THE WOODCUTTER

Part 1 [02/21/2000]

It was one of those summer days when you looked forward to the end of the day. I finished work at 5pm and got into my car to go home. We just had a ten minute summer rain which had ended only about an hour ago. The sun was out and there were barely any clouds to be seen. I decided to take the back road home because it was so nice out. Working in the city, the back road meant that it was not a main route but there was still plenty of traffic; so the ride was slow enough that I was able to enjoy the late afternoon air.

I passed by a few old farmers fields which filled my car with the scent of wet hay. It reminded me of my boyhood days on the farm. It has always been a favourite scent of mine and it wasn't often that you would get to enjoy it; the weather had to be just right and with just the perfect amount of rain could create that sweet smell.

When I left work I was in a big hurry to get home and now as I drove through the rural area I suddenly felt relaxed and was actually enjoying the stop and go traffic.

I came upon an intersection in the road; one of very few and was about 4 cars back in line. While sitting and waiting for my turn to go through the intersection I just sat and enjoyed the surroundings. My radio was playing just the right music and I could have sat there all day.

Through the intersection on the right side was a recycling center for old trees. The city would cut down trees that had died or damaged by storms or whatever. They would cut them into 4 or 5 foot pieces and bring them to the center and just dump them on the gound. Open to the public, anyone could go there and take as much as they wanted. Only problem is that the small stuff goes first and fast and all that is left are huge trunks of wood. Most about 12 to 18 inches in diameter and some up to 3 feet thick. You had to bring a chainsaw to cut them smaller or they were too heavy to lift.

I was watching the center and noticed 3 cars were stopped inside. There were a few people milling about but I was too far away to get a good look at any of them. Just before I got to the intersection I noticed one of the cars were leaving. As it pulled to the exit it made me look and as I did I noticed that one of the people in the center was an oldish looking man. I didn't get a 'good' look at him but the image of a sexy silverfox rummaging through piles of wood was intriguing enough that I slowed down and pulled over. I was stopped on the side of the road, just past the entrance. I could see quite clearly that the man I saw was indeed a silverfox but he was turned away from me so I couldn't see his face.

I like a kind face with sparkling eyes and a jolly smile. So, for me, a man with those features is irrestible. I'd always loved older men and hadn't met very many. Being in business and taking society's attitude into account, I had long accepted the fact that I would probably be in my 60's before I would find a man to settle down with. To me it was a fact of life and so therefore I knew hardly anyone well enough to even consider a relationship. So the one night stands and casual sex was pretty much the norm. But this was different somehow.

I've had opportunities at strange times before but this was totally strange. I sat there in my car watching this stranger and I just had to see his face. I turned around and drove into the center; passing by the man as I went in. He was unbelievably handsome.

I quickly parked my car and stepped out. I pretented to search for a log or something. I don't know why but I figured that I needed to act as if I was there looking for wood. Really, who cares what I'm doing there. The only other people there were a man and his wife and 2 kids. They kids were about 6 and 7 and were running around. That kept the parents busy enough that they didn't have any time to watch what I was doing anyway.

I maneuvered my way through the piles of logs and slowly got closer and closer to the man. I was watching his every move. He had a chainsaw with him but it was sitting next to his car. He must have been there a while. It looked like he had already finished cutting a few of the big logs into pieces. He had started to split the logs with an ax and had maybe two or three done already.

The earlier rain had made the humidity skyrocket in the 85 degree heat. I could see that he was sweating quite a bit and was full of bits of sawdust that stuck to him, making the white hair on his arms shine in the sun.

I timed my steps so that I would be near enough to talk to him at the same time he was in between swings of the ax. I didn't want to make it seem too obvious that I was interested in him. After all, he had a big ax and you never know. I'd hate to have him chase me away. Even if its only one or two people who would see it, it is always humiliating to be shooshed away. It happens. I don't like it.

I was close enough to speak to him and scuffed my feet a bit to get his attention. As I started to say "hello, hot work ain't it" he turned his head to look at me. He was bent over picking up the ax and turned his head toward me without saying a word. He wasn't smiling and seemed a bit perturbed. He lifted up the ax and started to straighten out. My heart was racing because I wasn't sure what he was going to do. I just stood there, speachless and paralyzed.

The man was beautiful. About 175 lbs I figured. He was about 5 foot 10 and when he straightened out his frame he raised the ax and swung it with one hand. It landed on one of the logs and sunk into it a good 4 inches. It made a loud thud when it hit and I was glad because it drowned out the noise of my heart beating. Well, at least to me it did.

The let go of the the ax and placed his hands on his hips. I was agog as he pushed forward on his pelvis with his hands as he arched his back. He had a huge grimace on his face resulting from the muscle stretching excercise. Oddly, just about everybody does the same thing when they stretch.

While the man was stretching he turned toward me. With his pelvis thrust forward, his pants were stretched tight. He was gorgeous and he had a nice package as well! How lucky I am, I thought. This guy was giving me such a show!

He broke the stretch and let out a big groan, looked straight at me and seemed to growl at me; something to the effect of yeh or some other grumbling affirmation. I was a bit embarrassed but I thought I would give it one more try. I asked him if he would like any help cutting the wood or loading it into the car. This seemed to take him a bit by surprise.

Looking at me again (or through me) he asked me if I had ever swung an ax. That's a pretty fair question of someone who you might think was a city boy. Fact of the matter is that I use to cut cords and cords of firewood when I was young, living in the country. I could swing an ax with the best of them. So, I told him that it had been a few years but I would love to give it a try. He handed me the ax and placed a piece of maple tree a little smaller than a foot in diameter. I knew it would split easily. Hardwood with no knots was the easiest thing in the world to split. "Try this" he said and back away; giving me room to swing the ax.

I split it clean in half with barely a half a swing. I felt kinda powerful all of a sudden. "Take that, you dirty little tree" I thought to myself. The man stretched out his sweaty hand and said, "my name's Mark. Good swing." My name's Don, I responded and reached out to take hold of his hand. It was bigger and meatier than mine. It was leathery but at the same time warm and soft. Mark had a firm handshake and I was sorry to have to let go. I wanted to reach out and hug him but he was obviously not interested. We began to talk and I found out that he had been there for over an hour.

As we talked I got the impression that he just wanted to get back to some uninterrupted work. I was more than willing to help anyway. I really didn't care that he wasn't gay and wasn't interested. It was just nice to watch him move around. His face was a bit wrinkled and his cheeks hung down toward his mouth. When he talked he rarely showed his teeth but I got glimpses of a full set of snow white teeth. Probably false, I thought.

We sort of stopped talking and got into the job at hand. I watched him as much as I could while he worked. I really couldn't tell if he noticed or not but I thought that even if he did he wouldn't say anything. The price for all the free help.

I don't know how long we worked but it was quite a while before we finished. All the wood was cut and now all that was left to do was load it into his car. He had a minivan so it would fit easily into the back. I loaded most of the wood because he was just too tired to do it. He didn't say so but I knew he must be pooped. Hell, I was only there for a half hour or so and I was exhausted. I can imagine how he felt. Even though he was obviously in great shape it was a workout a man 30 years younger would have a hard time making it through.

Mark loaded the last of the wood and stood looking into the van. Staring at his feat I supposed. He tossed in the ax and chainsaw and closed the door. His curly snow white hair was sagging under the heat and perspiration. Now that he was done he seemed to relax a bit. I noticed a smile coming to his face and remarkably his sullen, grumpy exterior dissolved. When he smiled his eyes sparkled and face warmed. My God, where did "this" guy come from? All of a sudden, with the simple act of smiling, he converted himself into somebody everyone would love. His smile could have melted anyone's heart. "Sorry for being so unfriendly, I don't know if I could have finished without your help" he stunned me with. He was so friendly all of a sudden. Even though I'd only known him for all but an hour, I figured he was just mean and nasty. All I could muster up was a blushing "oh that's ok" response.

Mark starting asking about me and what I did and where I lived. I thought it was great to be able to talk with him actually acknowledging my responses. We spoke for about ten or so minutes before I got the courage to reach out and brush some of the wood dust off of his arm. He didn't seem to mind so I mentioned to him that he couldn't get into his truck in his condition and proceded to brush the dust off of his shoulders and down his back. He was completely wet and he had dust on him everywhere. There were some pretty large pieces of wood chips stuck in his hair. I guess he noticed them and he ruffled his hair to clean them out. His hair all ruffled made him look even cuter that he already was.

"I have a towel in the truck. I use it to dry off with after a good workout". He went to the truck and after opening the door, reached in and pulled out a towel. He lay it on a big log that was by the truck and proceded to take off his wet shirt.

His chest was covered with white curly fuzz that was matted and stuck to his skin. "Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you" is all I could think to myself as I watched Mark strip to the waist.

He didn't say much as he carried on with his clean up. When he finished he put both his shirt and the towel in the van. He was getting ready to leave and thanked me for helping him. I really didn't want him to go but what could I do?

"Would you like a little help unloading all that wood?" I asked. I was hoping he would say yes and let me follow him home. He didn't answer right away which made it seem like I was waiting for an eternity. He finally responded with, "no, that's ok, it would be too much trouble but thanks for asking".

I wasn't about to give up that easy and fired back with "it ain't no trouble at all; I'd love to help and I have no where to go anyway;" as emphatically as I could. Mark mulled it over for another second then in a seeming reluctant tone he replied, "well ok if you insist, follow me." "I live a few miles west of here; it's not too far". I told him that it was fine.

Mark got in his van and I got in my car and off we went. I was thinking about what a great day it had become as I followed closely to Mark's van. I was missing him already and couldn't wait to see him again.

We made our way into a fairly nice neighborhood and finally arrived at Mark's house. It was a nice brick bungaloo with a two car garage. The garage opened automatically and Mark backed his van in the driveway and stopped just short of the garage. I followed him in the driveway and stopped in front of his van. We both got out and went to the back of his van. I looked in the garage and it was piled high on one side with wood. There must have been a good cord stacked against the wall.

When I asked him what he did with all the wood he told me that he almost fills one side of his garage every year and it lasts all winter. He told me that his heating bills were almost nothing because he has wood buring stoves in the basement and in the living room.

Before we started to unload the wood he asked me if I would like a pop or a beer or something. I told him a diet pop would be great and off he went into the house. He returned shortly with a can of pop which I took and started to drink. It was around 6 in the evening and it was finally starting to cool down a bit. We talked some more and started to unload the wood. It seemed to go a lot faster coming out of the van than it did going in. Shoot, we'd be finished soon and that would be it.

When we finished, Mark closed the van door then from inside the garage he pushed a button and the garage door began to close.

We were in the garage still when he asked if I would like to finish my pop in the house. "That would be great" I said. I followed Mark into the house. We went into the kitchen and he pulled out a chair for himself and waved a hand to the chair next to his. I set my pop on the table and took the chair. Mark went behind me to open the patio door and when he passed by on his way back to his chair he put his hands on my shoulder and squeezed them. I was startled but it felt great. "Thanks for all the help, Don" he said then released his grip. I told him that it was no trouble but all I could do was wonder about him. All of a sudden he seemed to be warming up to me. Maybe there is a chance, I thought. I'd just have to say something suggestive but not obvious, just in case.

"You're a nice man and I like nice people" I offered. Mark's eyes lit up and a big smile came to his face. He thanked me for the compliment and told me it was me that was the nice man. I didn't want to get into three stooges act with him so I decided I had to say something a little bit more direct.

I was sitting close enough to him to reach him so I reached out and placed a hand on his arm and told him "when I helped you, you found out I was a nice guy but I could see you were a nice guy as soon as I saw you from the roadside".

Mark lost his smile and that stare came back. But this time it was different somehow. It wasn't a frown or scowl but sort of a quizzical look. He seemed to be adding figures in his head as he looked at me.

I still had my hand on his arm and Mark grabbed my hand and lifted it to his mouth. He kissed the tips of my fingers then lowered it, letting it go. Now it was me that was adding figures in his head. I was dumbstruck, I was so confused. This guy barely gave me the time of day and seemed to just want me to go away then he does something so gentle and sensual. It didn't make any sense. I didn't know whether his kiss was some wierd foreign custom or what. He looked east European maybe Austrian or Polish or Ukranian. He was about 65ish and wore no wedding ring so I took him for single of widowed. With a million things going through my head I sat there in a trance. Mark stood up and reached out to me. I stood and as I did Mark took me by the arm. "Lets go to the bedroom" he said suggestively. I didn't respond audibly but leapt at the chance. I followed like an obedient little puppy as Mark led me into his bedroom.

Part 2 [02/22/2000]

There was a cool breeze sifting through the open patio door which nicely cooled down Mark's hot kitchen. He left the air-conditioner off and the whole house was very warm. I was sweating a bit from the heat but more so from Mark's calculating advances.

Mark stood in front of me with his hand extended as he asked me to join him in the bedroom. I stared up at him from my seated position; catching his eyes as he looked down at me.

His full face seemed to be miles from me; separated by his impressive torso. I reached out and took his hand as I stood. I came inches from him when I did, resisting my urge to embrace him. For some strange reason he still seemed uninterested and that caused me to hold back from jumping into his arms. I figured it was a one way attraction and that he was content to allow me to get him off and that would be about it. I thought to myself that that was fine with me. He was becoming more appealing the more he seemed reproachable.

Mark was standing only inches away from me and stood silent for a few seconds looking down at me. He was about 4 inches taller but seemed to tower above me. He drew in a long breath as if he were inhaling me then let out a big burst of air. As he did he put his arms around me and gave me a hug. I melted in his arms as he crushed me in his arms. He held me tight while he pressed his cheek against the side of my head. I could smell his sweat mixed with shaving lotion which went directly to my brain. The scent was manly and excited me instantly.

I reached around his huge chest, reciprocating the hug. Mark increased his grip on me which made it hard for me to breath. Pressing my cheek into his neck I could feel that he was clean shaven. Either he had very slow beard growth or he shaved late in the afternoon. The shaving lotion smell was sweet as it mixed with sweat. I took a chance and gave him a small kiss on the neck. Mark nuzzled in closer and picked me up off the floor. Not far, only an inch or so but there I hung like a rag doll as he held me against him. It felt very peculiar and a bit unnerving but he soon let me down. As I hit the floor he released his grip and spun around towards the hallway.

Mike began to walk away from me and I followed. He pulled his shirt off as he strode towards the bedroom; his muscles rippling as he extended his arms over his head to remove his shirt.

When we got into the bedroom he sat on the edge of the bed and began to take his socks off. I began to take off my clothes and throw them on the floor. I finished taking off all of my clothes before he was able to finish taking off his socks. I dropped to my knees in front of him and opened his legs. I crawled on my knees into his crotch and buried my face in the thick blanket of white fur that covered his chest. With my ear on his chest I could hear and feel his heart racing. Once again he thrust his arms around me.

Mark began to caress my back with his big lumberjack hands as I sorted through his chest hair in search of his nipples. Even though I have very little sensitivity in my nipples, I found that a lot of people do. Mark was one of those people. The minute I located his nipple he arched his back and pushed his chest against my face. His furry chest hair was rubbing against my face which felt wonderful. I couldn't resist the temptation to rub my face all over his chest.

We spent quite a few minutes in that position before I straightened out enough to reach his neck. As I began to plant kisses all over his neck, Mark began to gyrate against me. I could feel his hardening cock as it pressed against his pants.

He took my cheeks in his hands and straightened out my head so that he was able to look directly at me. "You have a great body" he said. What he said took me by surprise because I really didn't think he was all that interested. I was so confused.

This man who for the longest time showed no interest then to seem to allow me to at least touch him was now all hands and arms as he wrestled me onto the bed. He rolled me onto my back then jumped off the bed so he could remove the rest of his clothes.

Climbing back onto the bed he straddled me then bend down over me. It was an impossibility to take in the sight of him in all his glory. His cock hung down from his crotch far enough so that the end was touching my stomach. I instinctively shoved my pelvis upward toward him, grinding both our cocks into each others groin.

Mark fell onto me and we began to engage in a long sensual kissing session. I was now able to do what I wanted. Mark's seeming reluctant to get together had completely gone away.

One of the things that I love is running my hands through a mans hair and Mark had a full head of long white curly hair. His hair felt like silk as I let my fingers glide through it; allowing me to pull his mouth tighter to mine.

His strong sweaty odor permeated my senses as we slid back and forth against each other. The warmth in the room was adding to the heat of the moment and we were soon drenched in each others sweat.

Rolling around, it wasn't long before I was perched on top of mount Mark and enjoying the view. I kissed my way down to his crotch, eager to take his cock in my mouth. His pubic hair was curly and white just like his chest hair. I nuzzled my face in it as I traced circles with my tongue all over the area.

As much as I wanted his cock, I first had to lick his big balls. They were nicely sized and made a nice bed for his 6 inch perfectly cylindrical cock. His cock stood poised for action and slid nicely into my mouth, bottoming out at the back of my throat.

I lunched on his cock for as long as I could without making him cum. When I felt him getting close I stopped and made my way back to his waiting mouth. I repeated the kissing, sucking and back to kissing several times over the next hour or so with Mark reciprocating in turn.

Neither one of us wanted the fun to end and we held off as long as we could. The hotter we got the more intense the kissing sessions became. The bed was completely in disarray from our tossing and tumbling. When we were both about ready to explode, Mark suggested that we rest for a little bit. I was crazy with desire but my better judgement told me that he was right and I agreed.

Mark was laying on his back and I nuzzled into him with my head on his chest and running my hand over the now sweat laden bed of chest hair. We stayed like that for a few minutes then Mark rolled over onto his side and with his free hand pulled me up against him so that my ass was against his cock. He threw his arm over me and pulled me tight, kissing the back of my neck as he did.

Once again I felt a cool breeze drift in from the hallway and pass over our bodies. I was in heaven. How could I relax with this extraordinary man nestled into me. I thought to myself that this was just about as content as a person could be. I realized that this was a man that a person could share more than a few stolen moments with.

I lay there, contented, with Mark gently carressing my body and his cock planted in between my ass cheeks, waiting to resume our lovemaking.

Part 3 [02/23/1999]

As we lay clutched together I began to realize a calmness that I hadn't felt in a long, long time. I was in my late 40's and really hadn't ever had a steady lover. Someone that you could call a partner or even good friend. I never allowed myself to become too attached to a person. So this feeling of calmness felt strange. I felt so appropriate nestled into Marks groin.

The temperature in the room had dropped slightly with the advent of a small breeze coming in from the patio door. Mark was slowly and tenderly rubbing my chest and stomach with a softness that belied his gruff exterior. His cock was still fully erect and wedged between my cheeks. It all felt so wonderful.

I was lost in the moment but was jolted back to reality when Mark suddenly moved. He pulled himself away and with one movement he rolled me onto my back and straddling me. It was very gentle but fast. All of a suddenly I was staring up at Mike's beautiful chest and face. He was grinning (I hoped was out of delight) and staring down at me. He slowly dropped down on top of me, wedging his stiff rod between us. We still a bit sweaty and it acted as a fine lubricant to allow us to tease his cock by grinding. Mark found my mouth and we began a long passionate kiss. The kind where you can't have enough of his tongue and your partner feels the same; the kiss was almost like a duel to the death between opposing tongues. - as good as sex!

Mark had reached around me and was exploring my ass, paying more and more attention to the location of my hole. At first he glanced by and when he didn't detect any negative response from he became bolder and bolder. He managed to heave my knees up in the air and was pushing a finger against my hole. Because of our positions it was difficult for him to do much though. He realized that soon enough and proceded to adjust his position so that he was on his knees and crouched down. He was too far away to continue so he reached forward and by grabbing both of my legs at the knee, he pulled me forward. When he had my hips resting on his lap he stopped.

I had a good idea what Mark had in mind and I really wanted him to plunge his cock up into me. But, I was reluctant because I hadn't done it in years and I thought it would hurt too much. I was torn between deciding whether to go forward or not and I must have shown it somehow. Mark looked at me and asked me, "do you want me to fuck you?" The moment of truth and I chickened out and winced and shook my head, no. That was a hard thing to do. Especially from my vantage point. Mark was positioned so that the light from the window was focused on his chest. His curly white hair glimmered in the sunlight. He was looking down and this gave him a sort of second chin, which, because he was grinning, made him look like an elf.

But the worst thing was his hard cock was pointing straight at me. Every time I looked up his cock was in my face. It was a good sized cock. About 6 inches long and perfectly round. The head was slightly larger than the shaft and it was hidden under a loose fitting ample foreskin. The skin was just tight enough so that the edge of the head was outlined skin. I loved that sight. He really did have the nicest looking dicks I had ever seen.

Mark didn't really like my answer and he continued to play with my ass. He had already applied a lot of spit to my hole and was sliding a finger in and out slowly. It didn't hurt and he was very careful to be gentle. I guess he knew that if he hurt me I would stop for sure. "You have such a great body" he said to me and then again. His free hand massaged my stomach and some of my chest. Mark was ready for something that I wasn't and he was doing his best to get me to play along.

"I'm just going to stick the head in" was his next line. It wasn't a question but more of a statement. My God, I thought, he was a good negotiator. I didn't know how to reply and just said nothing. I was ready to say something but before I could Mark pulled his cock back, off of my stomach and placed it against my hole. Before he did he wet the end with spit and peeled back the foreskin to reveal a juicy engorged head. O.K., I thought. Just the head wouldn't be so bad. I could still stop anytime so I decided I could go ahead.

Mark was able to slide into me without any real pain at all. He pushed his cock into me and left it there as he wiggled it with his hand. Maybe that's why it wasn't very painful, it surely wasn't because he was small. His cock was as round as silver dollar. There was plently to have to make room for and I was surprised when he was able to get it in me so easily.

As he began to slowly pump in and out of me he started gyrating his hips and all at the same time, he pulled me up onto him a bit more. I knew he had more than the head in but I was still ok so I urged him on. He leaned forward and hooked onto the back of my knees with his arms and pushed me ahead and back. Mark had my ass up far enough that he had to restrict his thrusts to avoid deep penetration.

I could feel him as he worked more and more of his cock into me. He was slow and methodical but eventually he had everyting in and his pelvis was hitting mine with every stroke. After taking the first bottom out stroke he let out a sigh of relief as if he had finally won the battle. A droplet of sweat fell from his face and landed on the bridge of my nose. Some splashed into my mouth and I could taste the salty texture. Mark was thoroughly enjoying himself now. He had stopped pumping and rested with his cock completely submerged in me. He was grinding and rolling his hips around for further stimulation.

"Are you ok" he asked; to which I nodded okay. This prompted him to resume pumping. He started to speed up his rhythm which seemed to speed up his breathing at the same time. His pace continued until he had come to a pretty fast pace. He started moaning slightly and I figured he was ready to cum. I really wanted to spend more time and hoped he would stop before it was too late. I put some pressure on Marks arms and he allowed me to drop my hips slightly. This stopped him from being able to keep up his pace and broke his focus. I kept retracting until he was out of me.

Mark breathed a heavy sigh as he pulled his swollen cock from me. He took hold of his cock and arched up on both knees. I relaxed my legs, astride Mark. Once again I found myself face to face with Mark's wonderful cock. It was very sensual to watch him jerk himself.

I watched as he played with himself. It was like a fantasy some true. I was furiously pumping my own cock and was about ready to blow. Mark made an audible grunt, took two or three more tugs on his cock and then another grunt. The last grunt was more of a whine than anything else. With it, Mark exploded his cum out of the end of his cock and sprayed my whole front. They weren't gobs but droplets and there were a ton of them. It was like it was raining; it was so incredibly sensual. Mark instantly relaxed and dropped down onto his hands. When he did, his cock hung straight down and pointed to my balls. I could see down between us. His cock was aiming straight down and a long, thick stream of cum stretched from the head and wet my balls. The sight was too much for me; it reacted immediately to my senses and I sprayed my own cum onto my stomach. A few more milking pumps and I too was done.

When I finished, Mark dropped onto me and we had a nice "after the sex" kiss. We were both completely exhausted and after a quick few embraces we just lay silently and still.

When I awoke it was dark out and my first reaction was fear because I had no idea what time it was. Mark was also just coming out of a nap. We each must have caused the other to wake up. I had no way of knowing how long we were asleep but what I did realize was that I was sporting a hardon. Mark was curled up against and it was obvious that he was raring to go as well. His cock was as hard as ever.

Part 4 [02/24/1999]

I lay there, staring out the window with an uneasiness, caused by not knowing the time. It was well after dark and I felt so rested that I figured that I must have been asleep for quite a while.

The fact that I had a hard on and so did Mark, reinforced my suspicion that it was late. I couldn't stand not knowing and even though I was enjoying the feeling of Mark and his body melded against me, I decided to get up and look at my watch.

My watch was on the night stand and as I reached for it I realized that I couldn't even remember taking it off. I had a flashback to the beginning of the afternoon and everything from my stop at the intersection up to now was nothing but a big blur. The notion troubled me because I suddenly had a hard time picturing Mark's face.

I never made it to my watch. The separation anxiety that had come over me since I left Mark's side had more power over me than my need to see the time. I spun around and threw my arms and legs over Mark as he lay on his side. I nuzzled into him, crunching down so that I was able to nestle my face into his neck. Mark responded by hugging me firmly. He wrapped his arm around my back and placed his hand on the back of my head. Leaving it there he held me close to him, seeming to sense my inner feelings.

Going through my head was the notion that I had feelings for this stranger that went beyond feelings of lust. True, he was gorgeous, but he was tender and gentle and seemed to be able to sense all my moods. I remembered how he said that I had a nice body and how much he enjoyed making love to me. Was that it?, I thought. Is this what I was missing all these years. Could it be that I was falling for this guy?

Once again, Mark brought me out of yet another trance. "Would you like to go for a little midnight swim?" he said out loud. His voice cut through the still quietness of the room. He was alive and kicking and looked as if he had just woke from a very restful sleep. I responded, "sure" and within seconds Mark was off the bed and had come around to the side. He reached out and pulled me off the bed with both hands. He was still hard and so was I. When we stood Mark bent at the knees, far enough so that he could slip his cock under my balls before he wrapped his arms around me.

Good golly this guy was hot, I thought. He was so sexual and uninhibited. And, I felt completely comfortable with him and that made it all the more satisfying.

We hugged for a while before we began to kiss each other with a watered down version of the "first encounter lustful" kissing that took place earlier. We certainly weren't getting any closer to the pool as we began to escalate our session. We were grinding and rubbing and kissing passionately when Mike broke off and said "lets go get that swim". Big goddam tease, I thought, then laughed to myself. Mike looked at me quizzically when I began to laugh. So what the hell, I thought; it was funny to me so I decided to say it out loud. And when I did I said it in a joking manner. "Ya big goddam tease". Mark stopped, turned and spoke as he laughed, "I'm not the tease, you are". As he was talking he was reaching out and caught my cock in his hand. He pumped it up and down as he finished saying, "you're so fucking cute". He let go of my cock, wrapped an arm around the back of my neck and marched me out of the room.

He grabbed a few towels from a hall closet and we continued back towards the kitchen. I hadn't noticed the pool when we first arrived. I guess I wasn't looking at much except Mike.

The pool was a nice size kidney shaped pool with a beautifully lanscaped enclosure, complete with a deck, lounge chairs, a swing and a couple of small cedar clad sheds. The night air was filled with the scent of a variety of flowers blooming in the garderns that were scattered all around the area. It was about 70 degrees out and the air seemed warm on my bare skin. The only light in the yard was from the night sky. There was almost a full moon and there wasn't a cloud in sight. Living in the city, I had forgotten how much difference it makes when you see the sky outside the city. The sky seemed to have ten time the stars and the moon seemed brighter.

"I need to shower before I go in the pool. Care to join me?" Mike said. He opened the door on the shed nearest the house and I could see that it was a bath house. I didn't respond in any way, I just followed him inside. He tossed the towels on a bench and opened up the shower door. The shower was an unusually large one. Not the normal 2 x 2 foot square ones that I had been accustomed to seeing.

Mark adjusted the water temperature and stepped in. He turned and watched me as I made my way through the shower door. Mark closed the door and wrapped his arms around me. There were several different plastic bottles lined on a shelf in the shower. Shampoo, conditioner, liquid soap; the normal stuff. Mark reached over and selected the liquid soap. We were plenty wet already so the liquid soap spread quickly.

I loved the soap down. We pressed our chests and pelvis' together and slithered about with our cocks taking turns sliding into each other crotch. "We may never get to the pool if we keep this up" I said to Mark. I knew that this could easily turn into the end of the evening and I wanted to enjoy more of Mark so I took the initiative and began to rinse off. Mark must have agreed to some degree because he followed my lead. We both rinsed off and left the shower. When we got out of the shower, Mark showed me something that he had invented. He had the hot water pipes for the shower running through the bench that he had thrown our towels onto when we first arrived in the bath house. The bench was made of cedar strips and after taking a hot shower the seat became warm from the hot water passing under it. The towels were warmed up so that they felt like they just got out of the dryer. It was a great idea and had such a wonderful effect. It made me giggle because it was so neat. I felt like a kid discovering something for the first time. I sat on the bench and it was really warm on my butt. Not as hot as a sauna but pretty warm. It felt really nice and I told Mark so. "What a neat idea, this feels wild" Mark just smiled a thank-you and opened the door of the bath house.

There were stairs leading into the pool and we proceded to enter that way. The water felt really warm as we entered. I had a pool of my own and I figured he had the water at about 82 degrees. I liked warm pool water. 85 degrees is great but this was close enough. When Mark hit the water he stopped when he got to crotch level. He let his cock float on top of the water and waited for me to watch as he dipped down, submerging his cock like a submarine going down. It was great to watch.

Mark swam to the far side of the pool where a small light was illuminating the pool. As I swam over to meet him I could see how the light was distorting his features. He was in the water up to his neck so that his body looked like it didn't belong to his head. It was like a funroom mirror or something. But, it made him look even more adoreable that ever before. Here I go again, I thought. What was this feeling that I was having about this guy?

I made it to Mark and ended my swim with my mouth against his. He was actually sitting on a sill or step or something at the side of the pool. My pool had nothing like it but I guessed it was there so you could sit with just your head above water. Sort of like a hottub. Anyway, he was able to use both hands to hug me as we kissed. I allowed myself to drop down in the water so that I was dangling in front of Mark. He had opened his legs and I settled into his crotch. When I did he closed his knees against me so that I couldn't move or slip away from him.

We began to play with each other in the pool. Mark was able to move me around like a doll. He was strong to begin with but being in the pool he was able to lift me up with little ease. He lifted me fully clear of his legs and let me back down so that I was stradling him, sitting facing him. I came to rest with his cock wedged from my balls to the crack of my ass. I was a bit higher now and had to bend my head down to meet Marks upturned face. What an assalt on the senses. The scent of hundreds of flowers, the sensation of Marks cock as it pressed against my balls and ass, the sight of his masses of soaking wet, snow white locks and the taste of the inside of his mouth. My hearing was gone, drowned out by the noises in my head that kept telling me to lock this memory away; it was something that I would never forget.

I didn't just kiss him then, it was more like I was drinking him into me. At that moment I couldn't get close enough or squeeze him hard enough. I decided that I was falling in love with him.

"Hold on and hold your breath" Mark said and pushed off of his perch. He launced forward with me wrapped around him like a Koala bear. We were still mouth to mouth when we landed in the middle of the pool. Mark began to kiss me as we started to sink to the bottom of the pool. Our feet went down and we stayed suspended in water for a second or two before we touched bottom. And all the while we maintained our kiss. It felt sensual and frightening at the same time. Neither one of us had much reserve air and had to break off the kiss and swim to the surface. It was only about a one foot swim so it was pretty safe.

I followed Mark out of the pool and waited while he went to the bath house and returned with two warmed towels. I was surprized that his little invention kept the towels warm that long. I felt really nice to wrap up in the big warm towel. Mark came over and began to wipe me dry. He toweled off both my legs and my arms then started to rub my hair dry. He worked very slowly and gently. He seemed to really enjoy drying my hair. And I enjoyed it thoroughly.

We finished drying each other off and removing any last water droplets with our tongues. Especially the ones that clung to Mark's chin. Those I had to suck off. His chin was deliciously chlorinated.

"It's 12:30, let's go back to bed" Mark said with his mouth nestled in my neck. Okay is all I could say. There was no debate. No question. No hesitation.

We went back into the house and I headed for the bedroom. Once in the kitchen, Mark hesitated then asked if I would like something to drink. I thought for a second than asked for just a drink of water. I continued to the bedroom and started straightening out the bed.

Mark came into the bedroom holding two glasses of water. It was the first time that I could recall seeing him without a hardon. His cock hung down from where it had been sticking out all night. I was sitting on the edge of the bed when Mark put the glasses on the night-stand. When he straightened out his cock and balls were perfectly eye level.

I cupped his two balls, one in each hand and forced them toward me. His flaccid cock was thrust upward, being supported by Marks big balls. What an extraordinary cock; it was only about two and a half inches long and no bigger round than my thumb. How could it be so large when hard. The head of his cock was quite a bit bigger that the shaft when small. Intriguing, I mused to myself.

I began to lick Marks balls and rub my face into his cock and balls. I lifted his cock with my nose and allowed it to drop into my mouth. I was able to suck on his cock and force the foreskin over his knob and then pinch it between my lips and then force my tongue through.

I kept sucking on his balls and cock until I could feel the blood rushing to fill his cock once again. It didn't take very long before the little cock that couldn't became the big cock that did and probably would again. Mark placed his hands on my shoulders and asked me "stay the night?". He said it in a way that was a cross between asking and demanding. I had to consider his request and so I had to take his cock out of my mouth. It was too hard to think with his cock planted in my mouth.

There were a hundred reasons why I should have said no but at the time none of them seemed to matter much so I said yes. Mark pushed me back onto the bed and crawled over me to where "His" side was. I rolled toward him and we embraced. Now was the time, I thought. Now we would make mad passionate love.

To hell with work tomorrow, I'd call in sick.

Part 5 [02/29/1999]

The taste of the swimming pool was still on Mark's lips as we began to kiss. His hair was still wet and it felt cool to the touch. Grasping the back of his head I was able to caress his head, maintaining a slight pressure against my hungry mouth.

The room was warm but refreshing on the skin after the night breezes, earlier, had a chance to cool us down. Feeling a bit of a chill, it was especially pleasureable to press my stomach against Mark. Every bit of skin that touched together immediately warmed and soon we were both enjoying a full body warmth. Mark couldn't have tasted sweeter if he were coated in honey. He reacted as if he though the same about me. We were soon consumed with each other.

The night chill was replaced by a soothing warmness and that soon gave way to heat. The rustling and wrestling combined with our heightened arousal turned us, once again, into a couple of sweating animals.

Mark was on top of me and planting hundreds of little kisses all along my neck and shoulders as he squirmed his body against mine. After a carefully placed few more pecks on the neck, Mark rose up and paused with his face a few inches away from me. He looked down at me with his eyes wide open. They were a deep rich brown and it seemed as if I could see my whole life in them. Once again a quiet calm came over me and as Mark looked down upon me, I felt more at ease and comfortable than I had ever been. He wasn't doing anything special; he was just doing it without inhibition. Mark continued to look down at me as he pressed the bottom half of his body against me. A small smilless grin came across his face.

I reached up and put my arms as far around his shoulders as I could. I massaged his shoulders very gently then brought my hands around to his face. With one hand on either side I held his head in my hands. His rustled white locks had fallen, as far as they could, onto his face. They were just long enough to blend in with his equally white eyebrows. Even though the room was darkened, Mark's eyes shone. The white hair only made them seem brighter.

With his head still in my hands, Mark lowered himself down until our mouths met. This time he kissed me very lightly. Then he settled down onto me. I spread my legs and wrapped them around Mark's hips. I could feel his hard cock as it slipped past my balls and wedged itself against my ass. Mark began to hump me but I knew that I wouldn't be going through with getting fucked again. I wanted him in me but at a different end.

Not only did I find myself falling in love with this man but I also found him amazingly attractive. He was not what most would consider a good looking man. He was a bit too wrinkled and he had a constant grumpy look about him. I couldn't help but wonder why I found him so attractive. At the time I couldn't imagine what it was about him but later on it became obvious.

Mark alternated between lowering himself to me and kissing me then raising up and looking down at me. Each time he raised himself up he would look at me then move his eyes down and back. As if he were studying me. I have quite a bit of chest hair but it is straight and fine. So, compared to Mike I must have seemed bald.

On his last raise up he lifted up far enough to balance himself on his haunches. Now with both hands he began to massage my stomach and chest. I was busy running my hands all over his chest as well. His chest hair was long and curly and a real treat to look at; and feel.

I moved my hand down to Mark's cock which stood out over mine. I peeled back the foreskin and revealed a glistening bead of precum nestled in the opening of his knob. I squeezed his cock, milking the precum, so that it could no longer maintain a hold on his knob. As it dropped off it left a long thick string which ended when it struck me just above my belly button. I felt awful that it was wasted on my stomach but the sight was hugely sensual.

I reached behind Mark and with my hands on his butt cheeks I pulled him forward. Mark lifted himself up and shifted forward until his knees were straddling my chest. With a forward movement he was able to deliver his cock to my waiting mouth.

I watched intently as the head of his cock got closer and closer. There was another smaller droplet of precum visible on the end of his cock. I made sure that this one wouldn't go to waste. I stretched out my tongue and Mark landed his cock head deftly onto it. I licked the end of his cock, tasting the sweet nectar that it teased me with.

In my contorted position I wasn't able to move forward well enough to get all of Mark's swollen cock into my mouth. When I wasn't able to get much more than the head into my mouth, Mark leaned forward and plunged it deeper into my mouth. Mark was getting close to cuming and while it was erotic and satisfying, I didn't want him to cum so soon. He was groaning and moaning with delight when I stopped and tried to push him back off of me. "Ohhhhhhhhhh" he groaned as he leaned back.

Mark climbed off of me and took a place beside me. I sat up and leaned over, once again taking his cock into my mouth. Mark was rubbing my back as I continued to work on his cock and balls. His crotch smelled fresh and clean this time. I tried to take both balls into my mouth but they wouldn't cooperate. They were more than a mouthful and since there was such a lot of skin holding them in place they had a lot of room to move around.

My cock was aching and when Mark reached under me and took hold of it, I almost exploded. I had to engulf his cock to take my mind off of my own cock's burden. Rearing up on all fours I straddled Mark and then resumed my work on his cock. It was hard for Mark to find the end of my cock. He took it whole. I could feel the end of my cock as it struck the back of Mark's throat. "He'd done this before" I thought. I had a good six and a half inches and not many could get all of it down. Mark had no problem.

I was ready to go and knew that I wouldn't be able to resist this kind of cocksucking. I pulled off of Mark's cock and holding it in my hand, watched it. It was beautiful. With my other hand I cupped his balls and pulled them forward so that I had one on each side of his engorged cock. The sight was painfully perfect. I felt myself getting really close and so wanted Mark to cum with me. I had been steadily beating his cock and lunged forward at it when I had the skin off the head. I took it down as far as I could and began to do my best to bring him to orgasm.

Mark was whimpering as he became closer and closer and I could feel his cock as it began to throb in anticipation of delivering another load. His sounds and the feel of his cock as it throbbed in reaction to my sucking was the last straw. I did a little of my own whimpering and unloaded into Mark's mouth. That was the triggering mechanism for him as he began to unload into me. The backwash from his first burst exploded from my mouth and covered his balls in a thick spray. After the initial surprize blast, I was able to cope with the remaining gush of cum.

When I pulled off of Mark's cock I milked it and a big gob of cum poured out of the end. I quickly put my hand around his cock and rubbed the last of his cum onto his cock head. It felt great to massage the wad of cum all over his cock; sliding the skin back and forth over the knob.

I pulled out of Mark's mouth and spun around so that I could hug and kiss him. All the while not letting go of his softening cock. "You have a perfect cock" I said to him. And it was. Maybe the nicest cock I'd ever seen. Mark smiled at my statement but responded, "your cock is just right". I nestled my face in his chest and listened to his raging heartbeat.

Without saying another word, Mark reached down to the bottom of the bed and pulled up a light blanket that we had pushed down. He pulled it up and covered us both; finishing by wrapping his arm around me. He was on his back and I was laying side on him with my arm around his chest. I moved my knee up until it was abutting his cock and balls. I found myself smiling to myself. I couldn't possibly have been happier or more content.

It was quite late and I still couldn't decide whether or not I would be going to work in the morning. I wasn't even sure if I should get up and go home at the moment. I began to think about some of those things when I found myself drowsing. It startled me to think that I might fall asleep again. Mark was awake and I really didn't want to impose upon him. But all my apprehension melted away when I heard him say, "go to sleep, I'll see you in the morning". He kissed me on top of the head as he squeezed me. That was all I needed to completely relax. But then Mark got up and out of bed. He went to his dresser and opened a drawer. From it he pulled a pair of pyjamas and proceeded to put them on. "I can't sleep without them" he said. I stared in amazement as he crawled back into bed with them on. They were cotton, I guess. They were well worn which suggested that they were quite old.

My God, I thought, he looked better in pyjamas than he did naked. Or at least he was at least as sexy looking.

He crawled back into bed and turned onto his side facing me. I turned around and pushed my ass into his crotch. He responded by throwing his arm around me and pulling me tight to him. He pulled the blanket back over us and with a few little jiggles he settled down for the night.

It was then that I decided that I definitely wanted to see more of Mark. I began to think to myself; he was great looking, a great lover, tender and affectionate. He was everything that you could ask for. I was considering the notion that he might be someone that I could spend the rest of my life with. With that thought in mind I drifted off.

I woke up with a feeling that I was in a cocoon. I couldn't remember ever being that comfortable.

I felt something hit me on the feet and when I opened my eyes I could see that it was Mark taking off his pyjamas. He had already taken off the bottoms and had changed into pants. He had just taken off the top and was putting on a t-shirt. He hadn't noticed that I was watching. He proceeded to button his shirt. When he was on the last button he looked over and saw that I was awake. "Good morning" he said and bent down to kiss me. I reached up and gave him a big hug. "Good morning" I replied. "Where are you going" I asked. "I have to go to work but I will be back at 3 o'clock." "I'm a bit late so I gotta run; you can make yourself at home".

With that he gave me another kiss, and left the room. I suddenly felt strange and alone. He was gone and here I was, left to wonder about whether or not I should stay or go home.

What is a guy to do? I wondered.

Part 6 - Dinner with Mark [03/01/1999]

When Mark left the room I felt his absence. I lay there on the bed feeling as if a part of me had been amputated. I looked down to the bottom of the bed and noticed that Mark had left his pyjamas there. I reached down and pulled them up to me. I lay the top on my pillow and then lay my head on them. They had an odor that I associated with Mark. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath through my nose.

I heard Mark as he busied himself in preparation to leave. He came back into the room, completely dressed, and came over to where I lay. He bent down and kissed me on the cheek and paused to tell me that he was leaving. "I'll be back this afternoon; I'll see you then" he said with a hint of hopefulness in his voice. He placed his hand on my head and ran it down the side of my face, backing away as he finished.

When Mark left the room this time it was as if it were in slow motion. I didn't want him to leave and I guess my mind slowed down the action in an attempt to prevent the inevitable from happening. I heard the door close as Mark left the house and soon afterward the sound of his car starting. I strained to hear his van as he pulled out of the driveway and drove off.

I looked at the clock and it was only 6:15 in the morning. I still had a couple of hours before I was suppose to be at work. So, after much thought, I decided to go home and get changed and go to work. I really couldn't stay at Mark's house without a change of clothes anyway. Certainly nothing that fit Mark would ever fit me. I lay there enjoying the warmth of Mark's bed with my face resting on his pyjama top and planned out my day. First, I thought I would go home, get showered and changed and then go to work. I figured that if I got in a little earlier than usual I could leave in time to meet Mark at about 4pm. The problem was how to let Mark know that I would be back and that I would love to spend more time with him. I decided to leave him a note that would explain my feelings and intentions.

I got out of bed and after dressing quickly I went out to my car and retrieved a pen and some writing paper. I sat at the kitchen table and began to write Mark a short note.

Dear Mark;

I can't begin to tell you how much I enjoyed myself last 
night. You have made an impression on me that goes way 
beyond infatuation. Dare I say that I think I am falling 
in love with you?, after such a short time?! 

We really didn't have much time to talk and therefore I 
know very little about you. I would love to spend this 
evening with you and maybe get to know Mark, the person 
a bit better. As for me my life's an open book and I 
would be glad to tell all. 

As much as I would like to be here when you get home, 
I really can't manage to take the day off work. I would 
rather plan on a few days off when we could spend the 
whole day together. Perhaps I could help you fill that 
garage of yours with more wood.

I already miss the feeling of your hands against my skin 
and the sweetness of your lips against mine. I am still 
in a fog, created by the incredible experience of being 
with you last night. You are without a doubt the most 
gentle lover I have ever had and I can't wait to wrap 
my arms and legs around you again.

I know that I am rambling but I can't help it. You bring 
out the desire in me and it dictates my actions.

I will try to get away early today and perhaps we could 
go for a quick dinner tonight. My phone number at work 
is ***-**** and at my home it is ***-****. Please call 
me when you get home and we can make plans.

Y.O.D. (Your own Donald)

P.S. I hope I haven't scared you with my forthrightness. 

I read the note over and over again as I pondered whether I should rewrite it or leave it as is. I was really afraid that he might read it and get the wrong idea. Or that he might not want to get involved with anyone. Either way, I would be devastated if he cut me off at this point.

I decided to leave the note. I folded the page in half and placed it in the center of the kitchen table. I noticed a cookie jar on the counter and took a couple of cookies and placed them on top of the note. I figured that the cookies would keep the note from being blown off the table and getting lost. I felt very odd to be in a strange house and nobody around. I couldn't help but think to myself how trusting Mark was. He left me all alone and he didn't know anything about me, not even where I lived.

Leaving the note behind, I left the house. I closed the front door and walked towards my car. I sudden feeling of loss came over me and my chest began to ache. All I could think of was Mark's wonderous face looking down at me. I began to think back to a notion that I had much earlier. What was it about this man that was so appealling? The more I thought about it the more it became obvious. Or so it seemed.

My drive home took about 20 minutes and I did it in total silence. I turned off the radio and stared straight ahead. I kept getting the image of Mark biting his bottom lip. Just the corner of it. Then there was the way he looked at me. Each time I opened my eyes I would catch him gazing at me with a far away look. It was a look I had never seen before. Probably because I had never known anyone before that felt the way he did. I knew what it was that made him so attractive; it was his feelings for me. To put it plainly, the feelings I had for Mark were mutual.

I was quick to get showered and shaved and dressed. I got to work about an hour earlier than normal which was great. I immediately went about my work. I had a hard time concentrating on work. The pain in my chest was a constant reminder that something profound had changed in my life. And that was Mark.

The day passed at a torturous pace. I couldn't even hold a conversation with my co-workers without thinking about Mark. Of course, nobody knew about my sexual preference so I couldn't relate my tale to anyone. I wanted to shout it out but I was in a very hetero kind of job and that would have been suicide. My job consisted of maintenance and metal fabrication. All of the people in the shop did nothing but talk about women all day; even me. Hell, they might all be gay if I used myself as a yardstick for determining sexual preference.

Around 3:30 I got a page from the office that I had a phone call. My heart was in my throat as I went for the phone. I thought, for sure, that everyone could tell that the man on the phone was my lover. How on earth could I explain.

"Hello, this is Don" I said in a cracked voice. I waited for the response, hoping that it would be Mark. When I heard his voice I went beet red in the face. There were a few of the guys in the office and I had to be careful about what to say. "I got home and went straight to the bedroom looking for you". "I was really disappointed that you weren't there but I found your note and..." Mark stopped in mid sentence and I thought I detected the sound of him sobbing. He was obviously having a hard time talking and I couldn't say anything to help him through. The office manager who took the call knew it was a man so I had to pretend that I was still listening.

"I would love to go to dinner with you; where would you like to go" Mark asked. I couldn't figure out how to respond without letting everyone know what we were talking about. "You decide. Whatever is ok with you is ok with me" I said. "I am in a room full of people who are waiting for me to get off the phone so I have to go. I will be done work at 4". Mark picked up on the code and acknowledged my predicament. "Oh, I understand. Can I expect you at my place about 4:30?"

"That would be correct" I finished. Mark ended the conversation with "I'll see you tonight; I can't wait". I said ok and hung up the phone. As expected, I had to explain the conversation to everyone. While I was talking to Mark I was already formulating an explanation and when I was asked I told everyone that it was someone trying to get an appointment with me to sell cleaning supplies. I told them in such a matter of fact way that they seemed to buy it. I was going to have to come up with a better way of contacting Mark than using the company phone. I knew it would get harder and harder to explain.

The day finally came to an end and I raced out of the building to my car. I didn't waste any time getting on the road. I retraced the route to Mark's house, starting at the recycle center. Memories were flashing in and out of my head. The ache in my chest was still there and as I molled over the past 24 hours in my head the pain increased.

The ache seemed to increase in intensity as I got closer to Mark's house. It got so bad that I thought my heart would explode from my chest as I turned into Mark's driveway.

Mark was standing in front of the window looking out on the front yard when I pulled in. He had the door open for me before I could get out of the car. I was trying not to run but I could feel myself walking at a quick pace to get to the door.

I entered the house and Mark closed the door. As soon as the door latched I jumped into his arms. The pain in my chest started to go away. Mark took my face in his hands and pulled my mouth to his. He gave me a mighty kiss on the mouth then pulled away to say "I missed you". When he wrapped his arms around me he hugged me very tightly and almost lifted me off the floor. I lost my balance and fell against him. It was at that moment that I noticed that the ache in my chest had disappeared.

"Do you like continental fare?" he asked me. I wasn't quite sure what that meant but I said yes anyway. As long as I was with Mark, it wouldn't matter what food was in front of me.

Mark was dressed in casual pants and a short sleeve shirt. He looked amazing. His pants were cut short in the crotch; a little something I learned from a tailor friend of mine. Pants with a short crotch length provided more support and showed a mans "package" just nicely. Mark's crotch showed a noticeable bulge which I was well familiar with. It felt great to grind my own crotch against his. He was sporting a swollen cock and it wasn't long before we were trading spit.

We continued to kiss for some time before we both agreed that we should be getting going. We went in his van. The drive to the restaurant was a short one; barely 10 minutes. I wasn't familiar with the restaurant. It was very small and cozy. It was inside an old house. It was called Two Doves. I thought we were a bit underdressed for the place but Mark didn't seem concerned. When we entered we were ushered to a small table in a secluded part of the main dining area. Mark spoke to the waiter as if he knew him. So far I was quite impressed. I was particularly pleased to find that the table was covered with a table cloth that hung down past our laps. I was able to squeeze one of Mark's knees in between mine. Public displays of affection was out of the question but a stolen caress or two was very sensual.

I let Mark make a recommendation for dinner and he ordered for both of us. Before the food arrived we enjoyed sharing a glass of wine. The restaurant was dimly lit which made everything seem soft and soothing. I wanted to tell Mark that I thought I was falling in love with him but I resisted the urge. I didn't want to say anything that would spoil the mood.

We both picked at our food but managed to finish, finally. "Care for desert" asked the waiter. I was ready to go home and jump on Mark's bones but he beat me to the punch. "Peche Melbe for two please". Mark went on to explain to me that they made the absolute best Peach Melba in the world. The chef was Swiss and it was his signature dessert. How could I refuse. I had never even had it before so I really didn't know what to expect.

When dessert arrived it was served in a large champagne glass. There were two hot peach halves in syrup covered with a small scoop of ice cream and topped with whipped cream. The combination was wonderful. Mark was right on the money. I told him how great I thought it tasted which seemed to validate his choice. We finished our dessert and began to carry on a conversation about Mark's work. We lost track of time as we spoke. Coffee had arrived and was refilled a few times. Before I knew it, it was after 8 o'clock. We had been there for almost two hours but it seemed like minutes.

I suddenly had an urge to kiss the back of Mark's neck. He had recently had a haircut and the back of his neck was shaved. It looked so sexy and inviting but, alas, here we were and there was no way to even touch him other than the foot fondling that had been going on all night.

We finished dinner, Mark picking up the check. "Next one's on me" I declared. Mark paid the check and we left. I wanted to touch him so bad but had to resist the urge until we got into his van.

"I know a place where we can go and talk". said Mark. He started the van and we were off. As soon as we were moving I reached across and took Mark's hand. Raising it to my lips I kissed it then clasped it in both my hands.

Soon I would have to tell him I loved him.

Part 7 - In the Park [03/04/1999]

The restaurant was pretty close to the lake and the drive there didn't take very long. Mark pulled into the parking lot and picked a spot near the edge of the forest that rimmed the lakefront. He stopped the van and turned off the engine. After he pulled the keys from the ignition he spun around to face me. I don't know if it was all the food or just the way he was sitting but his belly was straining against his shirt. It was as if he suddenly acquired a beer belly; it was very endearing and I just had to reach out and caress it.

There wasn't a console between the two seats and in the late day light we were sufficiently hidden from prying eyes. I slid out of my seat and dropped to the floor of the van. I was able to wrap my arms around Mark's waist. He responded by squeezing me with his legs. I held on for as long as I could; enjoying the soft warmth of his body. He had turned off the air conditioning but the van was still comfortably cool. The contrast between the surrounding air and the warmth of Mark's body was noticeable enough that it made me want to snuggle in even tighter. I gave him one last squeeze then broke away. I looked up at him, tilted my head upwards and waited for him to bend down and kiss me.

When we finished a long passionate kiss I looked into his eyes and told him that I loved him. "I know that I've only known you for a couple of days but I have fallen in love with you" "You are all I can think about and I have been trying to tell you for a while now". Mark didn't look at all surprised. He paused for a second or two then pulled me up off my knees so that I was bent over him. I'm short but not short enough to stand in a van so I had to bend over. Mark had lifted me off my knees and with one continuous motion he bent me over and wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me onto him, almost knocking me over. He hugged me very tightly and with his mouth in my ear he replied, "thank-you". His voice was quivering as he said it three or four times. His whispers were cracking and I dared not move for fear that he might break down completely and I didn't want him to be embarrassed. Even though, at that moment, I couldn't have loved him more.

"I have never known anyone like you before" he said to me; with his face still buried in my neck. "You're beautiful and I was hoping you could love me as I do you". Now it was my turn to become somewhat emotional. I really didn't think that hearing him say he loved me would cause me to react the way I did. Maybe it was the huge relief of not having to wonder about his feelings or the fact that I could now tell him just how I felt. Either way, I was shaking with emotion.

We kissed again but this time it was mixed with emotion as we both fought back tears. Tears of happiness. I broke off our kiss and told him that I would have to get out of the van or I would start bawling. Mark laughed with a spurt of air that jetted out of him. He was holding back his breath and his laugh was just what we needed to get us back to sanity.

We got out of the van and walked toward the lakefront. There wasn't much of a beach but there was a stone breakwall with a few feet of sand in front of it. The breakwall was about 3 feet high. Mark had grabbed a car blanket before he got out of the van and he spread it on the sand in front of the breakwall. There wasn't anyone around and the area we were in was quite desolate and isolated. Probably not much of a chance that anyone would wander by. We sat down on the blanket and leaned against the stone wall. Mark took my hand and we began to talk. I kicked off my shoes and dug my heels into the sand. This gave me some leverage to siddle over so I could get tight against Mark. We were careful not to get to involved, just in case. Nevertheless, we each took turns looking up over the top of the wall to scan for people who might happen upon us.

I slipped my arm around Mark's waist and rested my head on his shoulder as we spoke. "Do you think we could freeze time?" I asked. Mark just sighed in response. I knew he felt the same. I just wanted the moment to last forever. Both of us forgot about keeping an eye out for strangers as we snuggled into each other. The air was cooling down but there was a warm breeze coming off the lake.

Mark was telling about his work. He owned a pharmacy and even though he had a couple of people that ran the store he still liked to spend time there. He told me that he had become acquainted with many of his customers and they would look for him when they came to the store. In a time when large chain drugstores were the norm, his was a small, privately owned store. As he spoke, I found myself envious of all the people that had known him for so long.

We continued to talk about work and music and what sort of things that each of us liked to do. We discovered a lot of things that we had in common and a few things that we were totally opposites. I liked TV and he rarely watched anything except the news. He liked classical music and I liked pop and rock. I liked people and he found most people a nuisance and therefore dismissed most. The only people that he seemed to have any time for were his customers. Everyone else got a brutal dose of crabbiness. One thing that we both agreed on was a love of nature. We discovered that we both liked to do gardening. I had seen Mark's back yard so I knew he spent a lot of time developing a lush garden. My own backyard was no match for Mark's but I had one of the best kept gardens in the neighborhood. We made plans to go to a place called Edward's Gardens. Edward's Gardens was a huge city owned botanical garden about an hour or so from Mark's house. We made plans to go there on the Saturday to come.

The moon provided just enough light for us to see each other but the rest of the park had darkened as night fell. It was after 11 and we decided that it was about time to leave. The wind had picked up a bit and the waves were getting bigger. I listened with one ear on the waves and one on Mark's chest. I was timing the beats of his heart with the falling of the waves onto the shore. Pure heaven!

I hated to leave but I knew we had to. But not before stealing another hug and kiss. When I moved over to kiss Mark he sat up and pushed me back until I lost my balance. He continued to push me until I fell onto my back on the blanket. Mark allowed himself to fall onto me; deftly aiming his mouth to collide with mine. He was half on and half off of me with his arm around me. We began to kiss while he threw his leg over me, pinning me to the ground. I wrapped my arms around him and allowed myself to loose myself in another dreamy embrace. I could feel Mark's cock harden against my hip as we continued to kiss. Reaching down I massaged the growing lump in his pants. My own erection was receiving a reciprocating massage from Mark's free hand.

I rolled Mark over onto his back and lifted myself up so that I could look at him. He put his arm under his head to support it and just lay there looking up at me. I straddled his hips and with both hands on his chest for support, I just stared at him. "I just want to look at you" I told him. With only the moonlight for illumination it was a totally new visage I saw in front of me. It seemed that every time I saw Mark in a different light or at a different angle, he became even more attractive. Here, in the moonlight, he was absolutely mouth watering. I reached forward and stroked his face. It felt smooth and warm to the touch. Mark pressed his face against my left hand then turned his head and kissed my hand. When he did I opened my hand. Mark reached around and taking my hand in his he pressed it against his mouth and kissed the palm.

I pulled my hand away and bent down to him. I straightened out my legs and lay fully on top of Mark as we resumed our kissing. "Have I told you lately that I love you?" I asked. "You are a perfect man" I continued. I knew that I was being corny but I didn't care. I was having a hard time coming to grips with my feelings for Mark and the only thing that seemed to help me was to tell him over and over again how I felt. Mark seemed to have difficulty responding but that was ok with me. I loved him and nothing was going to stop me from letting him know.

There was something about the feeling of Mark's bulging crotch, crushed against mine, that was extremely erotic. I couldn't help myself and had to lift up enough to insert my hand. I had no trouble finding the zipper clip and wiggling it down. I slipped my hand into his pants and massaged his cock through his boxer shorts. His cock felt great as I rubbed it between my hand and his underwear. What a feeling! I proceeded to find the opening to his boxers and slid my hand inside. The first thing I found was his pubic hair. I slid my hand through the hair, feeling the side of his cock as I did. I got hold of his cock and moved it around until it was in a position to pull it through the opening in his boxers. I had a hard time getting it through the opening. His cock was too long and thick to get it through without forcing it. But finally I managed. His cock stood straight out from his pants. The head was clear of its foreskin which I recovered with a slow gentle pull. I had barely enough time to pull the skin over the head before I reached it with my mouth.

When I took his cock into my mouth, Mark let out a long groaning sigh. This was a much better dessert than the peach melba, I thought to myself. I gorged myself on his cock, slurping and sucking on it until it throbbed in my mouth. When I had him so hot that I thought he might cum, I took one last stroke and pulled my mouth off of it. I took my other hand and stuffed his aching member back into his pants. Once I got it back into his boxers (which was a feat in itself) I massaged it some more through the material. All the while Mark was purring like a kitten. I zipped up his pants and climbed back on top of him. "I want to save some for later" I told him and we began to kiss some more.

We kissed and hugged for a while more before we both agreed that we had better leave. The park wasn't a very good place to be late at night. You could never tell what sort of people might happen by and we didn't want to get into a predicament.

Mark shook the sand from the blanket and threw it around my shoulders. Taking the other end he wrapped himself in it and we walked back to the van wrapped in the blanket. Under the blanket I was able to walk with my arm around his waist and stopping frequently to kiss him. It was very dark and the blanket was dark blue. Anyone that was there would have to be quite close to us to make out what we were up to. So, we took advantage of the darkness and made love all the way back to the van. It took us a minute or two to get from the van to the shore but the trip back to the van took many more. When we got to the van Mark pushed me against the side of the van. He took me by the hands and stretched them out to the sides. I was totally helpless in that position and Mark moved up against me, pressing his crotch against me then kissing me hard on the mouth. I almost came in my pants it was so erotic. Boy did it ever feel good.

The drive back to Mark's place took about a half hour or more. I sat and watched him as he drove. Everyting he did was sexy. Every move he made was sensual and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. As we drove we held hands. All the way to his house. It was all we could do but it kept us in contact with each other and that was enough. For then.

Finally, we arrived at Mark's house. We went straight to the bedroom without even turning on a light. Once in the bedroom we stood in front of each other and embraced. "I don't want you to spend the night" Mark said in a matter of fact tone. My heart immediately started to race as I absorbed his message. I began to feel uneasy and fearful that I must have done something wrong. My heart was racing and sinking fast. I was unable to respond and just looked up at him. "I want you to spend the rest of your life with me instead" was his next comment. The sudden reversal caught me off guard. My head almost burst as I tried to take in this final message. I jumped on Mark, literally! I was unable to breath. Mark had taken my breath away and I knew I couldn't speak without breaking down and sobbing. "Shoot" I thought. I surely didn't want to let him see me cry. I hugged Mark tighter than ever before. This was all too good to be true.

Part 8 - Unlocking the Closet Door [03/04/1999]

Mark was able to lift me off the floor with ease. I was wrapped so tightly against him that all he had to do was lean back slightly and my feet left the floor. I lifted my legs and wrapped them around him. I'm not that heavy at 140 lbs but Mark was quite a bit older than me. I was amazed at the relative ease that he was able to carry me over to the bed. When we reached the bed I dropped my legs back down to the floor and sat on the edge of the bed. I was staring at Mark as he stood in front of me.

As Mark began to unbutton his shirt I reached out and started to undo his belt, then undo his pants. I shuffled forward far enough to be able to touch his crotch with my nose as I continued to undo his pants. Mark finished taking off his shirt, revealing his sleeveless undershirt. I looked up at him, ogling his beautiful chest and shoulders. His white chest hair was curling out from beneath his undershirt. It was an incredible sight.

I unzipped his pants and spread them open enough to allow them to slide down past his hips and then to the floor. Mark stepped out of them and kicked them aside. His undershirt was outside of his boxers and I slipped both my hands underneath, reaching up to the center of his chest. I rubbed my face in his crotch which had a noticeable bulge. I began to nip his cock through his boxers as I continued to massage his chest. I loved the feel of his chest hair as it passed between my fingers. The sensation was more pleasureable for me than him, I think.

Reluctantly, I slid my hands down from his chest and moved them around to the back of his boxers. I forced my hands inside the elastic band and without pulling them down I reached around and cupped his ass cheeks. His ass was smooth to the touch and was even more sensual with the feel of his shorts against the back of my hands. Mark pulled off his undershirt and tossed it on the floor. A quick look upward and I could see him in all his splendour. He began to massage my shoulders as I slid his boxers down to his ankles. He left them there as I took one of his balls into my mouth. I was careful to be gentle. I didn't like rough sex and had always liked the gentle side of sex. I loved sucking on his balls with his cock dancing on my face. I particularly liked the teasing aspect of focusing on his balls and neglecting his throbbing cock. But I knew as surely Mark did that I wouldn't be able to resist his hardened member for long.

Taking his cock in one hand, I peeled back the foreskin and took the head into my mouth. I restricted myself to the head only. I slowly bobbed on and off of the head while stroking his shaft with my hand. I continued to stroke his shaft with a quickening pace until my hand was striking my mouth with enough force that it became a battle of sorts for ownership. Mark was enjoying it very much as I kept up the rhythm. The head of his cock became engorged and spread out like an ice cream cone. It took the shape that it had when flaccid. That was irresistible. My hand lost its place on the shaft and I engulfed his entire cock. The swollen head filled the back of my throat and I felt it hit the lining at the back. It was that faint touch that told you that you had all you could handle. Mark's cock was the perfect length. Not so long that you couldn't get all of it; just enough so that you could get all of it in your mouth and still be able to stick your tongue out and lick his balls on the downstroke.

I don't know who was enjoying the blowjob more, Mark or me. I was sure it was me but Mark was making a lot of groaning and moaning noises which suggested that he was enjoying it immensely. I was still completely dressed so I decided to let Mark get into bed and I would have an opportunity to get naked and jump him. I pulled myself off of his cock and stood in front of him. Mark started to unbutton my shirt as I took my pants off. I don't think I had ever got undressed so quickly. My clothes were lucky to survive the ordeal without being torn apart.

We stood together in the nude and kissed each other. My cock was planted in Mark's crotch and his was crushed between us. This was one of my favourite things to do. Standing, we were able to explore each others bodies with our hands and tongues; better than being in bed. Pulling away from him slightly, I slipped my hand under his balls and slid it through until I had his balls supported by the inside of my elbow. I lifted up slightly and was able to fondle his ass. I loved the feeling of his balls on the soft skin of my forearm. It also gave me an opportunity to give the head of his cock another kiss before we retired to the bed.

Once in bed we resumed our kissing and hugging, intermixed with periods of mutual cocksucking. We maintained this for an hour or so before we got to the point where we could stand it any longer. We were laying on our sides facing each other in a 69 position. I had one foot on the pillow and my leg over Mark's shoulder. He was devouring my cock while I dined on his sweet member. I liked the feeling of his swollen cock head that I started with earlier so I tried to recreate the affect. I clamped his dick in my hand and waited for his cockhead to swell before I let go. I engulfed the whole thing, pumping it as best I could until I felt the rumbling of another orgasm working its way out. I could taste a bit of cum as it started to leak out which made me cum instantly. Mark was ready for my load and milked me with his mouth. Mark rewarded me with a shower of cum that filled my mouth. I timed his ejaculation with a down stroke so that most of it would be shot straight down my throat. I could feel his juices running out and down my throat.

We milked each other dry and lay quietly for a few seconds before repositioning our bodies so that we could share another kiss. The taste of Mark's cum still filled my mouth, sweetened by the wine we had for dinner. Or at least it seemed to be sweeter than before.

Once again, Mark got out of bed and proceeded to put his pyjamas on and get back into bed. When he cuddled into me I could still feel his cock. It was still hard and pressing against me. We covered ourselves and after a few goodnights we went to sleep.

The next morning I got up with Mark and shared breakfast with him. He seemed to enjoy making porridge for both of us. I hadn't had porridge since I was a boy. Mark had a routine for making porridge that reminded me of my boyhood days. To make porridge you had to develop a particular method that only porridge lovers would understand. I was sitting at the table sipping on a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice while watching Mark as he hovered over the stove. His back was to me and he was still in his pyjamas. The back of his neck was clean shaven; evidence of a recent haircut. He looked so loveable that I just had to hug him from behind.

I put my arms around his waist and snuggled into him; being careful not to disrupt his porridge making routine. I kissed the back of his neck then rested my chin on his shoulder. Mark turned to me with a wide smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes. His kitchen faced the rising sun which poured in through the window. I was getting horny as I cuddled into him so I had to back off and let him finish making breakfast.

We chatted over breakfast and when finished I helped him clean the dishes and put them away. Mark told me that he wasn't going to work until late in the afternoon and that he would love it if I would spend the day with him. I assured him that I would love nothing better but I had a project that I had to finish at work and would have to leave. I told him that I would call during my lunch break.

One of the most difficult things I had ever had to do was leave Mark that morning. As I left, Mark stood in the doorway; watching me until I was out of sight.

I went home and changed before going to work. I had a major project coming to completion and was hoping to get a few days off when it was done. Unfortunately my company had other plans. The installation crew had an unexpected absence and someone would have to go instead. I was nominated to fill in for the absent installation crewman. I was flattered to be considered but I knew it meant that I would be gone for weeks. I called Mark the instant I found out but there was no answer. I guessed that he must have gone out for the morning. I figured I would try later on. The installation crew was leaving that night and I would only have a couple of hours to get ready. That meant that I would only have about an hour to see Mark before leaving. I wasn't sure if I would catch him so I decided to write him a note and leave it for him. That way, even if I did get to see him, he could read the note later.

I went to my office and sat down to write the note.

Moi petite ange;

Mark, as luck would have it, I have been volunteered to 
do an installation job for my company. The installation 
is in Oklahoma City and I will be gone for a couple of 
weeks. The whole job will take about 5 months and I will 
be going back and forth until it is finished.

I know that we have only had a few days together but 
they have been the happiest days of my life. I love you 
and can't bear to be away from you. I will be thinking 
of you every minute of the day and will be counting the 
days until I see you again.

I don't know the address of the hotel that I will be 
staying in but I will send you a note or call you when 
I know. I am in such a fog, I can't even think straight. 
You have had such a powerful influence on me that 
everything I see, smell, hear, touch and taste reminds 
me of you. You have brightened my world and made it a 
nicer place to be. I love you!

I hope I will get to see you before I leave. Even if I 
do I want you to have this note. I can never seem to 
say the things I want to when we're together. I love 
you so much that when we're together I can't keep my 
hands and lips off of you. You are beautiful, you are 
wonderful, you are amazing and I love you.

Your own Donald.

YOD.

I finished the note and folded it in half. I didn't have an envelope so I went to the stationary closet to get one. While I was looking for an envelope, one of the other machinists went into my office to see me. When I returned he was sitting facing my desk. He had the note open on the desk and had obviously been reading it. When I walked in and noticed the open note I was horrified. I hurriedly snatched up the note but it was too late. Ben had already read it. When I grabbed the note, Ben stood up and looked me straight in the eye and in a derogatory tone he exclaimed "I don't fucking believe it" and walked out the door.

I ran after him and stopped him in the hallway. "Please come back to my office" I pleaded. He and I had always been good friends. Not buddies but a close working relationship. He hesitated for a few seconds then agreed. I closed the door and asked him to sit down. I proceeded to explain to him that I hadn't meant to deceive anyone but I couldn't change the way I was. I didn't go into any details about Mark because I think that would have made things worse. I explained that I wasn't a pedophile or anything like that. I simply preferred the company of men. Ben was visibly uncomfortable with my confession so I turned the conversation over to our working relationship. Ben was going to the installation site with me along with 4 others. It was going to be very awkward for both of us. I asked and pleaded with him to give me a chance to finish the installation before saying anything to the other guys. I asked him to wait and see if he really needed to let the cat out of the bag.

Ben was actually pretty good about the whole thing but I knew that some of the other guys wouldn't be so nice. I knew that this would be my last installation and when it was done I would be forced to leave the company. I had worked there for 14 years and it would be hard to leave but even harder to stay. Ben agreed and shook my hand. "I can't believe it; all this time, who'd have guessed" he said. Then he asked me if anyone else knew. I had to say that I wasn't sure but if anyone else knew they never indicated to me that they did.

I folded the note and stuffed it in an envelope and shoved it in my pocket. Ben had left my office and I stood there shaking with terror. I had a few choices and I knew I would have to decide which one to pick. Hope Ben would keep the secret to himself and go on as if nothing ever happened, tell everyone and hope for the best and try to keep my job or just up and quit. The later seemed the most painless of all the options. I realized that for the last few minutes I wasn't thinking about Mark. It was the first time since I first saw him at the recycle center that he wasn't foremost in my mind. How would I tell Mark. He too was still in the closet and I don't think he would be able to explain an openly gay friend to his friends. I was devastated and quickly sinking into a dark depression.

I couldn't face Mark. I dropped off the note in his mailbox and left without making any attempt to see him. I had added a few lines to the note explaining that I had to leave in a hurry and would call him on the Monday next. I drove from Mark's house to mine and cried all the way. I was so afraid that Mark was a chapter in my life that was closed.

I was up all night thinking about the incident. Every time I recalled Ben's reaction to the note my body would vibrate with fear and anxiety. The morning came and I was off to the airport. I met Ben and the gang at a coffee shop by the airport. I could tell that Ben had so far kept his promise but he was noticeably avoiding any contact with me and maintained a professional distance.

It was 3 days before Monday arrived and I had to call Mark. I apologized for not calling sooner and he was completely understanding. I pretended that nothing had happened but I think Mark sensed my uneasyness. During the next two weeks we spoke on the phone every night. The last thing I wanted to hear at the end of every day was Mark's voice. I fell even more in love with him during those two weeks. I wrote him a letter every day and sometimes two. Every chance I had I would pick up greeting cards and post cards and send them to him. It was the only way I could deal with our separation.

I still had a decision to make and each day working with Ben made it more clear what the decision would ultimately be. The end of the two weeks was up and it was time for us to go home for a 3 day rest. Our next stint would last 4 whole weeks. The second stage of the installation had to be done in a non-stop fashion. If we were lucky we would finish a few days early but 4 weeks was a fair estimate.

Mark wanted to pick me up at the airport but I had to decline the offer. Mark didn't know that Ben had found out. So I couldn't expose him to the chance that Ben might recognize him and make things worse. I told Mark that I would call him when I got home. I would have to explain things to him before we could go forward. I hoped he would understand.

Part 9 - The Decision [03/07/1999]

I was glad to finally arrive home. The last couple of weeks had been very trying; having to face Ben and the gang every day and knowing that Ben was aware of my lifestyle.

I was doubly saddened by the fact that I had to tell Mark that he couldn't pick me up at the airport. Ben and the rest of the boys left the airport and I was left waiting for a cab ride home. Ben would normally have dropped me off but he didn't offer this time. It was awkward having to acknowledge that he felt strong enough about the whole situation that he felt it necessary to treat me that way. "Oh well," I thought, it was his problem and not mine. If he couldn't deal with my sexual orientation then there was nothing more I could do.

As soon as I got in the house I called Mark. It was after 10 in the evening and I think I woke him. He said that I didn't but his voice was all sleepy sounding. I thought it was sweet that he didn't want me to think that I disturbed him. We spoke about my trip back and more idle small talk. When he asked me if I was coming over, I declined. I still hadn't told him about my problem at work. I told him that I was just going to go to bed. Of course, Mark suggested that it would be a crime for me to have to crawl into an empty bed. I reminded him that we still had a date to go to Edwards Gardens. He recalled the missed date and suggested that we go in the morning. I agreed to meet him at his place in the morning and we would leave from there. We spoke for a while longer before saying goodnight.

I decided that I would have to tell Mark about Ben discovering my love note. It was causing me a considerable amount of grief and I thought Mark might be able to give me some advice. Our relationship was only a few weeks old but I trusted him to be honest and open with me. Besides, there wasn't anyone else that I could confide in that would understand the situation. Mark had been in the closet all his life and I was sure that there must have been a time when he was faced with a similar circumstance.

I hung up the phone and proceeded to unpack. I was tired but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. I finished unpacking and got into bed. I regretted not taking Mark up on his offer to go to his house. The more I thought about it the more relaxed I became and pretty soon I dozed off.

I woke up early and after a quick shower and shave I got ready to go visit Mark. It was about 8 in the morning but I knew Mark would be up. I hoped to catch him before he had breakfast. When I arrived the gate that was at the end of the walkway leading to his sidedoor was open. He told me he would open the gate when he got up and that I should just come in. The gate was not open enough to pass through so I had to open it a bit more. As I put my hand on it, I got a flash of Mark coming out in his pyjamas to open it. It was such a vivid impression that it seemed as if I had actually watched him. I closed the gate behind me; and as I walked the 20 or so feet to the door I could feel my anxiety mounting.

When I opened the door, Mark was waiting for me. He pulled me into the house and wrapped his arms tightly around me. We stood in the hallway, embracing and kissing for a long, long time. I was so glad to see him and so relieved that he was glad to see me that my anxiety went away. "Have you eaten?" Mark asked. I really wasn't hungry. I told him that I hadn't eaten but I wasn't hungry. "Let's get something to eat at Edwards Gardens". Mark seemed ok with the suggestion. Neither one of us was able to resist kissing and hugging some more so we moved to his living room and sat on one of two couches.

Mark's living room had one wall of solid brick and the opposite wall was all glass. The sun was pouring in through the windows. The couch we sat on had a dark green velvety material. Before long we were reclined, with me laying on top of him and locked in a long passionate kiss. It was strange but he seemed more sexy and attractive with his clothes on. It was like I had met him for the first time. I made up my mind that we wouldn't have sex right then. Nothing but foreplay, I figured. I wanted the whole day to be foreplay. Not having sex would add a little heat and tension to the day and I was looking forward to it. I think Mark must have had the same thought because he made no effort to get naked.

We hugged and kissed and listened to music that Mark had playing. He had the radio tuned to a classical station. A slow piece began to play and I asked Mark if he would like to dance. I wasn't quite sure how he would react but to my surprise and delight he agreed. We stood in the sunlight and danced to the music on the radio. It was a song that I was familiar with because I had heard it the last time I was with Mark. I had come to familiarize the tune with Mark.

As we danced I nuzzled my face into Mark's neck. Clinging onto him we circled around and around the room. The warmth of his body accentuated the sweet smell of aftershave that went directly to my brain. I felt as if he were liquid and I could drink him in. When the song ended we stood motionless in the middle of the room, hugging each other tigher than ever before. I lifted my head from his neck and kissed him one more time. Mark took my head in his hands and squeezed my cheeks as he finished the kiss. Pulling away he said "welcome home". "I missed you" was my response. Hugging him, I whispered "I love you" in his ear. "I love you to" Mark responded. It was satisfying to hear the words because I knew they were sincere.

We arrived at Edwards Gardens at about 10 oclock. There were a few people there in the greenhouses but the grounds were almost deserted. The gardens occupied the two banks of a river with a few bridges for crossing from side to side. I had never been there before and was in awe of the beauty and immensity of the place. It must have been at least 15 or 20 acres of gardens, trails through forest areas, lawns and a huge rose garden.

The path to the river wound its way through a forest with wooden foot bridges that spanned the gorges. We stopped on every bridge and just breathed in the beauty. Nothing on earth could come close to the serenity of being with Mark in the middle of a forest in mid morning. The sun had yet to heat up the day and everywhere you looked there was something pleasing to the eye. We walked for a couple of hours among the trees and flower gardens before we realized that it was lunch time. There was a restaurant attached to one of the greenhouses so we decided to eat there. All the walking had given me quite an appetite.

It's difficult to remember what we had to eat. I was so mesmerized by the beauty that was all around me that I found it difficult to concentrate on anything. Finishing lunch, I realized that I had forgotten all my troubles. This wonderous place, with such a perfect man was in such direct contrast to my life outside this relationship. All of a sudden I was thinking about Ben and the rest of the guys back at the shop. Mark noticed the sudden change on my face and asked me what was wrong. "Oh, nothing; I was just thinking about us" I said.

"What were you thinking?" Mark asked. "I have to go back in a couple of days and I miss you so much when we're not together". "It's my job but I find it hard to think about anything but you".

Mark reached out and squeezed my hand, "I miss you too, but you have to do what's necessary, everyone has to work at something". That was his way of saying that he understood. He could see my pain but he didn't know that there was more to it than just being away.

After lunch, Mark went to his van and picked up a bag. He took it with him as we went back to exploring the gardens. We walked for another hour or so before we came upon a small stone bench hidden in an enclave of flowering shrubs. Neither one of us knew what kind of trees they were but they had a heavenly scent. The stone bench was just big enough for two people to sit on. We sat down and was able to steal a few quick hugs and kisses. More heaven.

Mark reached into the bag that he had been carrying and pulled out a walkman tape recorder. He placed the headset on my head and pressed play. I almost died when the music started and it was the same song that we had danced to that morning. How could he possibly have known that I associated that song with him? I just looked up at him and glared into his eyes. He was smiling at me, knowing that he had choosen the perfect gift for the perfect time. We took turns listening to the music while holding hands. If I live to be a thousand, I will never experience anything more tender and loving than that moment in time.

Around 4pm we decided to head back home. On the way back to the parking lot we stopped at the greenhouse restaurant and bought a couple of drinks. We carried them to the van but stopped on the way to drink them. There was a tree sitting all by itself in the middle of a big lawn just beside the parking lot. We sat under it and rested our backs against the trunk. We were sitting on opposite sides of the tree. Sipping our drinks we spoke. I told Mark that I would probably be gone for a month before I would see him again. He floored me with the suggestion that he could come visit me. It had never occured to me to have him fly down to meet me but it was a great idea. Hell, he could even fly down WITH me. "What a great idea" I told him.

We talked about the possibility and practicality of Mark flying to the site with me but after much debate we decided that even though it sounded like a great idea, it probably would turn out to be pretty boring for him. Afterall, I was working 12 hours a day and wouldn't have much time to spend with him.

We were nude and in bed within minutes of getting back to Mark's place. He was still as gorgeous as I'd remembered. It had been a perfect day and now it was time for a perfect night. All of the anticipation of the day culminated in our clawing at each other in a wild frenzy.

We rolled around in bed for a while before I licked my way down to his crotch. My patience was rewarded with the presence of Mark's beautifully hard cock, standing ready for action. I could never grow tired of watching his cock as I peeled back the foreskin. There was a wet spot on Mark's stomach where his cockhead had leaked precum. I rubbed the wet spot with the tip of my finger, massaging the secretion into his skin as I engulfed the head of his cock with my mouth.

Spinning around on the bed, we began a lengthy 69 session. I was enjoying myself so much I found myself squeezing and hugging Mark's hips as I tried desperately to get more of him into me. We both had to stop in order to avoid cumming too quickly. I returned to Mark's mouth and began to kiss him again. I had my arms wrapped around his head. I was back on top of him with my cock between his legs and jammed into his crotch. The feeling was incredible. There was ample spit and sweat to provide lubrication for a frictionless humping.

Mark paused our routine and asked me to massage his back. "My back is my hot spot" he informed me as he rolled onto his stomach. "Rub my back" he asked as he settled down with his head on the pillow. I didn't need to be asked. I really enjoyed putting my hands all over his body and this would be as much of a treat for me as it was for him. I began to kiss the back of his neck and shoulders and slowly moved my tongue down his spine. Intermittently, I began to lightly massage his shoulders and back. Each time I moved towards his shoulders, my cock would press against his ass cheeks. Soon I was incorporating my tongue, hands and cock in a trilogy of contact. Finally I leaned forward and rested my chest against his back; supporting my weight so that I could rub my chest against him while kissing the back of his neck. With a little more forward motion I was able to reach his ear with my mouth and begin to kiss and tongue it.

All this was just too much for me. I rolled off Mark and gave him a nudge so that he would roll over onto his back. When he did I switched back to an over and under 69. I plunged my cock into Mark's waiting mouth while simultaneously taking him in mine. Mark reached up and with one finger he touched my ass hole. The feeling was unbearable and I came instantly into his mouth. As I came, Mark began to gasp. Trying to cope with the load at first but then trying to resist his own impending explosion. He gasped a couple more times before starting to convulse. He still had my cock in his mouth when he began to whimper. His cock exploded in my mouth and blasted out in a gush. I couldn't handle his cock as it kept spewing into me. His cock was too large to allow any room for its liquid load.

I pulled up and spun myself around. We lay beside each other, slumped into one happily spent pile. This time Mark didn't leave the bed. He simply pulled a blanket over us and we went to sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night and discovered, however, that Mark, at some point had gotten up and put his pyjamas on. That was ok with me because he looked very sexy in them.

We spent the next few days together. In bed, going for long walks in the park and having long, long conversations. I couldn't bring myself to telling him about my problems at work and decided to leave it for another time.

All too soon it was time to leave town. My flight was at 6 in the evening so we spent all day in bed. Mark insisted that he drive me to the airport and I reluctantly agreed. I really didn't think that there would be much of a chance that we would be spotted. Besides, I wanted to spend every available minute I could with him.

When we got to the airport, I asked him to drop me off at the departures level. It was really busy and so we had to make a hasty farewell. I stood at the curb and watched his van until it was completely out of site before I went inside.

Inside the airport I met up with Ben and the gang. We had about an hour before our flight so we decided to go to the bar for a drink. Ben was still as distant as before. Suddenly I was back in a horrible place. I felt very uncomfortable and began to realize that I was going to have to choose between one life and the other. Moreover, I was going to have to deal with the problem of working where people knew I was gay.

The project went according to schedule and we were done in 4 weeks. Four painfully slow weeks. I talked to Mark every day but it still wasn't enough. I wrote him everyday as well. Usually after talking to him I would write him a letter and mail it the next day. We were scheduled for a break but we weren't going to be able to go home. I was heartbroken when I found out that we would have to start the next stage of installation after only a one day break. I called Mark and told him the bad news. It would be at least two months before I would be back. He decided that he was going to visit.

It was another 3 weeks before Mark was able to get away. I talked the company into flying me home for one day and then return. That way, Mark and I would be able to travel together. I was so excited to travel with Mark. We got on the plane and proceeded to have the best flight ever. We talked and laughed for the whole trip. The plane had a lot of empty seats so we had the run of the place.

It was a 4 hour plane trip but we finally made it. I let Mark stay in my room but he had to be discreet. It wasn't unusual for me to have people drop in from time to time. I wasn't sure how I would explain another man in my room. I don't think Mark felt very comfortable with the arrangement so he decided to only stay for one of day.

We spent the time we had in our usual way; locked in each other arms. I left for work in the morning and couldn't think of anything else all day except Mark. We finished early that day; thanks to my insisting that we work through lunch. I raced back to my hotel. I opened the door to the room and when I entered I was greeted by a sight that nearly made me melt. Mark was sitting on the end of the bed staring out the window. When I entered the room he turned his head toward me. He didn't even have the TV on. It looked like he had been sitting there all day, waiting for me. It was so incredibly sweet and he looked so vulnerable. I loved him so much. We hugged and kissed each other before going out for something to eat. We returned later that night and I had to say goodbye the next morning. We enjoyed each other that night, knowing that it might be weeks before we would see each other again.

I left for work in the morning and Mark would take a cab to the airport later. Once again we would be separated. But only by miles. Our hearts would always be joined. I called as soon as I got back that evening but there was no answer at Mark's. His flight must have been delayed. I decided to wait until the next night to call.

The next few weeks were unbearable. No Mark and the constant glances from Ben and the growing suspicion that he had told the others. It wasn't just Ben who was giving me the cold shoulder; it was the whole gang.

My decision was a most difficult one to make. The bonus money that I would get after finishing the installation would give me enough money to get by for a few months. The company paid me well and I had a few bucks put away. I agonized over my decision but the outcome was inevitable; I had to quit my job. Once I made the decision, the next couple of weeks became even more trying. I couldn't wait to get back home.

It had been almost six months since I met Mark. We still spoke every day and I loved him more than ever before.

The day I returned I put in my notice. The company didn't even ask me to stay. In fact, they decided to pay me my notice time and escorted me out of the building. Even though I was their best and most experienced installation person, they didn't waste a second clearing out my office. It was very painful to have to leave that way. There was no going away lunch or farewell good luck affair. I knew I had made the right decision. My new problem was where would I go now?

The house where I was living was a rental and I had already given my notice a month ago. I decided that I would have to tell Mark but I couldn't figure out what I would tell him. He had already encouraged me to come live with him and give up the rental. I knew he would understand that part.

I told Mark that night that I had left my job. I came clean about what had been going on. It was the first time that I had ever seen Mark get upset. He was angry with me for not telling him. "What the hell do you think I'm here for?" "I love you and want you to be happy" he continued. He went on to tell me that the only thing that mattered to him was my happiness and how hurt he was that I didn't confide in him about the trouble I was having at work. He was very apologetic about having caused me so much pain. "All the crap I had to put up with at work is nothing in comparison to the love that I have for you and I would gladly do it over again". "I will never meet anyone who is as loving as you and I would never trade that for anything" I told him.

Mark couldn't sustain his anger and soon he was holding me in his arms. I was relieved that I had finally told him. I could now get on with my life with Mark.

Part 10 - The Perfect Job [03/17/1999]

Being unemployed was more depressing than I would ever had imagined. It had only been a couple of weeks but it seemed longer. Mark was very supportive but I felt very badly to impose on him. I spent a few nights at his place but couldn't bring myself to staying full time. Whenever we spoke about it, Mark was always quick to insist that I stay as long as I wanted. I still had a few weeks left on my lease and decided that it would be best if I moved in with Mark when the lease ran out.

I had stored most of my belongings in a storage center. I brought my clothes and a few other items with me and made the move official. I figured that I would decide what to do with my stuff later. In the meantime I would look for a new job while spending as much time with Mark as possible.

The next few weeks were spent mostly with me wrapped around Mark. He was still going to his store a few days a week and sometimes in the afternoon. Whenever he would leave, I would busy myself reading through the want ads and making calls to some of my contacts in the business.

I took a couple of freelance jobs which kept me from using up all of my resources. One of the jobs that I took required me to work most of the night. I wouldn't get in until 3 or 4 in the morning. All I could think of was getting home and crawling in bed beside Mark who would be all warm and cuddly. One morning, after getting in around 4, I awoke about 9 and heard voices coming from the living room. Mark had visitors and I could hear them talking, even though not clearly enough to make out what was being said. It suddenly occured to me that Mark had told me that he would be having people over that day. I lay in bed and waited for them to leave. It wasn't long before I heard the door close. Mark was quietly moving about the house and as he came into the bedroom, he was being as quiet as possible. He thought that I was still asleep and I pretended to be. It was very endearing to hear Mark as he crept about the bedroom, trying not to wake me. I heard him slip out of his clothes.

I was turned towards the edge of the bed so that Mark couldn't see my face. I felt him gently lift the blankets and slide into bed. As he lowered the blankets he cozied into me, wrapping his arm around my chest. I was still very tired but the feel of his crotch against my ass felt so nice and the way he was trying to settle in without being noticed, turned me to jelly. I spun around and threw my arms around him, rolling him onto his back and climbing on top of him. "Good morning" I said, finishing with my mouth planted firmly on his.

We continued to kiss and caress each other for a couple of hours before Mark told me that he had to go to the store for a few hours. I told him that I had a bit of paperwork to do and that I would finish before he returned. I watched as Mark got dressed and left for work. It was particularly enjoyable to watch him cram his cock into his underwear. His cock was ready for action and it wouldn't have taken much for me to get busy on it. But I knew he had to go and one thing I learned was that when we got going it always took a long time before we finished. When we made love it was for hours.

I had finished doing my paperwork and made a call to my client to check in. I was surprised when I was asked to come in for an interview for a full time position. Out of the blue. Apparently, they were impressed with my work and wanted me to join their team full time. The only catch was that it was in a city a thousand miles away. I was invited to come in and discuss the opportunity and to meet the director of operations. The director was in town for a couple of days and had reviewed my work and wanted to meet with me. I agreed to meeting with him the next day. I was excited at the prospect that someone liked my work enough to make me an offer. The only thing wrong about it was the location. It meant that I would have to move.

I didn't say anything to Mark that evening. He came home with flowers and a bag of brown sugar. "The flowers are for you and the sugar is for us to put on our porridge" he said. He couldn't have imagined how that made me feel. I felt my heart sink in my chest when he told me that he would make us a hearty breakfast of porridge and toast in the morning and top it off with sweet brown sugar. He was so excited about doing such a simple chore that the more he spoke the worse I felt. He had no idea what was about to happen and he was proceeding as if we would be together forever. I felt awful but managed to show shared enthusiasm.

The morning came and after I awoke I went directly to the shower. Mark was up earlier and had already showered. He was busy in the kitchen making breakfast. When I came in he was standing at the counter squeezing fresh orange juice. He had already gone through more than a half dozen oranges and produced two fair sized glasses of juice. "Now for the magic touch" he said as he took a bottle of liquid sweetener from the cupboard and poured a few drops in each glass. After stirring both glasses he handed me one and we drank together. He was right, the sugar made the orange juice taste amazingly sweet. It actually tasted more orangy with the sugar in it than without; go figure. Mark had already finished making the porridge and toast so we sat down to eat. Like every other morning, we sat beside each other at the corner of the table. Neither one of us could stand to sit across from each other, not wanting to miss an opportunity to be close. Only when we went out to eat would we sit across from each other.

We finished eating and Mark cleared the table. He began to load the dishes in the dishwasher as I looked on. He was still in his pyjamas and as always he looked incredible. As he was stooping over to put in the last of the dishes I came up behind him and put my arms around his stomach. I squeezed him tightly and kissed him on the back of the neck. When he stood up he placed his hands over mine and leaned back onto me. I turned my head and placed my ear on his shoulder. Emotionally, I began to tell him about my interview. When I told him that the job was in another city he paused for a second then said, "I knew you wouldn't last long", "a guy like you is bound to get snapped up fast". He was very flattering and encouraging. Mark was always telling me how smart and talented I was. He had a much higher opinion of me than I had of myself. I came to accept the fact that his love for me prevented him from seeing the real me; just an ordinary guy.

Mark could see the pain in my face as I spoke about the position and having to move to another city. I loved him very much and told him that he was the most important thing in the world to me. However, I needed to work and couldn't just sit around his place forever. "It's not my place", he corrected; "it's our place, it's your place and always will be". "My heart is here and it is as much yours as this house is" he continued. I didn't know what to say so I just lunged at him and hugged him tightly. I held onto him for what seemed like an eternity. It was also the only way that I could keep from breaking down. My chest still hurt and the tighter I hugged Mark the more I could feel my heart bursting.

When I walked into the interview, at some level I was hoping that it would go badly and I wouldn't be asked to join the firm. What I didn't know was that the director had already made up his mind and all he wanted to do was meet me. He was a very nice man, younger than I expected. He was about 45 and very athletic looking. We spoke for a while and I found out that he was in the armed forces reserve. A lieutanant colonel. A real man's man. I was a bit intimidated by his obvious masculinity and how he might react to my lifestyle. But he seemed genuinely convinced that I produced good work and that was all he was interested in. I began to think that it might be in my best interest to decline the offer and stay with Mark. I told him that I was very flattered that he wanted me to come work for him but I would have to give it some consideration. Pete (the director of operations) told me to wait for his offer.

"I'm moving on to the VP position and I need someone to step into my shoes". "I would like that someone to be you." His words rang in my ears. I wasn't being offered a job, I was being handed a golden opportunity. When he told me what the salary and benefits were, I was flabbergasted. I was being offered more money than I could ever have imagined and with the promise of huge bonuses, based on performance. It was the proverbial "an offer I couldn't refuse". However, my feelings for Mark overshadowed the offer and I insisted that I would have to think about the offer. I told Pete that I was very flattered and that I really felt that we could work well togeter. He seemed to understand and told me that he expected such a response. "Think about it and call me tomorrow" he said. I left the meeting and returned home to Mark.

I told Mark what had happened and he was happy for me. He told me that I would have to decide based on what I thought was right for me. He was so goddammed logical! I wanted him to make the decision for me. I wanted him to tell me not to go. I wanted him to tie me to the bed and forbid me from even considering the offer. But he did no such thing. All he wanted was for me to be happy and if that meant taking the job of a lifetime, then so be it.

In my mind, I had already made the decision but I had to convince my heart that it was the right thing to do. I made love to Mark that evening as if it were the last time. I think Mark must have known as well because he reacted in kind. We spoke very little that evening other than uttering multiple "I love yous". I spent a lot of time that night studying every inch of Mark's body. From the small mole on his forearm to the extra wrinkles on his earlobes.

The next morning, Mark went off to the store while I wrestled with my decision. About 10am I made the call. Pete was very glad that I was taking the position. "I'll see you in the office tomorrow" he said. "Pardon me, I asked". "We don't have any time to lose, pack your bags and meet me at the airport this afternoon." "I already have your flight and hotel booked; flight leaves at 5 o'clock tonight."

I hung up the phone and stumbled to the couch. I just sat there, paralyzed with the reality that I would be gone in a few hours and not knowing when I would be returning. My first reaction was to call Mark at the store. When I called I was told that Mark was out visiting a supplier and wouldn't be back until 4pm. My heart sank. My mind raced as I tried to figure out how I could get in touch with Mark before I left. But, reality was that there was no way for me to contact him before he returned home; and I wouldn't be there.

I had to write Mark a note to explain what was happening. I only had a couple of hours and there was no way to get in touch with him. I went to the office that Mark had and sat down to write him a note. When I sat in the chair I could feet Mark as I had so often seen him behind the desk. The cushion that was on the chair was worn and crushed by Mark's years of sitting on it. I rubbed my hands over the worn wooden edge of the desk, feeling Mark's presence in every grain. As I slid the desk drawer open to get a pen I could feel my emotions getting the better of me. Everything I touched reminded me of Mark and my hand shook as I started to write the letter.

My Petite Ange;

The day has come to soon; life is so cruel. I love you more 
than you will ever know and I must rip myself from you. I 
have been informed that I must leave today and my attempts 
to reach you have failed. I will call you at the earliest 
convenience and let you know where and how to reach me. This 
is truly a great opportunity for me but it will be empty 
satisfaction without you to share it with. You have become 
my life. I will think of you constantly, as I have since I 
met you. 

I cannot find the words to convey my feelings. To tell you 
a thousand times that I love you is inadequate and to hug 
you a million times is a million times too few. 

I love you,

Y.O.D.

I finished writing the note and folded the page. My tears were running down my cheek and splashing onto the folded page. A fitting sealer to the most hurtful thing I had ever had to do. I drew two intertwined hearts on the page and left it for Mark to find on his desk.

I arrived at the airport at about 4 o'clock and immediately ran to the telephone. I let the phone ring a couple of dozen times, praying that Mark would answer. There wasn't any answer. I tried a couple more time but each time there was no answer.

The flight to Dallas took 4 hours. Pete talked constantly about his plans and in some strange way it seemed to calm me down. I loved to work and this man obviously did so as well. Pretty soon we were engrossed in a conversation about Pete's vision of where he wanted the company to go. At first I was merely trying to hide my emotions but eventually I began to accept my decision and joined in the conversation.

Always in the back of my mind was the lingering question; when would I see Mark again? And the more crippling question; how heart broken would Mark be?

Part 11 - Time Flies [03/21/1999]

It was several weeks later and my ache for Mark hadn't subsided. I was finding it difficult to concentrate on work. I noticed the impact that it was having and wondered if it was noticeable to anyone else. I was putting in 14 hour days and worked every weekend since arriving. I had to just to keep up with an incredibly busy place.

I had talked with Mark several times over the past several weeks but it occurred to me that I had been away for almost six months. Being so busy I let the time slip away and before long I started to feel afraid to call. This last time it had been a month since I last spoke with Mark and when I called he was surprised to hear from me. "I thought you dropped off the face of the earth" he said in a hushed tone. It was enough to make my heart drop out of my chest. I knew the time was going by quickly for me but for him it must have seemed like an eternity. I tried to convince him that it was just my selfishness that caused the time lapse. I promised to call more often. We spoke for over an hour that night. It was great to hear his voice again.

One might think that I had forgotten Mark or that my initial infatuation was just that. Certainly Mark must have had some indication because it was during the next two years that we drifted apart. My work schedule began to include many business trips that took me all over the US and Europe. Sometimes I would be gone for months at a time and during those trips I rarely had time to call. I never lost my feelings for Mark but never being able to touch him and hold him took its toll.

I called him out of the blue and when he answered he spoke as if we were strangers. I told him that I was going to be in town on business for a couple of days and I would like to see him. "That would be ok" he said and asked me when I would be visiting. It was in late spring and the weather would be nice. I had hoped to take a trip back to Edward's Gardens but thought that it might be a bit too much to ask.

It had been over two years since I saw Mark and when I arrived in town the first thing I could think of was how I would greet him. I rented a car at the airport and started out to Mark's house. I turned the radio off because it interfered with my thoughts and spent the whole trip going over in my mind how the next few hours would turn out.

The company was having a sales meeting at a resort that was only a few minutes from Mark's house and I thought that I might be able to spend my free time with Mark. When I pulled into Mark's driveway I felt a sense of coming home. There wasn't any car in the driveway and I thought that Mark might not be home. I took a quick look around and noticed that the yard wasn't in as well groomed a condition as I remembered. Walking by the garage I peeked in the window and saw that his van was inside. There wasn't the usual rows and rows of firewood which I thought was strange. I walked to the door and rang the door bell. I stood there for what seemed an eternity. Finally, Mark answered the door.

I was putty. Mark said hello and I wanted to cry. His one word foretold of all the pain I had caused him and I knew there was nothing that I could say that would erase that. Mark was wearing work pants which was always a favourite of mine and a short sleeved shirt. The shirt was open to the second button, revealing his polar bear hide. His hair was thinner than before but was still beautifully white and curly. He was a sight to behold and I wanted to rush in and hug him to death. But I couldn't.

He invited me in and we went into the living room. We sat on the couch where we had spent so many evenings cuddling and making love. Only this time Mark maintained his distance. I respected his wishes and even though I wanted to touch him, I resisted the urge. I could feel the tension in the room as we spoke. Mostly about me for a long time before I changed the conversation over to talking about what he was up to. He began to tell me how much had happened in the past couple of years. One of his best friends died of cancer last year and he had a hard time getting over it. The more he spoke the worse I felt. I had been so cruel to him; not being there when it counted even though he was always there for me when I had troubles. Mark was the kind of guy who would never trouble me with his problems but was always there when I had problems. Then he laid the bombshell on me that he was going into the hospital for a prostate operation next month. He told me that he would probably be in for a few days and he wasn't looking forward to it. I couldn't bear to look him in the eye when I told him that I would be in the UK at the time. He didn't sound surprised and told me that it was okay.

We spent the rest of the afternoon talking and eventually we allowed ourselves to lighten up enough to share a few laughs. I stared into his eyes every chance I could and I could see that nothing had changed. Even though neither one of us was going to admit it, I could tell that Mark still felt the same way I did. Just looking at him was better than the best sex I had ever had. And that was with Mark.

Eventually it was time for me to leave. I knew I wouldn't be spending the night with him even though I wanted that to happen more than anything. Before leaving, Mark said something that broke my heart. "Thanks for stopping by" he said as if adressing a stranger. I couldn't stand it and put my arms around him. I hugged him tightly and pressed my face against his. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest and I was sure that Mark could feel it. Suddenly I wasn't sure about Mark's feelings even though my own were, without a doubt, as strong as ever. Possibly stronger.

Mark hugged me back and when he spoke there was a cracking in his voice. "Call me sometime". We spent so much time together in the past that I knew that he meant that he was lonely and he just wanted to keep in touch. I asked myself, "is it too much to ask that I stop being such a jerk and call once in a while". The answer was obvious and I vowed to call as often as possible.

When I left Mark's that time the feeling was different. The last time it was like my heart was being left behind. This time it was as if it was being left outside at the side door. Was visiting a mistake? Was there anyway to regain past love? I thought about that for a long time. Not being able to come up with any reasonable answer I decided that I wasn't going to take the day as a bad omen. I still loved this man more than any other person and there was no way I could let that happen.

Hell, I had assistants and people who could do what I do, probably better than I could. The trip to the UK was a nice cherry job for one of my aides so I decided that I would award the UK job to the most deserving. I was deserving of some vacation time and I could always join the crew in the UK in the final stages of the job. So, with a little investigative work I was able to find out exactly when Mark was going into the hospital and where. I was very careful not to let him know what I had in mind.

It was mid summer and almost three years to the day that we met when I arrived in town. I rented a car and drove straight to the hospital. I thought he might have picked a nicer hospital but who's to say. I made a few inquiries and found out what room he was in. I had already stopped and bought some flowers for him. I spent more time than I should in looking for just the right ones. I wanted to get him the same ones that he had brought for me two years earlier. It was worth it.

I walked into the room and there he was, asleep. He had a bed by the window and shared the room with another man. I pulled the privacy curtain around and sat in the chair next to the bed. It was a little sad to see him like that. He looked so frail with tubes in him and suffering from post operative yukkiness. Sorry, but there's no other way to describe how people look when they have had people sticking things up their ass and dick. You know what I mean.

I was only there for a few minutes before Mark awoke. He looked over at me and took a couple of minutes to focus. "My Donald" he spoke and reached out to take my hand. His face began to light up and I knew I had done the right thing. I had a hard time fighting back the tears. Tears of joy. Tears of knowing that the love I had for him had not gone away. A love that only exists when mutual. I leaned over the bed and gave him as much of a hug as I could and gave him a kiss on the cheek. To my surprise and delight he turned his head and kissed me on the mouth. He then pulled me down onto his chest and we stayed there, absorbing each other.

Like all good things, we had to break our embrace as the nurse entered the room. She came in to check his catheter and how he was feeling. Being the grumpy old curmudgeon he was he complained that everything hurt and the room was too hot. But then he added, as the nurse left the room paying little attention to his outburst; "but I'm feeling much better now that you're here".

My curiosity got the best of me and after the nurse left I convinced Mark to let me check out the surgeon's handiwork. Nasty is all I can say. I hope I never have to have a prostate operation. The tube in the dick looks very painful.

"You're going to have to get rid of that tube if you expect me to suck that" I blurted out in a matter of fact fashion. Glorious laughter followed and we spent the rest of the time laughing and giggling about his predicament. With the emphasis on "dic". Feeling as badly as he did he was in higher spirits than the last time and I was truly relieved to see him laugh. It was such a wonderful gift for me to see him laugh.

He was in the hospital for the next couple of days and I stayed at his house during that time. I noticed that he had allowed things to get a little "wild" in the yard. I knew he wasn't in any shape to do the things that he enjoyed so I did a lot of weeding and pruning and general cleanup. Inside and out. When he came home it was a bit grey outside and so we stayed inside. He was still quite weak and experiencing pain. He had lost an exceptional amount of weight considering his short stay in the hospital. I could feel the difference in the girth of his chest and stomach. "Well, that's one way to get you into shape" I joked. Again we laughed. One of the things that I loved about Mark was his ability to laugh at himself and his willingness to allow me to poke fun at him.

I was very careful not to be too rough with him over the next few days. We spent hours cuddling and hugging and kissing. He wasn't able to move around a lot so I did most of the cooking and cleaning. Even though he protested every time I attempted to do anything. If he had it his way both of us would have starved to death.

The morning after his first day back was a beautifully sunny day. It had just finished raining and the sun was warming up quickly. We had breakfast on the patio and for the first time he noticed that his garden had been cared for. He didn't have to say it but he did. "Thanks". "For what" I asked. "I could never create the beauty that you're capable of but I try". "And I'm not just talking about the garden". We sat in silence and ate. We spent many moments like that. Just melting together. I could feel him becoming more and more a part of me.

For me it was some of the most satisfying times I had ever experienced. Each time he would get an erection we would have to relax and just lay beside each other. I didn't know much about the plumbing but apparently it was a bit too soon. Anyway, I didn't want to break anything. It was pretty hard to resist his gorgeous body and when he got an erection, the site of that perfect cock was mesmerizing. I had to tell him a few times to put his pyjamas on because he looked too damn good in the nude. But that rarely worked because he looked as cute in his pyjamas as he did sexy in the nude.

Pretty soon my vacation was over and it was time for me to go back to work. Mark was able to get around nicely by the time I left and this time we parted as lovers once again. We spent the last fifteen minutes standing in his doorway, locked in an embrace to end all. Up to that point in my life, it was the happiest couple of weeks that I had ever experienced. I hated to go; as always.

That was the summer of 88. Mark and I parted our ways again and I promised, once again, to keep in touch. The summer of 89 and 90 and so on and so on passed by. We talked every couple of months or so and I kept working more and more. One morning I woke up and realized that it had been a long time since we had been together. It was 1998 and we had known each other for 13 years. I hadn't seen Mark in years. We spoke from time to time but I never managed to get back to town.

I was getting close to retirement and was trying to figure out what I was going to do with the rest of my life. Mark and I had grown into good friends and I thought I would pass the question by him. In person. I had a little time left before finishing my current project but I decided to retire in June of 99. I would talk to Mark about my decision then. Until then, I would keep my plans a secret.

Part 12 - The Woodcutter [03/24/1999]

When I look back at all the years that I could have spent with Mark but choose to spend them working my butt off, it makes me wonder if it was all worth it. In a way, I suppose you have to accept decisions that you make.

I had only known Mark for a short time before we were forced apart by my decision to work out of town. My fear and cowardice prevented me from making the one decision that would have made two people incredibly happy. Instead, I spent the past 15 years in a job that I didn't particularly like, in a city where I knew nobody and living a lonely existence. I had plenty of one night stands with good looking guys and had even managed to meet a select few who I considered to be acquaintences. None though, came even close to being considered loving or caring.

I am sure that Mark spent the past 15 years in much the same rut. When we did speak, we never spoke about other people. It was painful for me to think about him with anyone else and I am sure it would be the same for him. But, people need to have someone in their life, even if it is only for a few minutes.

I had planned my retirement for the first of June and decided to call Mark and see how he was doing. We spoke on and off over the past few years and when I called it was no different than any of the last few times. He was glad to hear from me but he maintained a reserved tone, knowing that it was just a phone call and he shouldn't expect anything more. "How are you doing" I asked him. "I'm fucking lonely" was his reply. He seemed annoyed to have to explain himself but it hit home. I felt very bad that his life had become so miserable. In my selfishness I allowed the one man who meant everything to me to sink into a deep depression caused by lonliness. Of course, Mark apologized for crying the blues and told me that his day was much better, now that he was talking to me. I told him that hearing his voice lifted my spirits as well. "I miss you very much" I told him and he replied in kind.

We spoke on the phone several times over the course of the next couple of weeks. I managed to keep my secret to myself and each time I spoke to him I had an increasingly harder time not telling him. Each time he told me how he felt it was heart piercing, knowing that letting him in on my secret would boost his spirits.

It was a beautiful late spring day when I walked out of the office for the last time. The staff and my replacement gave me an emotional send off that will always be a highlight of my life. The whole staff took me out for lunch and by the end of it they had managed to make me wish I had stayed. You see, even though the job wasn't all I thought it would be, the people were amazing. They were the opposite of my last job. Nobody cared if I was gay or not. They never asked, never cared and never made any issue of it. They simply liked me for who I was and I adored each and every one of them.

The moving van had finished loading up my things and were gone. All I had left to do was lock the door to my apartment, turn in the keys to the landlord, get in my car and go. So I did. I was going home.

It was going to take me a couple of days to drive to Mark's place so I had lots of time to think about the best way to surprise him. A lot of my thoughts were about whether or not Mark would even want to see me again after all these years. Sure, we talked from time to time but that only meant that he still considered me a friend. For me, I never lost the love I had for him and hoped he hadn't either.

During the drive, I went over all of the good times that I had with Mark and as the miles went by I found myself sitting in the car, laughing out loud, remembering our gay times. After several hours of reminiscing I realized that when I recalled our moments together I would always be laughing or smiling and a general feeling of contentment and happiness. It was only when I recalled being apart from him that I felt sad and lonely. It started to make sense to me. It was like the sun came out when I realized that every moment I could recall with Mark was a warm and pleasant memory. The only time I could ever remember being truly happy was when I was with him. I knew what I had to do; get back to Mark as fast as humanly possible.

The miles seemed to take years to pass by. The more anxious I was to get back the more time slowed down. I didn't think I would ever get there. I was only a few hours away when darkness started to set in so I decided to stop one last time and get a good rest before driving the final few hours. I found a motel and checked in and went straight to bed. I must have been more tired than I thought. At first I just tossed and turned and couldn't seem to get to sleep. But the next thing I knew it was morning and I awoke to discover I had slept till 10 in the morning. After checking the time I jumped out of bed and ran into the shower. I was in a panic as I tried to get cleaned up and get back on the road. I had planned on arriving in town by lunch but there was no way I could do it now.

I was back on the road with a take out breakfast and cup of coffee. I figured I would get into town around 4pm. Not a disaster I thought. Around 2 oclock it started to rain a little bit but cleared up after about an hour. When the sun came back out it got even warmer than it had been before the rain.

I arrived in town and decided the most direct approach was to go directly to Mark's house. My heart was pounding when I pulled into the driveway at Mark's. I walked up to the front door and with a trembling hand, I reached out and rang the door bell. My anticipation mounted as I stood there waiting for Mark to answer. I rang again and waited. And waited. After several minutes I realized that Mark wasn't at home. Now I was in a quandary about what to do next. I stood there thinking about it for a while and then it occurred to me that he might be at the wood lot. I didn't have anywhere else to go and it wasn't that far so I decided to drive to the wood lot and check it out.

It had been a long time since I was in the area but it hadn't changed much. The fields of hay were still there and that familiar smell of wet grass and the heat of the day filled my car. I came to the entrance of the woodlot and I was happy to see that there were a few vehicles parked inside. I couldn't see if Mark was there or not because I was too far away. I drove in and began to scan the lot for a familiar face. I passed an old van with the back hatch opened up and caught a glimpse of a figure sitting on a log nearby. It was Mark.

My heart was about to explode out of my chest when I saw him. I was still moving and drove to the end of the lot and turned around. I parked my car a good distance from Mark's van and turned off the engine. From where I was sitting I could see Mark but my view was obscured by two other cars that were parked in a row between mine and Mark's van. I got out of the car and began to walk towards Mark. There was a young couple picking up pieces of wood and when I got near them they said hello to me. I stopped and replied to them, then asked them if they were getting any good wood. "Oh yes, we've been coming here every night on our way home". Then, pointing to Mark the young man said "the old man over there is here every night for the past two weeks and he just cuts wood and gives it to us". I was a little surprised that Mark would do such a thing. I knew he was generous but why would he give away wood if he needed it for himself. "That's really nice of him", I said, then asked "why isn't he cutting wood for you today?". The young man told me that since they got there he was sitting in the same spot and hadn't moved. "We asked him if he was alright and he told us he was fine, just tired" the young man added.

I told the young couple that I knew Mark and that I appreciated their concern. I wished them a good day and walked away.

When I got closer to Mark he was sitting with his head down, with his ax in his hands, resting between his knees. I approached from the side with the sun behind me. When Mark heard my footsteps he turned and looked up at me. He held his gaze for a second then raised a hand to shade his eyes. When he realized it was me, he let out a quizzicle, "Don". "Hello, Mark; mind if I take a swing with that thing?" "I don't believe it" he said. "Do you know what day this is?" he asked. I was thinking that it was one of the greatest days in my life but really didn't have an answer to his question. "It's Thursday, isn't it?" Mark looked at me and smiled. His face was lit up like a candle.

"I come here on this day, every year at this time". "It has become a ritual for me to come here and cut wood on this day because it is the anniversary of the day we met" All of a sudden the past few days flashed before my eyes. How could it be that all the driving and stopping and oversleeping had caused me to arrive at this particular time. Mark was still sitting on the log, looking up at me. He turned around, dropping the ax onto the ground. With my heart in my throat I knelt down in front of him and leaned in between his legs and put my arms around him. I didn't care about what the people that could see, would think. I put my arms around him and hugged him so tightly that neither of us could breathe.

Mark was wearing a white t-shirt that was damp with sweat and dirty from dust and sawdust. He was a lot thinner than I remembered but still as burly and fit as ever. He had that unmistakeable Mark smell about him that I found so appealling. We hugged for a few moments then parted. I leaned over and picked up the ax; using it to help me stand back up. "You look incredible" I said to him. And I meant it. I reached out and grasped his outstretched hand, pulling him up off the stump. He was like liquid gorgeous. I was dizzy with delight as I allowed his amazing good looks fill my field of vision. He was wearing gym shorts that were at least one size to small for him in the crotch area. My eyes were pulled to his crotch and the bulge that existed there. Maybe I was dreaming but it seemed like the bulge was firmer than it should be. Thinking that Mark was aroused made me aroused.

I had to close my eyes a few times to get the image of Mark's crotch and his sweaty chest off my mind. Mark was talking but I couldn't understand what he was saying. Coming back down to earth I asked him to repeat himself. He began to ask me several questions all at the same time, "when did you get here, why didn't you let me know you were coming, how long are you here, can you stay for dinner" I didn't have a chance to answer any of his questions before he continued. He started to apologize for looking so dirty. I interupted him to tell him; "I'm home for good, I wanted to surprise you and don't ever apologize for anything, especially how you look". "You look good enough to eat and if you invite me to dinner, I'm afraid you'll have to be the first course!" Mark looked at me for a second then started to laugh. He picked up the ax, swung it over his head and brought it crashing down onto a 12 inch in diameter log that was waiting to be split. It was a piece of rock maple with two big branch stubs sticking out of the sides. The ax went through it and the severed halves dropped to the ground, leaving the ax embedded in the cutting block. Envigorated, Mark pulled the ax from the block and said "lets go home".

I watched him as he tossed the ax into his van and close the hatch. I went back to my car and followed him back to his house.

Mark pulled into the driveway and I parked next to him. He was out before me and opened the garage door. I got out of my car and followed him into the garage. I choked up when I saw the garage. It was piled from floor to ceiling, wall to wall with wood. There was only enough space to walk through to the door to the house. Only then did I realize that he had spent so much time at the wood lot that he had filled his garage. That is why he was giving the wood away; he had no more room. Now I understood why he was so forlorn when I first saw him; he had run out of things to do.

Mark closed the garage door. Before it had time to close completely we were locked in each other's arms. The garage was filled with the smell of cut wood. It was that smell that I had detected earlier as "Marks" smell. "Eau de woodpile" I whispered. "What?" Mark asked. "Your cologne, eau de woodpile" I repeated and we both laughed.

The laughter broke the tension and actually allowed us to breath a little bit. Placing my hands on either side of Mark's face and pulling him toward me, I just stared into his eyes. All the while feeling the tenderness and warmth that passed between my hands and his face. "My god, you are so beautiful" I whispered to him, then kissed him on the forehead. He bowed his head and rested it on my shoulder.

For some reason, Mark was shorter than before. Or maybe I was taller. Whichever it was he seemed to fit nicely under my chin as I wrapped both arms around his head and squeezed it. I rubbed my face into his curly white hair and breathed in his scent. It was like old times; the past decade or so melted away and we were in each other's arms once again.

We continued to hug and kiss while still in the garage. Marks bulging crotch was now more than just a bulge. A well placed hand found his cock stiff and waiting. "You promised me dinner but I'll settle for breakfast in bed, no eggs, just sausage" I said in my cattiest voice. I wanted to make love right there and then but knew it would be better in bed. "Let's go inside" I said and with little ado, we were off.

I was amazed at how great looking a man of his age could be. When he slid his t-shirt off revealing his dampened torso it was awesome. As he pulled the shirt over his head I could see all his muscles ripple as he outstretched his arms. The shirt landed on the floor and was followed by his gym shorts. He wasn't wearing any underwear so he was naked almost instantly. I wasn't far behind. I just stood there looking at his body and what a body. His pubic hair had turned almost all white so now he had almost no body hair of any other colour. The only dark hair he had was under his arms.

I just had to lick some of the sweat from his chest before he had a chance to move. I found his nipples and pinched them between my teeth. That brought about a series of oohs and aahs and the more he moaned the more I liked it. Pretty soon I was able to work my way to his hips. His hips were hair free and smooth as a baby's bottom. I particularly liked the feel of that skin on my tongue and lips. Kneeling in front of him and holding onto his ass cheeks for support, I encircled his cock and balls with my tongue. Using one hand to cup his balls and simultaneously aim his cock I closed my mouth around it and slid it slowly into me. I could taste his precum mixed with sweat as I started to slither up and down his shaft. Mark was moaning with delight as he rubbed his hands about my shoulders and neck and his fingers through my hair.

I felt Mark gently pulling at my arms, indicating for me to stand up. When I stood we came together then fell onto the bed. We rolled on and off of each other, intertwining arms and legs. Kissing each other all the while. We stayed in bed for the rest of the evening, taking turns sucking and kissing each other.

Mark was a great lover and seemed to know when it was time to escalate things. Mark was on top of me and spun around so that he could suck my cock. When he did he straddled my head which presented his cockhead to me. From my vantage point I could see his low hanging balls as his cock disappeared into my mouth. His balls were surrounded by snow white hair which made them look even more erotic than before. Mark was driving me crazy with his best ever blow job and his beautiful balls slapping against my nose and eyes. I couldn't stand it and tried to get out from under him but he pinned me to the bed and continued at a pace that I couldn't stand. I felt myself about to cum and whimpered in order to forwarn Mark. But before I could cum, Mark began to shiver and grind against my face. This sent me over the edge and I came. Mark stayed until he was satisfied that I was all done then he climbed off and turned around to face me. "I don't cum anymore like before" he said. "Since the operation I cum inside". I knew what he was talking about but had forgotten that he had a prostate operation.

We lay together for a while longer before covering up and saying goodnight. Mark didn't wear pyjamas that night. I was glad because I enjoyed the feeling of his cock against my ass. His banana sized cock stayed semi-hard long enough for me to enjoy it until I passed out.

We spent the next couple of days catching up on each other's lives. Mark was thrilled that I had retired and after a short discussion we decided that the right thing to do was to stay together. "I have always loved you and always will" I said to him a thousand times in the next thousand days. Each and every time the response was always the same; "my own Donald, I love you". The flowers in Mark's garden are just a wee bit brighter these days and the sun shines just a wee bit brighter. The days and nights are never quite long enough. Every day I can't wait for bedtime and every night I can't wait for daybreak. I wake up every morning looking in heavens eyes. This is happiness. I am happy.

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