Hi, I am Martina
I am a heterosexual crossdresser, living in Vienna, Austria. I am married to a wonderful wife, who struggles hard to understand my behavior.
Different to most other crossdressers this urge came up quite late, at the age of forty.
I always admired sexy lingerie, nylons and high heels but only on females. I never considered wearing them myself.
Then one day, about 3 years ago, at a clearing sale in a mall I bought my first pair of pumps. Of course they did not fit and landed in the trash shortly afterwards.
Still today I don’t know what gave the impulse. I think these feelings were suppressed on a subconscious level and finally broke their way.
They time afterwards is quite similar to most other crossdressers. The sweaty and redheaded shopping experiences, buying high heels, nylons and garters and miniskirst. Hiding everthing at home at the strangest places.
Luckily while I had my first CD experiences I got my internet access and discovered by chance the first CD’s homepage. After surfing dozens of pages and reading in newsgroups I learnt that I am not alone. That crossdressing is not a sickness, I am not a pervert and there is no need to feel guilty.
All these sisters on the net gave me the courage to come out to my wife about two years ago. Surprisingly in the first moment she was neither shocked nor angry, she took it as a funny game.
Some days later she even went shopping with me for some makeup and lingerie. I was in heaven.
Due to her advice, my dressing style improved dramatically. The heels got lower (due to my hight quite necessary), the skirts got longer, the makeup more decent and like most GG’s I now prefer pantyhose instead of stockings with garters (they are more comfortable).
Thanks to some very nice reactions of sales-ladies I became much more relaxed and self-confident while shopping.
As you can’t live in heaven all the time and happiness is shortlived, or maybe I pushed my luck too much.
My wife finally realized that my crossdressing is more than a funny game. She got more and more doubts and fears. Where would my way end, would I want to become a women, think on SRS?
We had and still have lots of discussions, me trying to convince her that I am absolutely happy with my genetic gender. That as much as I enjoy sometimes to appear as a female, I never even thought about living as a female all the time or even changing my body permanently.
As I run my own company, I am under constant pressure to keep the bucks rolling in. I act in a tough and professional manner and have to be always alert averting the next crisis, even before it comes up. Not to be misunderstood, I love my business but I also need some way to compensate, which I find in turning into a female appearance. (you can flame me now for thinking in this traditional gender roles). While others need alcohol or drugs to keep balance I consider my dressing as quite harmless, at least not causing organic damage or endangering others.
While my wife honestly trys very hard to be understanding and supportive, I am aware that I put a big burden on her. Being married for nearly 20 years to a man and suddenly sharing life with a female (sometimes) is not so easy to get used to or accept. I am not sure how I would react, would situation be the other way round.
So presently our life is quite varied, her attitude depending on her mood. Sometimes she even borrows my cosmetics or pantyhose or donating some of her clothes to me. At other times she feels irritated on just seeing my fingernails, which I keep a bit longer.
Having overcome already several problems in our life together (which tied us even closer), I am hopefull that our love is strong enough to find a way of mutual consent.
P.S. For those of you who understand German, I recommend to read this excellent speech by Katharina Surhoff. I was enthusiastic.