Rules, Rules & More Rules

Every swinging couple has their rules and you should always ask what they are and respect them. This will help you enjoy your swinging experiences and avoid unexpected surprises in the heat of the moment.

We are no different, we have our basic rules and we have special rules. Below is a description of one of our special rules and how it came about.

 

No Dance Rule

Ryan and I had previous discussions about the fact that a lot of the women in swinging are bi-sexuals that prefer to dance with women. This brings up the point that the term bi-sexual has as many meanings to different people as there are days in the year! But, for this section, the only type we need talk about are the ones that only dance with women, and give guys the cold shoulder. Normally this not a problem or concern to anyone else EXCEPT: they have husbands that are freely enjoying the attentions of all those other guys’ wives! So the net effect would be that I would be getting tons of attention from the husbands, but Ryan was NOT getting any attention from their wives. How can that be fair, I ask?

To deal with this situation, Ryan came up with a rule called the No Dance Rule. Very simply put, if the male is dancing with me in a less than casual way and his wife is not reciprocating with Ryan, the No Dance Rule comes into play.

So, this night was the night that the rule became effective. Ryan decided that he would not allow Thomas to have any attention from me, because he had asked Katrina twice to dance. On both occasions that night she turned him down, saying she was too busy (she was the DJ that night) then proceeded to dance with some girls. So shortly after we discussed that I was not going to dance with Thomas anymore, Thomas asked me to dance to his favorite song.! Because I hadn't yet had time to think about what I would say, I simply told Thomas the truth. That Ryan had asked me not to dance with him because Katrina had turned Ryan down twice. Thomas went directly to Katrina and had a few words with her. She immediately approached Ryan apologizing and explained again that she just didn’t have the time, and that it was nothing personal. Neither Ryan nor I believe this quick cover off. Ryan felt uncomfortable with the fact that this put him on the spot with Katrina, so he said, "Oh that damn Tabitha leading Katrina to believe that somehow it was my fault." I felt hurt and betrayed by Ryan's comment because I thought that I'd done what he asked me too, but now wanted the "blame" to be on my shoulders alone. We argued about it all the way home.

I say I was just being honest and forthright for the following reasons:

• I had been discussing Ryan’s rule with Thomas on the dance floor earlier, and he had actually seen the value of the rule at that time, although I doubt that he had even considered that it might apply to himself. So me enforcing the rule on him was not just a shot out of the dark. He knew what I was talking about and why.
• I had agreed with Ryan, but it was his rule, so he should take the credit and blame for it along with myself.
• I felt quite proud that I had backed up my man on an issue that clearly was important to him, and felt good that I had done so in such a frank and honest, forthright way.

Ryan says – In my defense, Tabitha is very hard line. When she has made up her mind to say something, she does not sugar coat it. I love her honesty but it did take me some time to get used to. I have found that over the years she has placed me in some very interesting situations because of her brutal honesty and this was one of them. I was caught off guard, again, and that is the best response I could come up with. I don’t like hurting some else’s feelings and unfortunately, I’m the one that sugar coats things.

During our discussions about the night, Ryan and I discussed how to possibly deal with those guys that continuously grope me on the dance floor. The usual scenario is when a guy asks me to dance, we get on the dance floor and he starts out caressing me, which is fine, and sooner or later some guy gets brave and grabs my breasts. I dislike this because I prefer when I am asked, and so I grab their hand and move it away or use my elbow to brush their hand away. The problem then is, the guy is now confused as to what I want, and doesn't have the energy; or doesn't care to figure it out. Then they usually finish the dance off in a huff and never ask me to dance again. I needed assistance from an expert!

Ryan had danced with a girl at Halloween and said that she had grabbed his hand when he touched her breasts, but she said "I didn’t give you permission yet". Then she waited a short time and put his hand on her breast. This excited him greatly and he said he found it better because then he knew the scoop with her.

I argued that guys I’ve been with in the past hate that kind of treatment. They called it prick teasing in my dating days. The guys I knew always got extremely angry when I did it, so I stopped.

Ryan said that he finds it very sexually stimulating and it gets him hard. He loves it because it is mentally stimulating, but it can only be used on guys like him not on your average Joe. So, if in fact I consider him to be the type of guy I want to play with, then it would make sense that this would work. You tell me, am I behind or am I ahead on this one? I will just have to try it out on my own next time and find out!