Dear Friends:

I would have preferred a more personal way to talk to you, but, in light of the recent brutal death of Matthew Shepard (the 21 year old Wyoming student who was tortured and brutally murdered because he was gay), I felt a great need to write as soon as possible to all my dear and close friends.

The first reason I am writing is to ask you to support the passage of the Federal Hate Crimes Protection Act. Information about this act can be found at the Human Rights Campaign's web site,

I strongly feel that regardless of what we believe is right, in our hearts we know that all human life is precious and that no one has the right to take life away. This is not about special rights nor is it about saying that a particular "way of life" is right or wrong. This is about human life and respect for it. It is about sending the message that hate and violence are not to be tolerated (I personally envision the struggle of the Jews or the incarceration of my family during WW II as examples of hate and ignorance).

The second reason I am writing is to explain why I feel the first reason is so important to me. I am sitting here with worry, fear and great anxiety. I am also hopeful for you all have known me for some time and I think you know the person that I am inside, in my heart. Perhaps, knowing someone who is affected, for better or worse, by the passage or blockage of this act, it may have some influence on you.

For the last year and a half, I have been working significantly on an issue that has really been a part of me for most of my life, starting back when I was child (of course, who doesn't have something?). The recent murder of Matthew affected me very deeply, it left me very emotionally upset and angry. I was moved to tears, to disbelief and to take a greater stand. Part of that stand is to speak, to be. If I remain hidden away, I might be safe, but I also then prove "their" side right, that I should feel guilty and wrong, that I should never be seen, that no one should know that I (and "we" in general) exist. What I am is transgendered, of GLBT (Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgender).

Being transgendered means that I was/am born genetically male (a scientific categorization), but emotionally and mentally I feel more female (a psychological categorization). The medical terminology is Gender Identity Dysphoria. To the "casual" observer, I would be called a cross-dresser, though for me it is much more than this. I do not ask you to understand, how can I when it is not some thing that I can say I fully understand nor does the medical field even fully understand. Some of you may be very overwhelmed, some shocked, and hopefully, some accepting.

The psychological term for my specific condition is called transsexuality. The familiar term people use is "a woman/man trapped in a man's/woman's body." You have probably heard of sex/gender reassignment surgery. Not all transsexuals choose this path, though many do. My journey is young, and the destination has not fully been decided. What I do know is that this is me. This is not a "hobby" and it is not a fetish (though for some cross-dressing is). I, personally, do not feel as though I am really cross-dressing.

I do not come out to you lightly. I trust, respect and care about you very much. This is why I am writing to you. In memory of an innocent, young man; in standing up for everyone's right to a precious life; in reclaiming my own dignity and self-acceptance. I fear the loss of your friendship, I fear the risk of hate and malice. It is now important enough to me to take this risk, to stand up not only for myself, but all minorities who struggle to be allowed the basic human freedom to just be.

This is big news to you, it will take some time to think about what this means to you. It is very hard to look at someone "differently" after you have known them, especially so about gender. I do have a web site that you are very welcome to visit, to read about my history, my journey and my thoughts (there are also some pictures if you are curious). If you have any questions please feel to contact me - you know my phone number, my email address is below.

With Love,