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Jan’s Page! |
About Jan
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I 'came out' as Judy March 1999. Though I always felt from youth there was a feminine side to my personality, I never permitted myself to express feminine qualities. I don’t feel like I have split personalities, just one person (basically feminine) as my real self. I believe God made me complete though I do not understand all the issues in my life right now. At this time, I am transitioning to live full time as a woman. Eventually I would like to have gender reassignment surgery. The last few months have been great just being me. Everyone knows in the world. I have met with mixed acceptance. I still have a long way to go with years of hard work.
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I love-love-love to shop for women’s clothing. I spend a fortune on new clothes, and Electrolysis. My favorite look is Professional Office and County Casual. Oh yess, I love evening wear too. Shoes are also a fav’ of mine. As of, Late 2000, I now have the confidence to go anywhere in public. This includes women's restrooms and dressing rooms. The feeling is great. I can honestly say I feel more comfortable now as Jan in public. I am on a weight loss program. I weigh about 185lbs down from 220. I would like to get down to about 175. I love-love-love to shop for women’s clothing. I spend a fortune on new clothes, and Electrolysis. My favorite look is Professional Office and County Casual. Oh yess, I love evening wear too. Shoes are also a fav’ of mine. As of, Late 2000, I now have the confidence to go anywhere in public. This includes women's restrooms and dressing rooms. The feeling is great. I can honestly say I feel more comfortable now as Jan in public. The holidays took their toll on my weight. Hormones have also hindered my weight loss. I have been on hormones since spring of last year (2000). I weight about 184. That’s about an increase of 10 lbs. From last year. My body has change from the hormones. I now have a bigger butt and small breast. I am an ‘A’ size and growing. I was married ( 14 years) and recently divorced. I recently told my wife about my feminine side and cross-dressing. She was not too crazy about the idea. She just could not accept me as a women. I can't say I blame her, after all John was her husband. She forced to make a decision to live with her or totally deny ‘my real self’. I had to go. I still love her but cannot live a lie of hypocrisy going through purges and then falling back into what comes natural for me. If only she would accept me, then we could be together. Since I moved out (May 99) I have felt a new freedom to be me! I have never felt so emotion and expectation for the future. |
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So what am I doing now (Jan 2001)?? I am working toward going fill time for my 'Real Life Test' The most difficult and scary part is my Job! I just got my review (Jan 2001). They know all about me and they still gave me a good review. So, I think I have a green light for summer 2001. Right now I am going through more changes on the inside. I really want to get away from this surrealistic feeling. My ears were pierced October 17th 1999. I started hormones March 20th, 2000. Wow, what pleasant changes occurred. My body fat and skin have changed. Also I have started breast development. I am doing about 2 hours of electrolysis a week. Believe me, it’s like torture! I have met so many wonderful people the last few months. Most are very nice down-to-earth regular people who have various professions. Luv Jan 
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Coming out is a step-by-step process. I don’t consider my inward self transitioning. I am simply aligning my outward person to match my inward self. I grew up as a man in a man’s world. I grew up being what everyone else wanted me to be. Though the outward transformation is difficult, I have found peace with myself and others around me.
©Copyright 2000-2001 Judy’s/Jan's Place