"Surely, whoever speaks to me in the right voice, I will follow...." Madonna

It is my belief that the leather community is one of the most misunderstood subcultures of the gay community. Although I have been in the leather community for years, I do not claim to be an expert. Mainly because there are too many facets within this subculture...ask anyone how many "hankie codes" there are and maybe, you will begin to understand. "Leather" has become an umbrella term, if you will, for Bondage and Discipline, Sado-Masochism, Fetishists, etc. We are identified, not only by the gender of who we choose to love, but are further separated by what we engage in. These things are normal to us, although they do not fit in the "norm" of society as a whole.

People get involved in the above things for their own reasons. They may be bored with what they consider to be "vanilla" sex. They may have psycho-social issues that they need to deal with and the leather community offers them an outlet. Although controlling another person sexually is appealing to me, I would not get involved in the S/M aspect of causing the person to be in pain. At this point, I have no need for that.

In trying to understand this part of the community, I asked a friend to explain to me why he involved himself in accepting pain from another person. My friend is an extremely intelligent person who I respect. His response was, "Because Pain is something I can process and make sense of..." If you are not in the leather community, you may think, "Who in their right mind would want pain?"

In this world, this horrible, wacky, wonderful world, we see horrors and wonders. Often, we see and hear of more horrors and wish the world was a better place. We feel helpless. We don't understand why things are they way they are. Many of us will not use blind faith in religious dogma to answer our questions. Apparently, religion is not the answer for many of us (although there are several gay churches nationwide and the Metropolitan Community Church was founded by Troy Perry, who has been involved in the leather community).

Having been told we are greater sinners than others, we have turned away from our higher power too. This leaves us with secular solutions to our mental and spiritual well-being. So, if my friend wants to experience pain because it is one thing in his world that puts perspective on everything else...so be it. He doesn't drink, so he won't kill anyone driving...He doesn't smoke cigarettes, so he won't raise insurance rates...He doesn't smoke pot or do drugs...He doesn't harm anyone...He doesn't criticize or prejudge others....He doesn't lie, cheat or steal...SO I ASK YOU: Who is in their right mind?

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