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NO Means NO
You will hear this rule quoted lots. The intent behind it is very good and well intentioned. The reality is that you must know what you are comfortable with and firmly stand your ground. You and you alone are the defender of this ground. DO NOT go any further than you feel comfortable. You'll find that this changes over time and this is quite normal as you become more comfortable. Never feel bad about saying NO. If someone says NO to you, be respectful and do not be pushy.
The swinging community is very small and everyone takes great steps to help each other avoid bad situations. If you are pushy and not respectful of others, the word will get around.
Say Thank You
One of the things that we appreciated very early on was getting a call saying "Thanks, we enjoyed being with you two last night". The first couple we were with did this and we really appreciated it. As a result, we always try to treat couples we meet the same way. We all have egos and we all enjoy hearing how we are appreciated. Treat others this way and it will come back to you, promise.
Cleanliness
It's simple. Be clean, be fresh, take a shower, comb your hair and brush your teeth. If you don't want anyone to want you, do none of the above. Remember, your spouse is with you because they love you...anyone else, well, don't push your luck.
Attire
Remember, you're trying to impress the other couple and how you look sets the first impression. If you want couples to be interested, dress in nice clean clothes. All too often we see the woman is the one that makes all the effort. You're a couple, if you both dress well; you'll be amazed at the results.
Be Prepared
Think like a boyscout/girlscout and be prepared. The first few times you'll feel like an optimitstic teenager lugging this stuff with you but you never know when you will need it. At a minimum carry condoms and breath mints or gum. If you're really optimistic carry lingerie or a robe, toothbrush and other overnight kinds of things. Of course, you probably won't get much sleep.
Alcohol
Alcohol is okay as long as you drink in moderation. Very often, a couple of drinks will relax everyone and make the situation much more comfortable. Be careful not to over-indulge, men especially. You may think you turn into the man of steel but physically it's not happening.
Drugs
Most swingers do not use drugs. If you do, be open about it and let the other couple decide if they are comfortable or not.
Entertaining a Couple in Your Home
When you're having someone over, it's the little things that count. A clean house, clean towels, clean sheets, etc. Remember, you're trying to impress the other couple and your home is a reflection of you. We find that soft music, candles, a fire in the fireplace, an erotic movie all help set the mood. A great ice breaker in the winter is to heat a comforter in the dryer and lay it on the floor. Then, you can start off by offering the other couple a massage. You'll find that any nervousness just melts away.
House Parties
If you've been invited to a house party, make sure you let them know if you will be coming. This makes it a lot easier on the host to plan what they need. Arrive on time as a couple and leave as a couple. Remember to thank the hosts for inviting you.
Smoking
A large percentage of swingers are smokers. If you are and you are with a non-smoking couple be sensitive to their wishes. You may not notice the smell but they will. This is also a time when breath mints or gum should be used.
