of the picnic table, holding my arms and my feet. Then a third girl unbuttoned my pants and started pulling them down to my knees. Then she pulled my tee shirt up to my chest.
At that moment, I lay helplessly writhing on the table with only my underwear covering my abdomen. "Look girls, the baby's wearing underwear. His mommy must have finally managed to toilet trained him. Let's check his pants anyway just to be sure." With that, one of the girls grabbed my underwear and pulled them down to my knees.
As I lay there naked from chest to knees, the girls all started ogling the seat of my underwear. "Look at those poop stains. I spoke too soon. He may be in underwear, but he isn't toilet trained. We better check his butt." With that, one of the girls grabbed my penis and lifted it out of the way. A second girl force my legs apart and pushed them into my chest.
As I lay there on the table struggling to escape, one of the girls spread apart the cheeks of my bum and started examining my anus. "Woo! No wonder there's a stain in his underwear. This bottom has not been properly wiped. There's no diaper rash now, but with a bum this dirty there soon will be."
I was in a state of complete panic. I struggled desperately to free myself, but the girls continued to hold me in place. Then a strange thing happened. I felt a funny tingling sensation in my abdomen. I involuntarily stopped struggling and became still. Then I felt a warm, wet sensation enveloping my abdomen. The girl holding my penis suddenly let out a shriek and leaped back in horror.
"Euuu! Yuk! The little devil just peed on me." She started wiping her hand on the front of her skirt. Then all the girls seemed to react with panic. "I told you he was a little sucky baby, didn't I?" the girl holding my legs said. "My little brother always pees when my mom opens ups his diaper."
At that moment, I felt the sensation of hands pulling and tugging around my crotch and I no longer felt naked around my mid section. Then hands grasped my ankles. Without intending to, I looked up and at the same instant became aware of a damp, clammy feeling around my abdomen. Those girls were no longer accosting me. Instead, towering above me, Kim and Lisa were peering down at me. "There that's not so bad is it Mathew?" I heard Kim say.
Lisa began fidgeting with something at my side. I could hear a metallic klinking, like the sound of knitting needles in action. "Slip the little cap back" I heard Kim say. "Once you've got it back, the pin part should come loose fairly easily. They're just like ordinary safety pins except that they're bigger and have the extra safety cover. That's good. Now unfasten the one on the other side too." Lisa then began fidgeting with the other side.
"That's good" I heard Kim say. "Now spread his legs and pull back the front to check the damages. See if he's dirty." At that moment everything around me seemed somehow surreal. Where had those evil girls gone? Was I dreaming now or was I dreaming before? Or was I dreaming both now and before? There was a relaxing, warm feeling in my abdomen and a slight nervous tension in my stomach. Then I felt a tingling sensation in my penis. I thought for a second that I might be having an erection. Then, in what seemed like slow motion, a fountain began to rise up in the middle of my field of view. As it reached its apogee, it seemed to linger for a split second. I couldn't imagine what it was.
At the same time, the nervousness feeling in my stomach began to dissipate and it was replaced with a pleasant feeling of release. The stream then seemed to continue its journey, but instead of coming straight down, it lurched forward like a creeping-barrage in some Great War battle. In the blink of an eye, it had reached my chest, chin, and the trench of my face--my mouth. I instinctively turned my head to avoid being wounded and at the same instant felt a sensation like someone shooting me with a water pistol in the side of my head.
"Oops, flip it back!" I heard Kim say. I felt cloth covering my abdomen again and the fountain instantly vanished. "That's one thing that I forgot to tell you, Lisa. Little boys love to wait until you've got their drawers half off and then they start peeing. I don't know why it is. Maybe it's stimulation around their abdomen or the release of the pressure when you unfasten their diaper, but the moment you uncover their penis, they turn on the tap. I usually keep a cloth or a torn diaper beside the table for protection when this happens. In a pinch, you can just flip the front of the diaper he's wearing back up and wait until he's done. Then you can finish the diaper change."
It seemed like an eternity passed as I lay passively staring up at Kim and Lisa. They, in turn, were staring down at my abdomen wearing expressions of patient anticipation on their faces. Maybe it was just some conditioned response of Mathew's toddler body, or maybe a natural continuance of the relief I was feeling in my abdomen, but for a while I completely acquiesced. I simply was not in control of the situation, and at that moment I felt helpless to take control, so I lay there and took my medicine
"As I said before Lisa, Mathew's mom has been sending him to school in cloth diapers with pins and a waterproof wrap. That's because he's started trying to take care of himself when he's uncomfortable. He's not strong enough to unfasten pins, so while he's in cloth he can't make too much of a mess. But once you put on a disposable, you'll have to keep a close watch on him. He has no problem unfastening tapes and if he's dirty and manages to get his diaper off, he may try to play with the bowel movement. To a baby, a blob of feces seems just like play dough. Most days he fills his pants sometime during the morning. Your best protection is to get to him right away when he's done it. He can't make much of a mess with a diaper that is only wet, even if he gets it off. I caught him outside earlier with his pants down and his wrap almost completely off. I assumed he was soiled, so I checked his drawers. he was only wet. If his pants aren't dirty now, it means there is probably one coming."
There was a moment of silence. "Ok, it looks like he's finished wetting so let's carry on. Pick a fresh diaper off the pile and unfold it so it's ready to go. Now, grasp Mathew's ankles and raise his bum. I usually give a baby's bum a wipe with the diaper, even if it's not dirty. This removes any traces of feces that might remain from a previous change." Lisa did as Kim suggested. The sensation was one of a damp cloth used to make several, slow and purposeful stokes across my scrotum, anus and up my back. Somehow I'd hardly been aware of the wet diaper while it was on me, but now that it was off and being used as a wipe, it felt cold and clammy. This probably would have been an unpleasant sensation even if it had been a regular baby wipe sweetly scented with lotion and mild soap. The fact that it was a diaper soaked with urine that was beginning to ripen, make the experience more than unpleasant. I let out shiver of revulsion. How had it come to this? I was a handsome, virile man, not a helpless, incontinent little child.
"Doesn't wet cotton make a wonderful wash cloth, Lisa?" I heard Kim say. Disposables are so absorbent that they don't really feel wet even when they are. That's good for a baby's bum, but it makes a poor baby wipe. Cotton diapers, on the other hand, can be sopping wet, like Mathew's is, after only one or two wettings. That's bad for a baby, but makes the diaper wonderful for wiping the baby's bum. In the old days when cloth diapers reined supreme, they had no wet wipes. But it didn't matter because babies pee more often than they poop. Every dirty diaper was fully prepared to be a soft, gentle wet wipe by the time the mommy got around to changing it."
Both women then seemed to peer, as if by instinct, inside the open diaper. "See what I mean, Lisa?" Kim asked. "Those streaks are poop that was on Mathew's bum when he arrived here this morning. If there is any indication of rash, we need to apply a thin layer of this cream." Kim directed Lisa's attention to a jar of zinc oxide cream she had removed from the top shelf of the change station. Then Lisa pulled back on my ankles, so that my butt was facing the ceiling and both women leaned forward to examine it.
"Is that clean enough, Kim?" Lisa asked. "I'm not really used to looking at bums to see if they're dirty." She seemed a little overwhelmed. Lisa hadn't said much up to this point, and I was surprised by the soft, girlishness of her voice. There was a quality of innocence in way she spoke that I hadn't noticed before. In my adult body, I might have considered her too much of a teenybopper to really take seriously in a man-to-woman kind of way. Girls her age usually found my maturity to be mildly intimidating, and my quite self-confidence attractive. I imagined that in her private fantasies, she might envisage the manly things she'd find if she had an opportunity to explore my pants. Ironically, Lisa seemed intimated not by the manly things, but by the babyish things in my pants. She'd probably never seen a penis before, except pictured in a book. Now she was face-to-face with the real thing. The irony was that rather than the big, handsome, manly penis of her fantasies; she was looking at a cute, little baby penis nestling in a pool of pee.
"After you've finished wiping, you can remove the wet diaper and apply the cream" Kim said. Lisa seemed to be following her instructions mechanically like a robot. "Now without lowering his bum, slip the fresh diaper underneath, position it carefully and then lower his bum into it." I felt my behind being lowered onto the padding. "That's good. Now pull the front up between his legs and position it so that the taping surface is in the center. Push the flaps back down so they go as far around his back as they can reach. That's it. That's good."
I felt Lisa fidgeting clumsily at the front of my abdomen. As she did, I found myself gazing directly into her face. She wore a look I can only describe as studious deliberation, like someone concentrating intensely on some important task. I was again taken by her youthful, girl next-door appearance. She seemed intent on getting everything arranged and fastened just right. She seemed so wholesome and greenhorn at that moment. Now it was I feeling a sudden attraction.
In fact, my erotic instincts might have been aggressively aroused were it not for the fact that they were being completely overpowered by an intense feeling of humiliation. After all, this wholesome, young girl had just watched me urinate, then wiped me with the wet diaper, had then inspected my bum, and was now preparing to put a disposable diaper on me. I was physically closer to her than I'd been to any woman in months, and ironically I couldn't have been further away in the man-to-woman sense. This was a girl-to-baby thing.
"Now, while you hold the front of the diaper in place, tear a tape from its backing and with one quick motion, pull it across and place it on the taping surface. Then do the same with the other side. With a bit of practice, Lisa, you should be able to fasten both tapes in less than 5 seconds. In fact, once you're proficient, you'll be able to do an entire diaper change in under a minute. That's for diapers that are only wet, of course. Dirty ones take longer. Actually, they take a lot longer if they've leaked, or if the child has diarrhea. Diarrhea diapers are the worst ones to change. They almost always leak. The easiest ones to change are the ones with nice solid BMs. Big or small, as long as the BM is solid, the diaper is easy to change."
Lisa struggled gamely with the tapes and a minute later I was, for the first time in my life, wearing a disposable diaper. "Are they fastened OK?" Lisa asked. "Maybe they're too loose" she continued.
"No they're just fine, Lisa. Diaper tapes stick like glue. That diaper could get ripped to shreds and those tapes would still be fastened. Pull his pants up and we'll be nearly finished" Kim said.
I felt Lisa again grasp my ankles and begin wrenching my track pants up over my knees. "It would probably be easier if you stand him up to do that" I heard Kim say. Lisa grasped my arms close to my shoulders with her hands and pulled me to a standing position. For an instant that seemed like an eternity, I stood there like a performer on a stage staring out at the audience with his trousers down and wearing a diaper instead of boxer shorts. This was the perfect capper for the most humiliating experience of my life. Milling about before me, engaged in various activities, were fifteen or more children and adults. Any or all of them could have stopped what they were doing, at that moment, and gawked with pity at the poor little boy who'd shamefully piddled in his pants and then had his diaper changed.
Strangely, or so it seemed to me at that moment, nobody looked up. It was as if I had no audience, as if no one cared. My humiliating experience had been a non-event from the perspective of everyone except me and maybe Lisa. If the event did hold any significance for Lisa, it would only have been in the fact that it was the first time she's seen and touched a male's penis. An instant later, I was fully clothed.
Kim handed Lisa a baby wipe. "Here, you better use this to wipe his face since he tried to hose himself down." Lisa wrapped her left arm around my back and pulled me towards her. I could feel the warmth of her body and for a second I could smell her cologne. Then she began wiping my face, and the side of my head, and all I could smell was the sweet, baby powder aroma of the wipe. When she finished, she wrapped her other arm around me and gave me a hug.
"There, that wasn't so bad was it, Mathew?" Lisa said. As she spoke she patted me gently on the butt. "All fresh as a daisy. Do you want to go play with your friends? Mae is handing out snack. You can head over and get a snack, if you're hungry." Before I could begin to think of answering her, Lisa unceremoniously plopped me onto the floor. Then she bent over and we peered into each other's eyes. For an instant, I thought we had a meeting of minds, and then she reached out and tousled my hair. "You sure are a sweet little boy, Mathew. You keep your paws off your pants though, OK? If you feel uncomfortable you come and tell me, all right?"
Lisa then rotated me and gave me a shove on the behind. My momentum carried me out into the middle of the playroom where I came to an abrupt stop. As I stood there contemplating the situation, Kim walked by. She was towering above me, while herding a little girl in front of her. They paid no attention whatever to me. As they passed, in their wake, there remained the unmistakable bouquet of feces.
With nothing else to do, I turned towards what appeared to be a door to the kitchen. Mae, the third woman in the room, seemed to be passing out something to the children that were standing around the door. As I started to work my way in that direction, I heard Kim call out to Lisa. "I've got another one for you to do Lisa. I think it's a poopy one."
When I reached the door, the little boy Andy whose dirty diaper had been changed just before mine, was standing quietly by himself eating a biscuit. I walked over and stood beside him and Mae handed me a cracker and a small cup of juice. The cup had a lid with a protruding spout, the kind that doesn't spill even if it's lying on its side. I took the cup and the cracker and began eating. Like Andy I eat my snack in silence.
I felt drained by the humiliating experience I'd just endured and was now at rock bottom. Alone with my thoughts, the reality of my situation was beginning to sink in. Unable to communicate effectively with those around me, I was being held hostage by the impulsiveness and indiscretion of the toddler body in which I was trapped. I could see no obvious means of escape. I might be trapped here permanently, forced to live through the normal life cycle of a small child. That might be an acceptable fate for a real child, but I was an adult, with adult attitudes and knowledge. I'd seen the other side and the prospect of waiting fourteen years for a driver's license, reading Winnie the Poo instead of the Wall Street Journal, and wearing a toilet rather than sitting on one, seemed too awful to contemplate.
There was one other thing that I found unbearable about my situation. Like some cruel joke, fate had left me with a normal adult level of sexual tension, while robbing me of the adult male physique that I needed to relieve that tension. The day was not even half gone, and already I'd had female hands exploring my pants and in casual contact with my privates. Although I knew that these acts were for baby care purposes and contained no sexual overture, nonetheless they aroused in me an mistakable sexual tension. I had no practical means of relieving this tension. Were I to masturbate, I'd have no privacy. I wasn't even certain that masturbation would relieve my tension because it seemed to me that the epicenter of this tension was not my genitalia. Instead the tension seemed to be uniformly distributed everywhere in my body. Or should I say Mathew's body.
There is an old expression used by optimists, "The sky is always darkest just before the sun rises." At that moment, something happened and I saw a ray of light. A telephone rang. It seemed to come from the kitchen. Mae disappeared into the doorway and was gone several moments. When she reemerged, she called Kim over from the changing area. "Kim, a doctor just called from Westhill General. Apparently they've been trying to determine what's wrong with that man they took away this morning. He said something about peculiar marks on his legs and he wanted to know if we'd noticed anything unusual with the children. I said that we hadn't, but he wanted to come by later and examine any of the children that were in the vicinity of that guy when all the ruckus began."
"Mathew was the only one near that man at the time." Kim replied. "When I noticed something going on, I went over and Mathew was standing right across from him at the fence. Lord in heaven, I hope nothing has happened to Mathew."
Kim hesitated for a moment, as if to contemplate the situation. "Lisa and I just finished changing his diaper a few moments ago. He looked fine. I didn't notice anything unusual, except that he made a real fuss when he realized he was going to be changed. Anyhow, I guess it couldn't hurt to have him examined. When is the doctor coming?"
"He said he'd be here as quickly as he could and asked for directions" Mae replied. "Westhill is out by the stadium isn't it? I shouldn't take more than an hour to get here, I would imagine."
This was my ray of light. Maybe this doctor would be able to understand what had happened to me. I might be able to communicate with him. He might not be predisposed to the notion that I was just a baby. Maybe he'd realized from the behavior of my body that something had actually happened. Things were looking up. "This might be my chance", I thought. All I had to do was keep it together until this doctor arrived and then make it known to him that there was indeed a problem.
I continued munching on my cracker and sipping my juice. Yes, oh yes, things were again going in the right direction. And it was none too soon either. Maybe it was the cracker, or maybe it was just getting to be time, but I felt a slight rumbling in my tummy. Although it wasn't exactly like anything I'd felt as an adult, I knew intellectually what must be happening. Mathew's body was getting ready to void its bowels. If I gave in and allowed it to do what it wanted, I'd soon be walking around wearing a Pampers filled with feces. If that happened, the humiliation I'd feel would make the embarrassment I felt before seem as innocuous as walking around with my fly down. For that reason, I'd have to resist. I was going to take a stand.
End of Episode 3
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