WELCOME!!!

Hello and welcome to my homepage.  It doesn't look like much, not when compared to all of the flash and java anomation on other webpages.  But it satisfies my urge to be me and show myself off to the world (whether anyone see this page or not).  I hope through this page and the related links that the visitors to my page will get an idea of who I am.  To start off, I am a single gay man who lives in Hollywood, CA... I am in a growth and change period in my life.  I am trying to find out who I am now, since no one stays the same through their entire life I want to re-evaluate who I am and what I want from my life and keep moving forward.  Life is ever-changing and I continue to adapt to the world around me. Life is still so strange to me, I like meeting people and I enjoy being the center of attention (which is very odd since I grew up such a shy and insecure person).  But the experiences of my life have shaped me into a terrific person (in my opinion) who has strong and lasting friendships and a rather large extended family.  I can be sweet, funny, friendly, bitchy, rude, condescending, contradictory and pushy.  Depending on the situation all of those traits can be useful.  But generally, I am a very sweet, honest, direct and sincere person who enjoys living life and spending time with my friends.  To continue learning about me scroll down and check out the rest of my page. If I have thoroughly bored you then please show yourself to the next page.

Here I am!!!! Finally managed to upload a new pic.  This one is about a year old.  Check out the new glasses, much better than my Sally Jessy's.

I have posted a couple of pages of pics here and here.  Check them out if you like.  I will be updating them periodically.

I am a very creative person, but I always have the problem with wanting intensely to do something, but never following through.  For a variety of reasons I always find a way to avoid doing what I have always dreamed of doing.  I have read "The Artists Way" by Julia Cameron (but never seem to be able to finish it).  The book is a good tool that helps you free you inner creativity and allows you to live the creative life we are all capable of.  I love the book, but I can never seem to remain focused.  "The Artist's Way" has helped me in some ways but I know if I could finish the book I might be able to find the answers I am seeking and the direction I am looking for. I am a big volunteer with the local Gay and AIDS organizations.  I was presented with an award (by the LA Gay & Lesbien Center) as an outstanding volunteer of 2003.  I end up at the top of everyone's list when they need someone reliable.  For a while (earlier this year) I had decided to go back to school to get a degree in Psychotherapy, but through the work I do for LA Shanti (an AIDS organization) I am fulfilling that need and have decided to focus my return to college on creative pursuits instead.  I run a weekly HIV+ Men's Emotional Support Group for LA Shanti, and even though I am NOT HIV+ myself, I know I have much experience to offer to these men needing emotional support.  I actually have a few different directions to go in my life, now I just have to pick one direction (or maybe two) and give it a shot.

Here is my high school pic, I was 18 and didn't realize how cute I was.  I thought I was ugly and no one wanted me.

I am an Amateur photographer.  I have finally found my "eye" and am now finding ways to take it into new directions and allow myself to explore different areas.  I love imagining the picture in my head and watching it come to life on film.  I have mostly used digital but am trying to learn 35mm better so I can get the best of both worlds.  Digital is a good format but it doesn't beat 35mm for versatility.  I like the contrasts you get between using both mediums. I am fascinated by the male form and love to shoot nude males, but now I am moving beyond that slightly to explore more complex themes with my work.  I am currently working on a site to show off my photographic work, I hope that by doing this I can find others who share my enthusiasm.  I just need to sit my ass down and do it!!!  Which is sometimes easier said than done. I am slowly teaching myself how to use Photoshop while I work on the pictures I have already taken.  I am too slow at this, however, and need to set aside some time on a regular basis to get the work done. I wish I was wealthy so I didn't have to work.  Of course the flip side is that I could use my skills and knowledge more effectively and proactively I could easily end up wealthy and able to devote myself to the things that interest me most in life.

A rare night out for me in drag.  It was fun, but I look like Carnie Wilson before she had her stomach stapled... "BIG AS A HOUSE!!!"

The Men Currently in my life: Miguel: The guy I am currently dating...  He is lots of fun, and we enjoy doing stuff together... not ready to settle down but I am having fun! Gregorio: Intelligent, sweet, cute...  A very busy man, but a good friend.  Now if I could just convince him of how sexy he is! David: Cute, sweet, sexy...  David has the potential to be so much more in my life than he is now, I think things may be changing here soon! Wolfie: fun, sexy, interesting...  A good friend and fiercely loyal, my little brother! Nigel:  Funny, horny, kinky!!! Mario: Talented, funny, busy!!! Ray: Sexy, Hot, Smart...  Ray is hot, sexy and makes me feel special whenever we have been together...  Only two things keep him from being the special man in my life... 1.  He has a bad habit of not returning e-mails, leaving me to wonder if he is interested still.  2.  He has a husband.  If it wasn't for those things I would probably be dating him right now!! Marty: Cousin, friend, confidant...  Marty is the only gay relative have, he understands me like no one else!

I have posted a couple of pages of pics here and here.  Check them out if you like.  I will be updating them periodically.

This is an OOOOLLLDDD Pic (much like my ex), I so do not look like this anymore and that is definitely NOT my GF (or my BF)!

My JOURNAL: When I first started journaling, it was to overcome personal issues brought on (or had thrust upon me) during my last relationship.  In the past two years I have changed the format of my blog from writing about the people and events of my past.  I have decided to focus on writing about the things currently in my life that make me who I am (books,movies, music, politics, opinions, personality tics, etc...).  Sometimes I may put in a thinly veiled diatribe about something (or someone) that really irritates me or pisses me off, but since it is my blog I guess it is my prerogative. So i fyou are interested in wading through all of the thoughts I care to jot down and put on the web, please feel free to check out my blog.  I have set it up so others can post their responses or opinions directly to my original posts.  Or if you want to just say hi, you can e-mail me through the link on my blog or the link at the bottom of this page. KEN  (Ken's Pen)

THIS IS MY EX!!!  Scary, HUH!!! He actually he thought he looked good.  LOL

Favorite Music/Bands/Performers: Aerosmith, Louis Armstrong, B 52's, Blink 182, David Bowie, Cher, Creed, Dance, David Bowie, Disco, Dixie Chicks, Erasure, Elton John, KISS, Eartha Kitt, Cyndi Lauper, Madonna, Manhattan Transfer, Mozart, Offspring, Outkast, Dolly Parton, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Junior Vasquez, Aretha Franklin, Donna Summer, Diana Ross, Barry Manilow, Outkast, Eminem, Dixie Chicks, Linkin Park, Annie Lennox, Crash Test Dummies, Eurhythmics

Here is another pic from my subway series. I can never seem to find someone to take new (good) pictures of me so I am always reduced to doing pics of myself.

I am a unique and strange individual.  I'm most times contradictory, but I try to be clear and concise and honest.  I expect the same back from my friends (the honesty, that is).  My friends are my extended family and I love them completely.  They give me the emotional support I need and always know when to make me laugh. Now all I need is that perfect man (or at least perfect for me).  Someone who makes me laugh and holds me when I cry.  Who cooks breakfast for me and serves it in bed.  Who allows me to make a mistake and helps me up when I stumble.  The man who knows when to be romantic and appreciates all the little things I do for him, without having to advertise.  This man has to take the time to get to know me... He has to try and understand me... Be honest enough to tell me his feelings. I know... Impossible, right?  Well a guy can dream, can't he?

This pic was taken shortly after I had a car accident in March '03.  You can't see it here but there is a long scratch down my neck which I got when the car's airbags deployed.

I would like to thank you for visiting my homepage and  I hope that you visit again soon.  If you'd like to learn more about me, modeling for me, or you are going to be in LA and would like to meet (I love meeting/making new friends) please e-mail me with more details about your trip and how to contact you. Kshelley68@yahoo.com

BUH-BYE!!!