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Paula's Online Journal
30 Nov 1999, Part 3 - And Now Some Good Stuff
November - we are almost there... There have been some great moments, some very special moments and I have been touched by many friends who have given such comfort. It reminds me of a quote which says that to measure a person's success or life, count their friends. Thank you to all who have really been there and helped me.
I had been volunteering at CAP (Cascade AIDS Project) until my time and career search really became time consuming. I miss my time there, I feel like a part of me is missing since I have not been able to go in there. The people are really nice and I truly enjoyed working with them, of being a part of an important support organization. I received a letter from CAP in the mail, which I initially figured was a volunteer update or an event newsletter. When I read it, I cried. I was so touched and honored to be one of the recipients of their first annual Angel Award, which rewards volunteers for their work for CAP.
During one of my journeys downtown, I stopped by to see if Grace (the volunteer coordinator, with whom I did most of my work) was in. I just had to thank her and let her know that I would be attending the reception on December 1st, which is also World AIDS Awareness Day. Thank you again, Grace!.
In the middle of this, I also received a call from my long distance friend, Jean V. I had sent an email update out and she wanted to let me know she was there for me and in support of me, and to make sure I was okay. I am really blessed to know her and to have her as a friend. Thank you, Jean. That call went a long, long way and I will always remember that.
I smile when I think about the time I have been able to spend with Evan. Watching him grow, develop his verbal skills, learning how to push my buttons, to push that negotiating phase. Mostly, I really enjoy watching his enthusiasm, curiousity and sense of adventure and humor. I am so glad to not have missed out on all this, to have been and be such a part of his life.
With me through most of this has also been, Patti. Her support, humor, friendship and encouragement have been wonderful. Thank you, Patti!
I am still looking for work, am still hopeful, if not occasionally frustrated and puzzled about the best way to "sell" myself. I have my struggles and I have also been able to experience a lot of joy. I have been asked to be a part of Esprit, on a political activism panel - me? I continue to try and stay in contact with Lori on workplace issues. And, I continue to meet new friends, either directly through my website or because my link is the only active link on the NWGA's website.
Hey, plus, if you are reading this, you are experiencing the result of a lot of hours of my creative expression, to design and develop a site that is friendly, fun and hopefully informative. This change has been on my mind for some time and it has been nice to have an outlet.
On the transition front, I have been asked by both of my therapists if I have slowed down my transition. Have I? I suppose in some ways, yes. I am in a place where I find I must continue to be a part of my whole life, that I have many important transitions developing, that I cannot do one, then come back and do another, then do another after that. My view of my transition is that I continue to have all parts of my life - sort of normal, I suppose. I work on everything at the same time. So, it may seem slower, but it is definitely fuller.
So, I have had some very wonderful moments and these have definitely helped to keep me going and moving forward.
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