Gay Guide to Patong Beach,Phuket,Thailand

So!! ...... What else can I tell you?

Mmmmmm! ...... Well!!! ...... Quite a lot more! Possibly about where to go on the beach? ....... Actually the only place to be is in front of the white Beach Patrol and Rescue tower (you can't miss it!) and on the terrace of the Hotel "The Beach" just a few meters to the right (second building with the sea behind you). This is where you can see all the beautiful boys that you met the night before (now in a vertical position!) playing volleyball virtually every afternoon, and remember it's hot work punching a ball over a net dressed only in a tight fitting tanga slipso don't forget to invite someone "Short and Hot" to the terrace for something "Long and Cool" !! I spent many an enjoyable day wandering back and forth from my vantage point (watching the boy's!) on the beach to the terrace and believe me the food and ice cold drinks were not my only reason!! (I don't know who takes on the young waiters there but he certainly has an eye for talent !!). I heard later that the owner is the same owner of "Black and White" The Music Factory!! .... which possibly explains why he has some really cute waiters working on the terrace bar.

One thing that is very noticeable in Patong Beach is the cleanliness of the beach itself ..... and one very early morning I found out how!! Beach Cleaners complete with brushes, shovels and rubbish bags clean up everything from paper and cans left behind by the tourists to flotsam, seaweed and driftwood.

........... and while we are still on the beach! ..... well !!! ... I should actually say "Back on the beach!", because it's now nearly midnight! and the volleyball game has finished, but "other" nocturnal games are only just starting in the darkness of the terrace area's near to the slipway to the left of the beach patrol tower (with the sea behind you). . . . . . . . and if you can't find it? . . . . . . .
Just follow your ... Mmm! ... (better still, just follow the boys!).

Getting around . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Luckily the traffic in Patong Beach isn't anything like it is in this photo that I took (on a quiet day!) outside the World Trade Center in Bangkok!! .... (although a helicopter would be handy sometimes to quickly cross the main road in Patong Beach when you see some really cute number on the other side!!).

The Tuk-tuk ......a great little "open air" taxi that whisks you from virtually anywhere ...... to where you want to go, very reasonably priced (ask first!) ...... and hold on to your seat (or better still the cute guy sitting next to you!) or you might end up sliding (with your legs in the air!) out the open back!

Motorbike Taxi!! .....For that short, quick ....... and often fun journey!....... with the added "extra" of being able to hold on to the driver (purely for safety reasons "of course"!), and the price, (it cost's more to walk!). If you are either "renting" or just riding on a motorbike/moped it is compulsory to wear a helmet so as you can see in this photo!! (naughty, naughty mister policeman!!).

........ and don't worry about being able to find either a Tuk-tuk or a motorbike taxi ....... they will find you!, so if you think that everyone seems to be "tooting" at you as they pass ........... it's not that "hot ass" that you are parading along the pavement (Well!! ... not always!).

A longer journey ..... like getting from the airport can be taken in an "airport limousine" (sounded sheik but it looked more like a taxi to me!) and it is important to ask what the complete journey will cost before you get in, but look around because some are considerably cheaper than others.

DAVID OUI TAXI SERVICE

The guys from Connect introduced me to a very friendly guy who runs his own taxi business and is situated right in the middle of the Paradise Center at 141/14 Paradise Complex - Telephone 344080 or mobile 01-691 1817. You can ask him to show you around the whole Island or book your return trip to the airport (Book early!!) and remember to leave yourself enough cash because you must pay "Airport Tax" (500 bht for International flights) before departing!

Car and Motorbike/Moped rental .....

A great way of seeing much more of the country than only the area between your accommodation and the beach is to rent. But!! ....... I would personally advise you to look for a reputable rental agency as it seems that virtually anyone can rent out anything on wheels! Insurance is very important as accidents can sometimes get you into some really deep water! I rented a great air-conditioned car for a couple of days at "VIA RENTACAR" 189/6 Rat-u-thit Road, Tel/Fax 66 (76) 341660 (5 minutes walk from the Paradise Complex on your left just past the crossing of Bangla road). They had very competitive rates and the insurance was official. You can even e-mail the boss (Mike White) for more information in English before you set off if you want.

The Boy's won't be the only Hot things you get (whoop's! .. I nearly wrote "in your mouth"!)...... what I mean is The wonderful Thai food! and believe me, ....... It's Hot!! ..... but you can always ask for a less pungent dish if you are a beginner (like me!). Being very adventurous (as I am) I tried Thai at every opportunity (Ohhh! naughty, naughty!! ... I'm still talking about the food!) and I spent many an enjoyable and very interesting evening in the open-air "Food Market" just a few minutes from the Paradise Complex.

........ and if you are still feeling like a bit (and who isn't!?) in the early hours of the morning when you stagger out a club there is a great 24 hour Thai food market next to the 24 hour supermarket 50 meters on the right when you leave Paradise. We all seem to either read about or hear from friends about not "eating on the street" but when I think back at what I had in my mouth whilst I was in Thailand!! (I'm still talking about food!!) .......... and I'm still here (with my mouth watering!).You will also see that some of the best things to take a nibble of can be found on a motorbike!! (the food, Oh!, oh!). Ok!, standards are possibly different to "back home" .... but did you really want to travel thousands of kilometers to end up in Mc'Donalds? ...... Be adventurous!! ... Enjoy!! and believe me Thai food is a lot cheaper than eating European food ..... and a lot more fun!

Neil October 1999