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Shrinks love the term normal and make a fortune from people who don't "feel normal". What is considered normal changes to fit what the current acceptable trend is in society. They come up with wonderful little grids and charts to figure out where to pigeon hole us. At the end of the day...they don't really have a clue.
First off, the term normal pushes me right over the edge when it comes to rambling and pontificating. To me, and I think generally everyone in the real world, views that the opposite to normal is abnormal. I sure don't consider Tabitha or myself abnormal. Personally, I prefer the term average.
Average is simple, being average means that who you are is pretty much the same as Joe average across the street. In our daily lives, Tabitha and I are pretty much average. We get up, go to work, work all day, come home and do it again the next day. Pretty average... but it pays the bills.
The vast majority of couples in the lifestyle live average daily lives. As a result, when you go to a swing club, don't be shocked when you meet average people. This tends to be a surprise for most new swingers and was for use when wet attended a swing club for the fist time. Both Tabitha and I were expecting to encounter the key in the bowl crowd from the 60's.
Once you enter this world and start talking with others, you will find that swingers are far from sexually average. Their interests are varied. Some are voyeurs or exhibitionists, others enjoy full swap or group swinging. Trying to pigeonhole this group would have a shrink spinning in circles. Then you get into the bisexual side of swinging and swingers. Kinsey's scale, while not designed for swinging, tries to explain and help individuals figure out where they fit in.
A pigeonhole approach that can work for an instant in time but does not account for mood, curiosity, situation, experiences, etc. There are other scales that attempt to explain an individuals sexuality but when you try to explain it properly, the scale quickly becomes as complex as the individual that you are trying to describe. Good luck deciphering them.
Kinsey's scale of homosexual & heterosexual attraction:
0 exclusively heterosexual 1 predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual 2 predominantly heterosexual but more than incidentally homosexual 3 equally heterosexual and homosexual 4 predominantly homosexual but more than incidentally heterosexual 5 predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual 6 exclusively homosexual So what do we do? Well, for a start, accept that you're not sexually average. Lots of individuals are not average in one way or another, which's what makes us interesting.
As long as what you are doing does not hurt others, does not hurt yourself, you enjoy what you're doing, and you're learning and growing with your experiences; then enjoy you're uniqueness.
Other interesting tidbits from the Kinsey reports:
males females have masturbated 90% 62% have had pre-marital intercourse 85% 50% have had extramarital intercourse 30-45% 26% have had at least one homosexual encounter 37% 13% Other Resources: Bisexual Women in Alberta - discussion group and more.
bi.org - Serving the world bisexual community.
Loving More - Polyamory information site.
Open Marriages - A look at open marriages and couples that live them.
Polyamory - A marvelous explination of the lovestyles called Polyamory. A must read to those that embrase and live the life to those that just want a true understanding.
