BookBear's Den
Welcome to my autobiography! First off Rick and I are a happy, loving, gay, bear couple living in Houston Texas. We've been together since September 14th, 1996. I'm sure to some of you this seems like no time at all to others it propably seems like a long time. To us it seems like only days instead of months.
I was born and raised in Pueblo Colorado, and if there is anything thing I can say about Pueblo is that it is a good place to be from. Although Colorado is a great place to be a kid. With so many outdoor activites and great places like The Great Sand Dunes National Monument, Mesa Verde and Pikes Peak there is so much to see and do.
Growing up music was always a big part of my life. From my
first record of Peter,
Paul and Mary to hearing every country act perform at
the Colorado State Fair music was around me. In my
twenties I discovered the Opera at the Santa Fe Opera and
became immediately hooked on the art. It was no wonder
that I would run a record store for a while or end up
married to a DJ.
After High school at Pueblo East High School I attended the
Universtiy
of Southern Colorado in Pueblo and Majored in
Anthropology and History. With a fine liberal
arts background I then began looking for an entry level
position at McDonald's.
I eventually ended up in Retail were I've stayed for most of My adult life. I found my way to BookSelling about four years ago which is where I wished I had started. It is a very fullfiling occupation. I now manage a book store, one of the "chains", but the one with personality. I have never been happier with my career. When you get to my links pages you'll see lots of book, music, magazine, and comic links. I love these kinds of sites the best on the web and have spent hours surfing for them.
In the middle of all the retail work that I have done I
went to graduate school a year at the University of Northern
Colorado in Greeley where I was studying History. My
time in the Northern part of Colorado was fairly fun for
me. I enjoyed getting to live on my own for the first time
and started branching out into my own personality. I wish
that I had known about "Bears" back then since Greeley and
Denver both have active Bear groups. But, I truely wasn't
ready for the whole Gay experience then. I decided to try
a new locale for my life and moved to Houston.
My "Coming Out" story is a little different than
most. I was raised by very religous parents. One was
Baptist the other Penecostal so they took the most
conservative aspects of both and formed a hybrid. I
delayed coming out until I was 30. I fought the demons of
being raised in such a convservative background. Once I
kicked the closet doors open there was no stoppng me! While
I was dealing with these issues I found great comfort in
the Metropolitain
Community Church of the Resurrection here
in Houston.
As I was turning Twenty-nine I decided to had head back to
Colorado for a short time to help my family run their
business. I had been running a record store in Houston and
had decided to move back to Colorado feeling pretty beaten
up by the Music industry. Before I coud get home my father
had a massive heart attack. I rushed home to be by his
side and to help my mother and sister cope with the
situatuion. He had open heart surgery that was followed by
another massive heart attack in the the recovery room. We
watched six weeks as his life slowly ended. I had planned
his funeral and as the last part according to his wishes we
played The Dance by Garth Brooks. Then
and even
before that Garth Brooks would always be an important
artist for me.
I stayed and helped my mother for a while with the family
business. When we all saw the coming end of the business
too I headed back to Texas to my old record store job but
with a new outlook on life. You see, shortly after my
fathers death I saw the movie Defending Your Life
with Albert Brooks. The movie talks about being judged in
the afterlife by the fears you have overcome. I knew that
my biggest fear was facing my sexuality in an open and
positive way. It also meant finding peace with God. I
knew it was time for me to take a big step forward and face
my destiny.
I found that I was most comfortable in the company of Bears and other big guys. Here in Houston most of these guys can be found in the Leather community. I spent a lot of time in the Houston Area Bears and the Bars looking for Mr. Right. I found several Mr. Right Nows but finally met my life partner through my friend Wes. Rick and I have been together spiritually since we first met and moved in together a month later. I don't know what it was that attracted me to Rick, call it Kismet.
Rick and I are forming a life for ourselves which includes
an open spiritual path. One of the best parts of my
relationship with Rick is that he was born and raised
Jewish, and with my Christian background coupled a new
found interest some of the New Age topics I am happily
forced to look at my beliefs and seek understanding in new
and interesting ways.
When I began my quest to seek meaning in the world I had to
shake loose of the traditions that had been ingrained in me
from years of conservative Christian thinking. Over the
years I have met Gay men and women who have followed all
kids of spititual paths. Pagans, polithesists, agnostics,
Christians, and Jews to name a few. I found that the
search for meaning and purpose was not just happening in my
head but in others too. I started to seek out books and
people who could help.
I started to read as many things as I could get my hands on
about Gay sprituality. My book shelf is littered with
titles like Jesus Acted Up by Robert Goss,
Rick and I are planning a commitment ceremony for some time
in the near future. We want to incorporate both of our
traditions into this. We have talked about having my
former pastor from MCCR and his sisters Rabbi both
officiate at the Union. We both feel that it is very
important for us to connect to our traditions as we connect
with each other. When we have our ceremony we will be sure
to post some photos here on our page so that our Web family
can see how this all turned out!
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