Telling my Wife that I was a transvestite was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I had real trouble telling her, and it ended up with her taking about five attempts at guessing why I was convulsing from the tears streaming down my face. Finally she hit the nail on the head, and if anything it came as a brief moment of relief, finally glad that I was not having an affair or wanting to leave her. However, the shock of realisation finally hit and the two weeks that followed were nothing short of hell. We would both sit clutching each other in tears afraid of what the other person was feeling.  

Finally things seemed to settle and we both came round to the idea that this was something that we could manage between us.  

It has been just over a year now and things are fine and we can talk and joke about it with no problems at all. We even go shopping for clothes together and give each other advice on what to wear. Despite this she has not yet seen me as Amy, as she says it would freak her out too much. This is her wish and I must respect that.  

So what advice can I give for anyone wanting to tell their partner? Well these are a few things I have learned from my experiences but remember, every body's situation is different.  
 

 1.  I was lucky and have a very understanding wife but this is not always the case, and some women may not be able to accept the news. If you value your relationship at all costs then you must be sure that telling her is the right thing to do.   

2.  When you tell her don't do what I did and sit struggling to get the words out. Tell her straight, otherwise it only builds up tension and sets the mind racing with all the awful possibilities of what you might be about to tell her.   

3.  Don't expect her just to go 'Oh is that all' and accept it just like that. I know this has been the case for some people, but every one is different. Prepare yourself for a lot of talking and heartache as you explain what being a transvestite means to you.   

4.  When you do decide to tell her make sure it is a private moment with just the two of you and you have plenty of time to sit and discuss the matter.... we had little sleep that first night, I think we both cried ourselves to sleep with exhaustion.   

5.  Give her time to come to terms with the idea. DON'T rush things. Once things settle down you will feel a great urge to talk endlessly about being a transvestite, but take it steady and don't force the subject on to her. Let her take her own time in dealing with it. It took my wife a good six months before she could happily talk about my dressing.   

6.  Respect your wife's wishes, she may want to put certain limits on your dressing so that she can feel happy with it. A certain level of compromise may have to be reached. This will be difficult for both of you but as time goes on and she becomes more at ease with your dressing so some of these limits may start to relax.  

7. Above all give it time....... and remember hugs can help a lot to ease the pain.  

If you are thinking of telling your partner then GOOD LUCK, and if you want to talk about my experiences then please feel free to email me.