Esprit '99, as always, was held in Port Angeles, Washington. This year's Esprit was the 10th year it was held in Port Angeles and it was very moving to hear how Esprit has grown and how the town of Port Angeles has grown along with Esprit over the years. Yes, Port Angeles is a small community with a strong logging heritage. And yes, everyone's natural reaction (mine too) was that such a town would be a frightening place to hold a gender conference. However, since the first time it was held in Port Angeles, the sponsoring gender organizations have made sure that the mayor, police department, and businesses were on board. This was plainly obvious during our stay.

As we drove up to the Doubletree Hotel where Esprit was held, we were greeted by a large banner hung over the hotel entryway. The young man at the check-in desk was polite and friendly and didn't care in the least what we looked like or what our names were or weren't. All during our stay the hotel staff was effusively pleasant, giving us compliments, greeting us in the hallways everywhere we went, striking up conversations with us, and helping in any way possible. The manager of the hotel greeted all Esprit attendees with a nice letter and attended one of our luncheons.

The hotel is situated on the waterfront and nothing could surpass the combination of bright sunshine, crying seagulls, ferry horns, ocean air, and the sight of mountains lifting out of the water in the distance.

The rooms were pleasant and although at first I was a little hesitant about sharing a room, it made financial sense and I decided that I really needed to let my hair down, so to speak, and give a stranger a chance to see me as I really am. My roommate Jennifer turned out to be a real treasure with an offbeat sense of self-deprecating humor. She served as a deep mirror through which I could talk and think about matters on my mind. I recommend the roommate approach to anyone considering such a conference; just don't take it too far and try to pack 4 girls into a room...you'll never make it anywhere on time!

I really liked the pre-moistened makeup remover pads that were placed in our bathrooms. The hotel admitted that they were simply trying to avoid all the makeup ruining their towels, but the pads were great! Unfortunately, we would always run out. My only gripe about the hotel was that none of the rooms had full length mirrors. C'mon guys...get a clue...

The local newspaper did a story on Esprit. I was present when the reporter and photographer showed up. Fortunately, the paper had been through the drill enough times in previous years and knew never to photograph anyone without explicit permission. As it was, I was asked if I wanted to be photographed during a makeover but I declined. The paper sold out pretty quickly. If anyone has a copy of the article, please...I want to see it!

The day the paper came out I noticed a police car parked in the hotel parking lot for most of the evening. There wasn't any trouble that I was aware of, I think it was just the police doing the crime prevention thing. It was a reassuring gesture, for certain.

On a gorgeous and sunny Saturday, several of us went shopping en femme at a small department store called Maurice's in town. We all remarked how freeing it was to be walking down the street in the daylight with no worries. When we got to the store, the girls who worked there were bubbly and friendly and gave us the same attention and access to the women's dressing rooms as all the GG's. I ended up trying on a slew of outfits but only ended up buying one...a formal evening gown. It was the most strangely constructed dress I'd ever seen...a side zipper, an inner lining, crossover straps...it took me forever to figure out how to even put the thing on. When I finally got out to show it, everyone's response was enthusiastic and the girl who worked at Maurice's mentioned to me how much she loved the dress and that she couldn't figure out how to get into it either.

Starting last year (I think), Esprit opened the evening dance portion of the Saturday formal to the locals. A number of local people showed up, including all of the Esprit vendors, representatives of local businesses supporting Esprit, and many townsfolk. In what was otherwise a delightful and joyfully bittersweet evening, I was saddened by one of the things I saw. I remember walking up past the balcony where many of the locals were sitting and sipping drinks. Most of them seemed quite happy to be there, enjoying the live swing band, engaged in animated conversation, or just taking a rest from the last dance number. I saw one man sitting by himself in the corner nursing a drink. I don't know if he was an admirer, if he was longing for missed opportunities, or what. He just seemed very sad and distant. I was rushing to get my yearbook photo taken before the photographer closed shop and the next time I checked, he was gone. Sometimes I wonder if I could have stopped to say something, if just perhaps I could have sparked something in him...perhaps a realization, perhaps a release of grief, perhaps just brighten his day with a smile. I've suffered from too many missed opportunities and tragedies of inaction of my own...I've decided that (when it's appropriate) I'm going to try a little harder to reach out...the worst thing that could happen is that we exchange casual greetings...the best thing is that I might profoundly change someone's life for the better.

The formal had to be held at the Elks Club this year because Esprit had outgrown the banquet room at the Doubletree. As another sign of how well the town accepts Esprit, the word apparently got out that the Doubletree was getting too crowded and someone from the Elks Club approached the Esprit committee about considering a change of venue. After a tour of the building, it was a done deal. The Elks Club is an old building with a lot of character and a spacious dance floor. And as you might expect, there are Elk heads mounted all over the walls. From what I've been told, some city officials are using Esprit as a reason to lobby for the construction of a serious convention center in Port Angeles. That notion just puts the biggest smile on my face...

Were there any negative experiences? Of course, it wouldn't be real life without them, I suppose. Fortunately, the negative experiences were few and far between and of a variety that I could easily handle at this time in my life. As we walked around town, we'd get an occasional whistle from a patron inside a bar. While we were shopping some adolescent boys hung out on a staircase looking out over the shopping district and hooted at some of us walking down the street. On the ferry ride home one lady couldn't quite comprehend what she was seeing and spent a lot of time doing Silly Putty faces. But, for 5 straight days, that was about all that I can remember.

And one last thing that I heard from some of the local women...for years they had let their appearances and presentation suffer, partly to deal with the difficult realities of rural living, partly because the men in the town didn't treat them with much respect. But some of them openly appreciated how we opened the door to them once again to have some fun, to dress playfully, and to enjoy themselves as women, not as flannel-shirted female versions of the men in town. I guess the message there was that even as women, they suffered from stereotypes applied by the community which prevented them from being themselves.

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