So Hard
By Danny Johnson
Sometimes
I try so hard
to be an expert
at love.
I've searched
crusaded
all my life
for one
who could make it
easy.
Lovers come
Lovers go
they never said
"I love you"
though...
Time after time
my heart was
a snowglobe
shaken with fury
shattered
and drained
until it was dry
and lonely
again.
"Next time
will be different
He will love me
and hold me
eternal
and I will never cry
myself to sleep at night
because
It will be different...
next time..."
Monotony
makes its blind
march to the sea
suicidally
I give myself
to love,
love shits on me...
The perfect guy
comes along
and for a moment
there is potential
but he passes me by
he does not look back
for fear of
becoming a pillar
of salt...
Rejection
Misconception
Avoidance
Regret
Why must my love
be slave
to things
I should forget?
I struggle
forward
blindly
eagerly seeking
suicidally breathing
looking for love.
But it is
so hard...
