Emotions

Falling in love and great sex appears to go hand in hand. Being with someone that you really care about makes everything much more intense. Simple things like a kiss, holding hands, and a glance are more intense when you have feelings for the other person.

From the first moment Tabitha and I met it was very intense. Over the years we developed a very strong primary relationship. From this primary relationship we enjoy other loving and caring relationships. Children and parents, family and friends. To me it seemed logical that we could expand our sexual relationship with each other outwards also.

This was a big step for us and at the risk of destroying our primary relationship. We were both conditioned from an early age that love and sex must exist together and that sex should only occur in a monogamous relationship. Stepping beyond these boundaries meant stepping beyond years of conditioning.

Sex without love and love without sex can exist, however, Tabitha and I believe that it is not as clean cut as this. We are capable of having feelings for more than one person. The fact that we love our parents, children and others in our lives is proof of this. Why then, if we choose to have sex with someone is it wrong to also have feelings for this person.

I was lucky; Tabitha was the first to experience this with the second couple we swung with. I say that I'm lucky because I was more prepared and knew that this would happen. Eventually someone would touch a soft spot in our hearts and feelings would exist. You don't even need to have sex for this to happen.

The second time we were with them she was acting a bit strange the next morning so I decided to do some prodding. Over breakfast I started my poking and prodding to find out what was wrong. Tabitha admitted that she felt a bit lonely this morning and it was the same feeling she gets when I'm not around. She thought I wouldn't want her anymore; she was not prepared for me to understand her feelings. I took her in my arms, and explained that this was okay. She had just experienced a great evening, wonderful conversation and topped the night off with incredibly sex. It was only natural to have these feelings. We took it easy the rest of the day and I pampered her lots. From that day forward we decided that the morning after is for discussing our feelings, what we liked and what we disliked.

If your goal in swinging is to experience incredible sex, then prepare yourself. Sex can be experienced with quite a few, good sex will occur every now and then, incredible sex only occurs with those you care about. Enjoy your experiences, learn from them and grow with them. Communication is the key and never loose site of your primary relationship.