What makes a great guy great? Well that depends on who you're asking and what situation you're asking them in and who's listening to the response. Goatees and six-packs and dimples and tan-lines are great, don't get me wrong, but if you were to ask me that question at any given moment, here's what I might say (in no particular order)…

-Out of the closet and into the streets!! Being a politically active faggot may be a bit much to ask, but having a good grasp of your sexuality and not being afraid to express it is another matter entirely, and one prerequisite for any possible suitor out there. Trying so hard to lead a dual life leaves most closeted gay men without any lives at all. Therefore I can say that while I can appreciate and understand the factors that contribute to a man's spending a large chunk of his adulthood as a closet-case, I can say with utmost certainty that if that's the case, then he has no business attempting to carry on a relationship with a guy like me.

-Intimacy and commitment aren't foreign concepts to him or the biggest words in his vocabulary. Being with me shouldn't just be about the incredible mind-numbing sex J or my masterfully administered massages…there should be depth and breadth in our interactions with ample room for us to grow.

-Fitness, not fanaticism. If a guy is devoted to the gym, he can't be devoted to me. Eating right, staying active and steering clear of drugs and other unhealthy habits ought to be enough for my guy. Besides, a healthy body is one that does what you want it to do when and how you want it done, (whether that activity be aerobic, gymnastic, isometric or sexual in nature) …NOT a body that makes all sorts of extreme demands and requires more and more time and energy to maintain (kind of like a good relationship)

-His brains should complement his brawn, mens sanis in corpore sano…I want a man who's not afraid to spend a Friday night at home with a good book while the rest of the boys parade around town into the wee hours. That's not to say he should have his nobel prizes ready for my inspection upon the second date, I just want to make sure that there's a meeting of the minds in addition to a meeting of the hearts in our eventual relationship…and that doesn't necessarily make him a thinker instead of a doer either….the well-educated man and the smart man are differentiated by the dynamic and creative ways a smart guy implements his education on a daily basis.

-A gay man's libido should be tempered with a certain degree of domesticity. Eventually, I forsee myself living happily with a cozy little family of my own…my partner, perhaps a dog or two, our children, etc. It's somewhat of an ideal, I know, so don't get caught up in all the myriad of different decisions and events it will take to get there…just keep it in mind, please.

-All gay men are said to have a certain Peter Pan complex anyhow, but regardless of just how old this guy is, he should be young at heart. (ewwwww…that's the most cliché thing I've said so far, isn't it?) Learning from the past is a great idea, but without a certain amount of hope for the future, no man can hope to achieve his goals in life, be they modest or extravagant.