Who is Traci? That's a good question. I'm just starting to discover that myself.

After 37 years of trying to do the "right" thing and conforming to the expectations of family and society, I've finally started on a journey of self discovery. In getting to this point I've suffered through 20 years of depression ranging from mild to severe. Don't get me wrong, there were some high spots in those years but there wasn't a single year without a depressive episode. Many years were marred with suicidal thoughts. An unsuccessful (obviously or I wouldn't be writing this) attempt in 1991 put me in therapy. Even though I'd tried to kill myself, I still couldn't come out and tell the therapist what was going on in my mind. In January/February of 1998, I was again on the verge of taking the final curtain. I finally decided suicide wasn't the answer so I came out to my wife and started therapy in March. My wife's reaction wasn't what I'd hoped for and so we are now divorced and she has primary custody of our two boys. Since I admitted to myself that I am a cross-dresser, things have gotten a lot better for me. The depression has greatly decreased and my confidence in myself is returning. While this journey has been painful it has also relieved a lot of pain. Since I started looking into myself I've had more relief and fun than I've had in years. Right now I'd like to find a female friend to share my time with. Someone who I can talk to and who can accept me as I am. May 2000 - Well, I'm not looking for a female friend to spend time with anymore. All my time is wonderfully occupied. By the grace of God, I've found the most incredible women on this planet and we are now engaged to be married. September 2001 - Well, we are MARRIED!!!! It is so incredible and I am so lucky. I thank God every day for this wonderful woman in my life.