THE HETEROSEXUAL QUESTIONNAIRE

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

2. When and how did you decide that you were a heterosexual?

3. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexuality? How did they react?

4. Could it be that your heterosexuality is just a phase?

5. Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of your same gender?

6. If you have never slept with someone of your same gender, then how do you kow you wouldn't perfer it? Isn't it likely that you just haven't met the right same-sex partner yet?

7. Heterosexuals have a history of failures in gay relationships. Do you think you may have turned heterosexual out of fear of rejection?

8. Why do you flaunt your lifestyle with wedding rings, photos at work and talk of your heterosexual escapades?

9. Your heterosexuality doesn't offend me as long as you leave me alone, but why do so many heterosexulal try to seduce others into their orientation?

10. Are cancer, earthquakes and floods God's way of punishing heterosexuals?

11. Considering the battering, abuse and divorce rate associated with heterosexual coupling, why would you want to enter into that kind of relationship?

12. If you should choose to have childern, would you want them to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face?

13. How can you ever hope to become a whole person if you limit yourself to a compulsive, exclusively heterosexual lifestyle and remain unwilling to explore and develop your normal, healthy, homosexual potential?

14. And anyway, why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU MEET A QUEER PERSON:HINTS FOR HETEROSEXUALS

1. Do not run screaming from the room. This is rude.

2. If you must back away, do so slowly and with discretion.

3. Do not assume she/he is attracted to you.

4. Do not assume he/she is not attracted to you.

5. Do not assume that you are not attracted to her/him.

6. Do not expect him/her to be as excited about meeting a straight person as you may be about meeting a queer person.

7. Do not immediately start talking about your boy/girlfriend or husband/wife in order to make it clear that you are straight.

8. Do not ask them how they got that way. Instead, ask yourself how you got the way you are.

9. Do not assume they are dying to talk about being gay.

10. Do not expect them to refrain from talking about being gay.

11. Do not trivialize their experience by assuming it is a bedroom issue. They are gay twenty-four hours a day.