Apartment For Rent

A proper man met a beautiful woman and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. So they did. Before he left, he told her he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "Rent For Apartment".
On the way to the office he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following note:

Dear Madam,
Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $250 for rent for your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that:
1. it had never been occupied
2. that there was plenty of heat
3. that it was small enough to make me cosy and at home.
Last night however I found that it had previously been occupied,
that there wasn't any heat,
and that it was entirely to large.

Upon receipt of the note, the woman immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note:

Dear Sir,
First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please don't blame the land lady.

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