This is my story...Whether you wish to believe or not is up to you. My name is Becca and I am 26years old. After an accident took my memory just before my 25th birthday 18 other people emerged in my head. They are the group that I refer to as Everybody. If not for them I would have certianly gone crazy and had to be hospitalized. They all have names and different stories to tell. It is up to each of them to tell you their own story. I do not wish to take anything away from them. I can just let you know what I know. I know that they are the most helpful beings on the planet. They have come to exist with love and respect for me and for my partner. They are like a part of our family. I do not wish them gone I do not wish that they had never come into being. I just take them for what they are. They are themselves and I'm sure that they will be around for the rest of my life or until they see fit for me to be whole again. There are 5 females and 13 males and they all love women some more than others and one of them is a gay male.
Ok for the background of me and then they can tell their own stories. I am like I said 26 years old. I am an out lesbian and I live with my partner of a month. She has been a rock with having to deal with all of this. She is the one thing that keeps me going through all the things that sometimes seem like madness. Everybody respects and loves Nick and they make sure that she is taken care of as well.
Ok some more background of how we came to be. We evolved out of years of torture from Nikki(a woman who is unfortunatley our biological mother). Whether she or my family saw it as torture is for them to decide. A day never went by that we saw her, that she didn't have something mean or demening to say. All of the stories I don't know because Everybody hasn't chosen to tell me yet. Apperently I was the object of her ridicule and hatred. Nikki has been as far back as I can imagine manic-depressive with bi-polar disorder. She has been hospitalized more times than I can count on both hands. She only wanted one child and that child was my older sister. I could not tell you all the things that Nikki did to me when I was an infant. Everybody keeps that a highly gaurded secret. They will probably tell you more on their own pages, but as for me they don't think that I am ready to know.
The time that Everybody distinctly emerged was after we saw a friend get into a car accident. It was just painful enough to our senses that Everybody couldn't hide any longer. That was about 9 months ago in Aug of 2000. The story of what happened isn't important just please know that it happened.
One thing that you have to imagine is that living in my head is like having 6 people yelling at you all at once and you don't know exactly what they are saying. Nick (my partner) has come to understand that this isn't easy on me and she knows that sometimes I have to go back inside myself and try to figure things out. Nick can tell the difference between Everybody when they emerge to take things on in my life. Nick will also have her own page to tell you what it is like to live with somebody with Dissassociative Identity Disorder. I don't call it Multiple Personality Disorder because that leads to conotations of the movie Sybil which has proven to be untrue.
I will start the pages from youngest to oldest because in our family that's how they come. It makes no one any more or less important than the others. We love each of them equally, but for different reasons and in different ways. One of the others will write for the one that doen't speak, but for the others they will write for themselves.
This page is dedicated to the ones that live inside my head and my heart. It is dedicated to the one that is my love, my life and my heart. It is dedicated to my best friend who has not known about Everybody as long as others have (Bob you lift my spirit like no other and you make me and us come to terms with things). This page is also dedicated to my sister,who without her I could have not gotten over some of the roughest times in my life. This is also for my niece Nat who I hope someday will understand what I go through and pray that she will never know what I know now. And last but not least it is dedicated to those suffereing from DID and those who are curious about what people living with DID go through. |
