I'm only happy when it rains...
17 December 2000
Gawd it's sooo scary how fast time flies.... Okies lotsa stuff ... hehehe I have my
learners !!! Finally !!!! I got a 7 for the japanese dyke essay wooohooo !!! and
a 5 for Japanese... I wanted a 6 but I'm quite happy with a 5 considering how
much study I actually did compared to how much study I *meant* to do.... hehe I dyed
my hair pink for 2 days but I farked the roots so I ended up dying it back to blonde
yesterday b4 going to Athena star-woman's housewarming and Sandra's farewell party *sob*
she's leaving.... nooooo.... I've taught myself how to play pool, and I'm getting quite good
(how modest am I ?? rofl) hehehehe
Went to see George the other nite @ the Zoo, walked in there when Monique Brumby
was on and omigod it was sooo hot I stayed for about 5 mins and couldn't stand
it any longer, it was making me sick ... so I missed George *pout* but ah
well.... I can declare my undying love for Katie any day, you know?? roflmao Car
alarm girls !!!!
ummmm what else, ok back together with Dan *big
cheesy grin* sooooo happy ... but Scoob read a text msg that I sent her last
nite and she's in a bit of trubble so I don't know what'll happen there...
went down to Coff's Harbour with
Dan, that was excellent :) prolly going back down on Thursday to pick up her son !!!! yeah yeah
she gets 4 days a month access which is unreal ;) I sorta have muscle definition in my arms
wooohhoooo !!!! no luck with finding a new job *but* I qualify as independant so I can get
Youth Allowance which will be pretty coooooolies... omigod work xmas party, they gave everyone
pressies out of the bargain bin (cheapskates) and this poor girl got the wombat candle (whose ears
we cut off and gave it a facial reconstruction and carved bits into it with pencils when we were bored)
I just got a green tie with sheep on it and a soap in the shape of Australia... yeah baby!
Speaking of work this psycho Japanese grandmother hit Rebecca over the head !!!!
and I *think* that Rebecca actually went to school wif Dan... how small-world is
that??
Melynda - god she's a tripper... rofl... bit of an attention seeker... she
was out the other nite... Athena's house is *gorgeous* but there's a
bloody great big hill I have to walk up to get there *pout*... yeah... this
month's phone bill was $100 shite as soon as the contract is up, I'm getting a
pre-paid one with Optus... a) they're much cheaper b) most of my friends (read
Dan) are with Optus and c) pre-paid means no farken scary bills... and if I get
a Nokia I get games on it !!!! roflmao priorities here !!!
And I *still* have no idea what I'm doing for New Year's... *sigh* thinking of
going down to One Nite Stand on the coast, else been invited to a bash in
Lismore... all depends if I have to work New Years Day I guess... still no
January roster mind you, I bet I end up finding out like 3 days beforehand
whether or not I can go out NYE.... god that sux....
15 November 2000
Work is giving me the shits... I *so* can't wait to quit... Got in trouble today
for something that a) wasn't my fault and b) wasn't a problem in the first
place, just one of the section managers asserting his authority.... *growlies*
I'm sooo hungry, waiting for my mum to get off the phone so I can check my email
and have a nice, long, hot shower. It rained today, and I ended up stacking it @
work cos my con's don't like slippery surfaces... owies... ooooh I missed seeing
Tina Cousens yesterday in the Queen St Mall.... lol about 6 months ago, we had a
plan to snog her cos she was appearing @ the Wickham... I got close enuf, but
she was wearing a cowboy hat that would have made things difficult, so I decided
not to. Then she's doing a CD launch yesterday @ 12pm, but I had an
aerobics class @ 12.15 so I couldn't do it... *sigh* ah well. She's a bitch
anyway, what do I want to snog her for????
14 November 2000
Ok spot the slackarse !!! Well, I have an excuse ! Since the last entry, which I
didn't even upload lol, work cut my hours down to one shift a week (ie $140 a
fortnite b4 tax) so I've been jobhunting... *crossing fingers* I've got one @ a
convenience store @ Kangaroo Point. I've joined a gym (women-only)... got sick
of not fitting into my pants. So far it's grreat , I feel a helluva lot
better... not expecting any results for another month or so yet tho :/ but
shit... it's expensive... atmo I'm only on a trial membership, if I keep going
(which I want to) it's gonna cost me $60 a month.... sheesh.... I need that new
job !! I *finally* ended the thing with Danielle. *round of applause* Came
to my senses, realised it was all mind games and wishful thinking, and told her
so. Just as she was about to break up with Scoob. Shite. So
yeah, I feel a whole lot better and less stressed, but also kinda guilty in that
I've broken her heart... hmmmm. Melynda, very cute spunky gal who looks
sooo fabbo in suspenders and a tie... phwooaaaarrrr... bit of a snog thing... in
the midst of the Danielle sitch mind you, she has a *gorgeous* daughter
*grin* .. she met Allie one nite we were out and turned around and asked me for
Allie's number... grrrrrrrr have some tact girl !!!! so yeah... haven't
much spoken to her since... my pooor pooor phone bill.....
Oh yeah, I have *no* money. Seriously. It sucks. But I have
funky new Nikes (even tho Nike are evil multi-nationals and use slave labour)
that are *really* comfy. I don't look half as scary in lycra as I thought I
would, not that I really care but anyway.... I'm figuring co-ordination would be
a great help in aerobics classes, u know?? It's weird, I can do stuff if I like
double the speed and bounce it, but slowly, nope. Dekinai. My thighs
hurt atmo lol. Took my Dad out to a jazz concert for his birthday on
Sunday. It sucked. The audience was full of geriatrics, and the band were
almost as bad. We ended up walking out after about 1/2 hour and looking
for a decent place to drink ... 2 hours later, we end up in O'Malley's Irish pub
in the Mall... roflmao Dad walks up to the bar, asks for a beer. He hasn't drunk
in like 2-3 years. Chickie @ the bar says we have 16 different kinds of
beer, which would you like??? Look on his face was priceless lol...
I finished the essay .... wasn't all that happy with it to be honest... damn
lesbian-feminists hijacked it.... did my Japanese exam. Wasn't all too happy
with it either, the last question SUCKED. I couldn't show off half of what
I knew... grrr... Kanji as usual, studying would have helped !!! Ooooh I saw
Bound for the first time... God that movie is TACKY!!!! I mean that whole
seduction scene - puh-lease !!!! *cringe* how on earth it became such a cult
lesbian classic film, I don't know.... but the plumber chicky was cute
;) I want the new Melissa Etheridge album... Breakdown... verrry
nice ;) And I saw Sinead O'Connor live on Rove Live on Tv Monday nite....
phwooaaaarrrr I wanna marry Sinead.... her voice is.... omigod words cannot do
it justice... it's like satin sliding down my spine... And I have my usual
November cold... I finish exams, so I get sick... typical... spent a week
pretending that I wasn't sick at all *sneeze* but then I gave up and went and
bought me some drugs with speed in them lol... So if I don't get any sleep
tonite... I'll know why lol.... Soooo don't wanna go to work tomorrow.... Hate
the place now, sad but true. Just sick of my boss's stupid farken mind
games ... god I wish he'd get a life. Can't wait to quit. Maybe
moving in with Athena next year... big maybe... all depends on money.... *sigh*
it's soooo farked that everything revolves around a dollar... can't go roller
skating cos no money... can't move out cos no money... can't go to Japan to see
Grace et al...cos no money.... Although I *am* going to Mardi Gras, I've decided
that definitely lol....
Oh yeah, Chelsea has pissed off to Cloncurry and I didn't even know !!!! roflmao
!!!! God, just scrolling down, I've been doing this for over a year now....
sheeesus.
17 October 2000
I dreamt last nite that Dan gave me an ultimatum on 12 hours notice - she was
leaving for some bizarre town in Norway the next day, and wanted me to come with
her. I had no idea she was going, no tickets, no visa, no money. And I was
torn between running after her, and staying here. And all the arguments
for staying, were arguments of practicalities... like how much shit I'd get
myself into by running off to Europe. But yet I still wanted to follow
her. Anyway, she's down in Sydney atmo, wif Scoob. I went out last
Friday nite, they had a Rocky Horror special show thingo on, and it was good :)
But I ended up drinking, and they played 'Like the way I do' and I burst into
tears and went home and cried and yeah, same old same old rofl. And I have
an $85 phone bill and nooo money :( And my essay is due in 10 days.. shit hey !
But Friday nite is a special screening of Rocky Horror @ uni, and our friend
Lesa is the *bestest* guitar player ever :) So we've been having fabbo
singalongs lol ;) And I'm kinda happy and Allie is convinced I'm psychotic.... I
think I'm just having a Gemini phase...lol...And I got a 9/10 for my Japanese
oral and so I was chuffed :) And so I'm pretty cool with things... This chicky
said to me that I don't necessarily have to 'get over' Dan as such, that all
hurts start off as wounds, and gradually fade to scars, they're always there,
and they can ache when you press them, but they're part of who you are as a
person, and not to stress about them.... and she's right. And I got in
trubble re the phone bill lol.... ah well :) I'm wondering if anyone ever reads
this.....
2 October 2000
I'm soooooo tired of all this. I'm caught btn my head and my heart. I try
sooo hard to get over her, but I just can't.
25 September 2000
Omigod ! Under a month til the essay is due !!! aaaaaaargh.... Gold Medal for
Danielle.. she didn't ring me for 6 days !!!! (Sigh I'm sooo not touching all
the Danielle shit that has been happening over the past 2 weeks... At least I
can sleep thru the nite now w/o waking up and pining... but I still can't listen
to Melissa Etheridge if I've been drinking...) I feel waaaaay better
though... .Mike has the chicken pox lol.. I
was too tired to go to his party. Allie thought I was too much like her
sister... rofl.. but she's been brillo in my 1.30am crying sessions....
Racheal the hussy (according to Sandra) has a girlfriend.. who is quite cute.
Nova, the very butch and sought-after swimming coach has been acting rather
strangely, we're thinking PMS... Bec (other Bec-the-security-guard's-girlfriend)
is luverly but she's camping somewhere atmo.... Sarah this chicky from uni is
coolies ;) bit of a snog on Sunday nite... went to her & Sandra's place
yesterday arvo for a jacuzzi-cleaning-party... they found a dead rat in there
one day, and I've a feeling there's still ratty-bits in the dirty-water-scummy
stuff left in there... needless to say no one touched the jacuzzi rofl... Had my
Japanese oral this morning, it was ok but they videotaped us soo I was a tad
nervous... hmmm could have done better ;( And I'm soooo over Birdcage and
going out but there's a gay.com meet on Friday that I kinda want to go to, and I
want to see Sarah again sooo.... :) (she smells really good *grin* ) Hmmm what
else???
My phone bill this month is going to be crazy... so many sms !!! lol... oh yeah,
bored @ work the other afternoon, had really crappy photo taken (I kept
fucking blinking !!!!!! ) , and you wonder why I don't let ppl take photos of me
!!! rofl... so for everyone who's been whinging, have a bo peep
@ this... the new website is underway... having grrrrreat fun with my scanner
and a much more subdued image-map rofl...
13 September 2000
So I'm sitting @ home feeling like utter crap, called in sick to work, woke up
at 2.30am last nite thinking I was dying... feeling better now but my stomach's
all bleurgh and my taste buds are shot and I don't know whether I'll be alive
enough to go meet Allie... just spent 1/2 hour on the phone to Danielle having a
brilliant goss that will translate into about $15 worth of phone call cos I
forgot I called her mobile.... so expect to get in trubble when the phone bill
comes lol... but she cheered me up ;) s'cool :) and I called Rach and sorta
went... I have your flu and I'm not a happy chappy.... :p and she sorta
apologized on monday nite for sunday but she didn't say what she was apologising
for and Allie sorta made me think that I should find out what said apology was
for so... so I asked ~ and she sorta said she thought she was rude (ie by
snogging that skanky chick that she didn't even like and by being really drunk
and by not coming home wif me becos that was the whole reason I stayed out
late)... so all's cool.
I *so* want to throw up. And I'm having 2nd
thoughts about going to Mike's party cos he's now with Kristen, won't be paying
half as much attention to me... lol... and all his friends are first years and I
don't know them reallly welll and I'm not really all that fussed about going to
the casino... Ooooh I know what's in strawberry daiquiris !!!! s/berry liqueur
and bacardi and stuff... lol... sunday nite I asked Sandra what should I have to
drink, and she said have a s/berry daiquiri but *no one* knew what went in one !
lol I know what I'm drinking this w/end if I'm alive still !!! So yeah,
Friday nite is opening ceremony but I'm tempted to go out and drink a bit...
could go up to Noosa for the weekend with funky uni dykes... but should really
stay @ home and do some work...
12 September 2000
I have the flu.... thanks Rach.... lol... and if one more person teases me about
the koala suit... DNA that means you :P grrrrrr lol... I feel sick... yukkky... and Mike and Kristen
are together!!!! wooohooo kudos to me :) And I'm having coffeee or summink
with Allie tomorrow nite so *yay* finally get to meet the face behind the
bizarre sms.... And I've decided I'm never getting with drunk chix ever again...
dodgy.... omigod i need sleep..... i hate having to get up @ 5.30 for
work... and what's more, we're prolly selling our house but my parents won't
move any closer to city which means moving out.... both good and bad i guess
:) one more whinge.... I feel like crap.
7 September 2000
Oooookkkkkk.... I found a fish keyring.... finally :) I even walked into a
Christian bookstore looking for one.... I wonder if Dan realises what I went
thru !!! lol.... And I went out last Sunday nite and had a bloody unreal time
with TJ and one half of one of the Bec couples (I know 6 dykes called Bec and
they're all dating each other !!!) and I met up with Racheal, this chick
I'd been speaking to on the net ages ago... but hadn't heard from in a while...
and she gave me her number and we're gonna do coffee and I'm like... *coolies*
:) And then I had this really weird dream last nite (well it wasn't *that* weird
considering what I ate for dinner) in which we went to this big party at a house
in the valley, and we'd walked there, and when we got to the house, Rach and I
had a bit of a snog outside *woohoo*, but I didn't have my shoes on yet, only
socks, so I said I'd come in after I'd put my shoes on cos I didn't want to
embarass her... the dream just got stranger and stranger lol, but I've figured
out most of it, except about the shoes... had I walked to the valley in my
socks????
And work is... work... and Jude is trying to get our uniform to
be black and white, and I've only just got the spiffy sanctuary uniform which
I'll prolly have to give back once my boss gets back from China *sob* but I
*hate* black & white as a uniform, and I'm not a jolly waitress, so if I
have to wear it, I'm quitting. I mean it... lol.... And I've been doing a
bit of shopping with my mummy... lol dammit she always makes me spend sooo much
money :(.... and Mike's having a cocktail party for his 18th so I get to dress
up for that :) but I don't know what to get him for a pressie.... *sigh* And I
can't go to Livid cos it's the weekend b4 my essay is due... *growl* ahhhh
well... I have cd's. And I did my roots so my hair is all now the one
colour :) always a good look :P
26 August 2000
Hmmm... I'm probably not getting back with my ex. *sob* Pity, but anyway :) If
it's meant to happen, it will :) I met Ryou, my Japanese dyke, and she's
sooo spunky. She walks with this cute little swagger, like a guy. Heeheee.
I have a 7.30 start tomorrow... joy.... I've been thinking about who I identify
as... or rather, what. Check it out ... you might be surprised.
And the Cure are playing Livid !!! Except I'm a bit iffy about paying $70 for a
ticket, and I've a feeling it's right before my 8000 word essay is due :( and
I've a feeling, that'll be a big major last minute effort :) And it's
Danielle's birthday on Thursday, and I'm searching all over brisvegas for a fish
keyring... private joke I guess :) Fush !!! Fush !!! ok, that's enuf :P God I
miss her grin. My hair, is doing very strange things atmo... has a mind of
its own :) Work is pretty cool, I was stressing about some stuff for a while,
but that's all ok now ;) And, I'm going out tomorrow nite ;) yay :) don't know
if anyone I know will be out, but knowing how big a scabs my friends are, teehee,
free champers and bbq dinner, they'll be there !! only wish I could stay a bit
later... Ooooh !! I went out last Friday nite, with Athena and her g/f Mitch the
PE teacher lol... and someone's cousin was up from Sydney and wanted me to go
home wif her !!! Except at the time, I was still madly in love with Danielle,
and she was rather drunk.. ie she asked me did I like football 3 times in ten
minutes lol.... She's prolly a very nice person irl, and sober ! but yeah...
kinda dodgy... oooooooh and Sandra the *very cute* Swedish exchange dyke was
dumped by her g/f... *big sympathy* but hey ! she's available now *wicked
grin*....
16 August 2000
So yay ! I'm now 19, god that crept up fast. My birthday drinkies was an
interesting affair... I now know that I definitely cannot play pool.... not that
I really want to becos most of the time it's sexual politics. I think I'm
getting back with my ex... once she's broken up with her current g/f whose got
major greenies over me... *sigh* I think I'm in love with her...
can't stop thinking about her, butterflies in the tummy, that sort of
thing. And I saw photos of her son and he's soooooo gorgeous... and cheeky
:)
ummm last month... Got my uni results, got a 4 for Japanese (uh-oh) and a 6 for my linguistics subject... god I must have bullshitted my way thru that exam... bit disappointed with Jap, I expected to go down, but not drop four whole grades !!!! At least it's a wake-up call to pull my finger out of my ass and do some real work... and cut down on my hours @ Lone Pine. I got my hair cut. Really short, like a crew cut with a longer bit on top. It wasn't a very good haircut, I've learnt now never to trust anyone whose hair I don't like to cut *my* hair lol. But I LOVE having short hair. So much fun :) Mum had kittens, but then got over it, after she rang up the entire family and told them I was a lesbian. lol. I'm doing a research assignment on Lesbians in Japan, I have an 8000 word essay due in little over 2 months.... aaaaaargh. If you're a japanese lesbian, I'd love to hear from you !!! :) I saw Girl, Interrupted the other night. God it was soooo good. I've changed my mind, I do like Angelina with blonde hair. And if I could be re-incarnated, I'd be Winona, or else someone who gets to sleep with Winona lots... lol.... except I'd fatten her up a bit first.... and the other day I found this really funky Cat in the Hat shirt, which says 'I know some new tricks' and it's sooooooo cool :) I love it.
What else..... I was doing a Women in World Religions subject but I dropped out because I lost interest in it. I'm going to go back to French next year :) Il me manque... Mais je pense que ça serai facile... Parce que je suis douée lol.... And I just discovered this really cool spell-check thingo in Front Page.... shock horror, I'm too lazy to cut-code in a normal text-editor.... I just can't be bothered learning my colour codes. *blush* And my lil bro gave me Invincible Summer for my birthday, and I soooooooo like Summer Fling and the one that goes 'the consequences of falling'. It's funny how when I was younger, like 10, when I first saw KD, I thought her repulsive and ugly and yikkky. But now that I've listened to her stuff, and become more dyke-aware, I find her somewhat attractive. I think it's her voice. I love women who croon. And I love the cover of Drag. Love women in suits and slicked back hair.
5 July 2000
My results come out on Friday !! And I don't have to pay my Hecs for another two
weeks *sigh of relief*... And yesterday, whilst out shopping @ Indooroopilly,
this chick asks me 'do I want to be a hair model'... so I sit in Oscar Oscar for
like 2 hours, perving on this really cute dyke working there, whilst this newbie
blowdries my hair str8, then upstyles it in lots of knots with lots of bobbypins
and hairspray. It looked... interesting. If I'd paid like $150 to have it done,
I wouldn't have been happy, but it was free so.... lol. Then I saw Gone in 60
seconds. I was rather disappointed by the lack of Angelina Jolie in it, but I
don't really like her with blonde hair, I think she looks a bit skanky, but I
liked the long twisty things :) And tonite I'm going to see Perfect Storm with
my Mum :). I have Faith and Courage, and I sooooo like it, especially
Daddy I'm Fine ;) Pride was great fun, I finally got Odd Girl Out cds, which
I've been listening to almost non-stop .
21 June 2000
Ok so Chelsea is ancient history. God I can't believe how little
I've updated this... I guess becos hardly anyone knows about it (I refuse to
advertise til I'm happy with it) that it doesn't really matter.. but still it
makes it hard to remember all the stuff that's happened in the past 3
months.... But Saturday is Pride, and I *so* can't wait for the march and
fair day. I think it's cool that Sinead's finally come out ;) I like a
woman with an accent :) I'm on holidays now, just working, waiting for my
uni results to come out, and then next semeseter.... It's good to be able to sit
at home and watch trashy American tv... ie Jerry Springer, Ricki Lake, Judge
Judy :)
9 April 2000
Ok... So I'm maybe back with Chelsea... Interesting... I went out with her and
some of her friends last nite.. got dragged along str8 clubbing... very scary
stuff, ended up costing me $40.... sheesh... All night she's been raving
on about 'are we still friends'... I'm like yeah, why not?? She so desperately
needs to be friends with one of her exes... which I can kinda u/stand cos I've
done the whole 'eurgh did I ever do *you* ?? what was I thinking ?? ' thing
hehhe.... we go home, she's holding my hand the whole way home in the
taxi... see she said I had to behave round her friends, which I could u/stand..
but then she whinged becos she didn't get a hello kiss from me...
bizarre....
so like we get back to her place... and she kisses me... and we kiss, and it's
like there's electricity in the air... and we talk a bit about getting back
together... and she starts crying.... and it's really weird... she's had quite
enuf to drink and only ate like 6 choc mint biccies all day... so she's out of
it... and she ends up saying something like, in months time, she wants to be in
a r/ship where I'll turn around and go, Chelsea, you're fantastic, I think I
love you.... and does the whole 'everybody wants to be loved' thing... which was
soooo inner-Chelsea... a part I'd never seen before... and then the next morning
we're kinda talking.. she lets slip she's told half her friends that I'm a crap
kisser... (which is rubbish cos I've asked a few of my exes and none of
them had any probs) but I did the whole ex-bitch session with Joe et al on
Wednesday... so it's ok :) she's still a bitch tho :P
and so we kinda work stuff out... she still keeps saying that I dumped her becos
I missed my bus... which is soo not true. I broke up with her cos I couldn't
deal with her insecurity etc and the missing the bus thing just put me in a bad
mood.... plus the fact she made me use mouthwash.... mouthwash for fuck's sake
!!! how rude !!
Circa November 99
I contemplated resurrecting my
journal. But I'm not on the net everyday, and there's no point
starting one, and only writing every 4 days or
so... that's dodge. So... this is just random musings... about
chicken feet and the like ;P
I went for yum cha today for the
first time... in the Valley for some Chinese moon festival... Yes,
I work in a Chinese restaurant for god's sake, but i'm still
culturally ignorant. /me blushes. Anyhoo
I've never done yum cha, so we have all these cool dishes come
round, and we've no idea what they are, so we're just going, oh
yeah, that looks good... and somehow I find myself eating a
chicken claw.... yummmy.... lol
I went to Livid... it was waaaay good fun, except I got sunburnt and covered in mud.... But I got to see Garbage and Shirley and her accent drives me wild!!! *swoon* And we saved a girl, who got kicked in the head in moshpit... And this guy who I was moshing wif wanted me to go home, have a shower and then come back to his hotel room *as if* rofl...
I bought a trampoline !! Finally, after months of virtual tramps in #atxf, I bought one irl !! :) And it's soooo much fun !!! /me laffs.
I got the job @ Lone Pine... for those not in the know, it's a koala sanctuary just out of Brisbane. It's a pretty cool job... *big smile* even if I do have to get up at 5am to get out there... But anyway... it's fun :) So I've quit Chinese *at last* and am comtemplating quitting Coles... I'll see how the Christmas thing pans out...
I've finally finished first semester uni... but I don't know how I did yet because of IR pay disputes and teachers refusing to release results... bit of a bugger... but I hope I passed all 4 subjects... and I hope I got a 7 for Japanese : ) I actually got a 7 for Jap (woohoo !) a 5 for psych... I wanted a 6 but anyway... and a 4 and a 5 for journalism... which is pretty good considering I would have been happy with two 4's.. : )
I've come to the conclusion that I irc waaaay too much... and it's all one person's fault :P *sigh* I thought a bot was an unresponsive person the other day... sheesh. I come home from work at 6-6.30pm.. or from uni at 8-ish... hop on irc til 10-ish, go to bed, repeat * 6... sometimes tho I go out.... : ) but still.... *sigh*
I'm tired.
