Dave Finds His Pride

Sunday, April 11, 2004

What a difference a year makes.

For last years Gay Pride Parade I arrived early to stake out a good spot and was greeted by a mob of zealous protestors and their typically uncreative signs and slogans. I argued with them in defense of myself and my community until I was hoarse. It was an effort in futility, though - there’s no reasoning with someone who thinks they’re delivering God’s will. It’s something the religious right has in common with suicide bombers.

The parade marched by with all of the decadence that the zealots hate us for. A group of men in leather pulled along a cage with nearly naked man inside who was writhing around in mock ecstasy as his captors taunted him in a theatrical display of public sexual debauchery.

After the parade, another group of protestors welcomed everyone to the Party in the Park with their hateful chants. A young girl holding a bible offered to tell me about her friend Jesus. She wanted to be sure I knew that if I confessed my sins and repented He would grant me forgiveness and save me from the eternal damnation in hell I was otherwise destined for.

Inside the park, a beautiful lesbian couple in bridal wear was giving away slices of wedding cake as part of a symbolic effort to show that in spite of discrimination from the government they still thought of themselves as married. Around the corner I saw people smearing the icing onto their nipples and navels for others to lick away. It was disgusting.

I was, for the most part, able to put aside my frustrations with these situations and I had a good time circulating through the crowd with my friends. I met someone who gave me that wonderful feeling of butterflies in the stomach, and the feeling seemed to be mutual. We traded phone numbers but I knew somehow that we would never see each other again, and we didn’t. We both meant well, but that’s just the way it goes sometimes. I got sunburned too, like I do every year. It was, for me, an uninspiring day.

Then, a few months later, something amazing happened. The United States Supreme Court ruled that laws against sodomy, same or opposite sex, are unconstitutional. The highest court in the land declared that engaging the act that makes us different from everyone else isn’t a crime anymore. Jubilation!

A few months after that the Massachusetts Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples are entitled to full and equal marriage rights. We weren’t just being thrown a bone, we were being invited to the table to share a meal with everyone else. The first course has yet to be served, but still... Euphoria!

These events set off a firestorm of reactions from all sides and our nation has been polarized in ways not seen since the days of racial integration.

Municipal courts around the country began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples in a magnificent display of peaceful civil disobedience.

The President responded by calling for discrimination to be permanently enshrined into the holiest governing document of our nation. Historical images flashed through my mind of George Wallace screaming “Segregation now! Segregation tomorrow! Segregation forever!” in his gubernatorial inauguration address in Alabama decades ago.

Protestors and supporters have been gathering en masse at capitols and courthouses around the country. Children are asking questions at school and church and at the dinner table that grown-ups, hopefully after careful consideration, will have to answer. The simple dismissal of the issues of equality that was common just a decade ago is now gone. A real debate with real implications is finally happening.

This debate has put the gay community on the brink of major achievements, or on the verge of major setbacks if we fail. One of many important finish lines ahead is finally within our reach, but there are still obstacles in our path. Like it or not, the ball is in motion and all we can do now is push with all of our might and just maybe we’ll continue making progress.

The exhilaration followed me to this years Gay Pride Parade. Bad weather threatened but we all came out anyway and it turned out to be a sunny day. In place of last years protestors I saw dozens and dozens of heterosexual couples with their children. They all mingled happily with the rest of the spectators.

“Look, Mommy, a clown!” I heard a little girl shout as a drag queen sauntered by.

The memorable images for me from this years parade were more motivating than last years. The PFLAG parents and their children holding hands as they marched along warmed my heart. How simple love can be when we let it. The determination of the AIDS Project group and the women of the Lesbian Cancer Project uplifted me. How brave they are to wage a battle within their own bodies and also with the rest of the world. I cheered loudly for them. They were all here last year, but I was too distracted to notice then.

The men in leather left their cage and their indulgences at home this year. The strangest looking group of people were, ironically, actors from “The Rocky Horror Show” who came out in costume to promote their show. Perhaps the more acceptance the gay community receives from the rest of the world, the less we feel the need to rebel.

Recently I met someone with whom I feel something better than just butterflies. It’s too early to tell where our relationship might be going, but we’re having a great time trying to figure it out together. As something to be proud of and nostalgic about decades from now, maybe even together, we had planned to have a friend take a picture of us kissing in front of the anti-gay protestors when we arrived at the Party in the Park. However, last year’s hateful welcoming committee was no where to be seen this year. The festivities had been postponed a day by the weather, and I reasoned that the sudden adjustment to the schedule wasn’t something to which the rigid bigots could adapt. Change is hard for them. So instead we just went right into the park and got caught up in all of the hoopla. There were storm clouds on almost every horizon, but for most of the day the partygoers enjoyed a shaft of sunlight beaming down onto the fairgrounds. I even remembered to put on sun block this year.

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