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Having a third in bed is a fantasy that most couples have and several have explored. Very often it is with two guys. Men; as always; are not in short supply, women on the other hand are rare and in demand. Also, for first time swingers, this seems to be easier for them to deal with.
We discussed our interest in swinging with a single woman with a few of our swinging friends. They all had the same reaction, DON’T. After getting over the initial reactions, we probed further. Reasons varied but typically hit on the same theme. Single women are jealous, they want to take your man, they want to take your woman, or they are emotionally unstable.
Unfortunately we both love to learn our lessons the old fashioned way. Probably the only thing we do the old fashioned way. We had to find out for ourselves.
We communicated with several single women. They were very evasive, non-committal and unreliable when we managed do get a commitment from them. Persistence paid off though.
The first time we met and played, it was great. The three of us enjoyed mutual explorations. Three people in harmony, sharing and enjoying. Everything went well, better than we had hoped for given feedback from our friends. This was like a well-orchestrated concert and yet no one person was the conductor.
The second time we met. Still very fun but more attention was given to the single. She needed some emotional attention and comfort. That was okay. Both of us had discussed going into this that we did not want a purely sexual relationship and that we were okay giving a bit more. The fact that this time she needed some attention, well everyone has his or her proverbial "ups and downs". All three seemed enjoyed and we made a night of our play.
The third time we met. The emotional demands were much stronger. So much so, that we were sacrificing our own needs for hers. The physical needs were also focussed strictly on her. She had adopted a very much, I’m in demand, you please me attitude. This did not sit well with either of us. We discussed it at length. The wisdom and warning of our swinging friends was manifesting itself before our eyes. We were sacrificing too much of ourselves. This was quickly becoming an unfulfilling experience. Our mutual decision was cut her loose and let her be someone else’s frustration.
We have only had one experience with a single male and that was in a group context at New Years. We are interested in exploring that further but seek the right individual. We also continue our search for a single female but as most of you know or will learn, there are very few out there.
As with all of our swinging experiences we have adopted the philosophy that if we stop learning and enjoying, we stop swinging. To ensure that we get the most out of every experience we have come up with a ritual that we follow every time:
- Guidelines – We decide what we want and how we are going to fulfill that experience.
- Experience – We play with a individual, couple or more that we are both comfortable with.
- Discuss – The next day is spent talking about what happened, what we liked and what we disliked.
- Adjust –What could we change to make it a better experience and do we want to do it again.
"There are too many experiences in life for one individual to have and learn from, it is easiest to learn from the experience of others."
Happy swinging
Tabitha and Ryan
