Subject: LOVE LOST AND FOUND..

Hi Reggie.. Surf past your homepage ... (actually I've been on the net since morning.. wow.. that's about 6 hours flat). Just having one of those days when I feel like- man, I don't want to work. I read through your "history"..a lot of what you say cuts deep.. I started equally late . my first boyfriend when I was 32..I'm a Malaysian Chinese and he's Malaysian Chinese as well (although his family has already migrated to Melbourne, and he's an Australian permanent resident). We were introduced by friends..and it didn't strike me as someone I will be in love with. It so happens he likes tennis and I was looking for a partner to play with. We went for tennis, and tennis leads to a movie, and movie leads to a dinner.. and so on. We started very slow..oh, don't be mistaken - both of us knew that the other is gay..- it's just that we were not actually looking for a relationship at the time - just friends..But yes, we ended up being lovers. He was my first boyfriend.. We were together for about 8 months before he has to go back - his mother was sick with cancer and he was the youngest and only unmarried son. It was REAL bad..for me. I cried myself to sleep and got drunk every night for 2 months. And the worst thing is that I have to put on a front and pretend as if nothing happen in front of my colleagues, as none of them know that I'm gay. After that I visited him a few times in Melbourne.. (we are now close friends. no longer lovers and still keep in touch with each other). I also tried a few rebound after that.. but it was no good...I keep comparing everyone with him (and of course everyone fall short) Man, it was selfish of me.. not giving people the chance to be themselves.. It took me 2 years to realize this..(so, rest assured, you're not conversative..love is what we are actually looking for..) I mean sex is fine.. I have my fair share of it, no big deal.. But being with someone you love, that's whole diffirent feeling.. I'm happily attached now.. have been together with Mikey for about 15 months. And we are starting a bakery and cafe towards the end of the year.. SO, take it easy.. your time will come... Just sharing Simon