DIANE IN FRONT OF MOON RIVER TOWER

FISH POND

DIANE BY HANDICAPPED SIGN A Statement?

WATERFALL

They then proceeded into the theater to check on tickets for the evening performance. Diane was just so excited that she had to visit the ladies room. It was soo big! and it was soo empty! Lest anyone should doubt the veracity of this account see the picture Desiree' caught below of our heroines return to mixed company.

DIANE EXITING LADIES ROOM

They exited the theater with tickets for the evening performance in hand and, stopping for one more picture, were off for their next destination.

Choosing to ignore the directions paragraph above, Diane chose to try a shortcut [according to a map] to get to the lake south of town. After about 10 minutes of making turns onto streets with no street signs and weren't listed on the maps anyway, she found herself one block south of the Andy Williams Theater parking lot ready to rejoin the only street in town. Refer to directions: end of line, don't pass go!

They now proceeded to the lake, found much vacant parking and departed the car for the Lakefront Park and the river (lake?) boat.

DIANE IN FRONT OF SHOWBOAT SIGN

Of course there were the requisite shops at the shoreline. Diane was captivated by a lady hand painting parasols in front of one shop. She went over and looked at each one, trying to find the perfect match of color and design. There were no prices listed so she went into the store to find out the cost. She could find no information in there so she went over to the lady doing the painting. The lady said that she would paint any of the designs available in any color and on any color parasol, which she had in stock. She would also paint your name on each alternating panel of the parasol -all for only $XX.XX. (Well a girl has to have some mystery about her to keep things interesting.) Diane and Desiree' both decided that there were poor little parasols just crying for a new home and we couldn't deny them.

Standing under her parasol, Diane then shot a picture of the "Branson Belle" showboat. The showboat has several different types and lengths of cruises including moonlight and dinner & dancing cruises. They chose not to try this adventure this time and headed back to the car so that they could return to the motel to rest and freshen up before returning to see Andy Williams that evening. Following the driving directions, they made it back to the motel uneventfully.

Diane and Desiree' took a short nap, freshened up and left early. Their plan was to park at the theater, walk to someplace to eat a leisurely dinner and then walk back over to the theater for the show. It was a good plan, however it did have its flaws. The parking lot was full up close because the matinee show was still in progress. Because they had to park farther away, they had a VERY steep hill to climb to get back to the theater. Once arriving back at the main drag, there didn't appear to be any NICE eating places within walking range unless you happened to be a long distance walker acclimated to mountainous terrain. They finally settled on a place they saw across the street about two blocks up the road. It turned out to be primarily a buffet restaurant catering to the tours being shuttled from show to show. The food wasn't all that good. Diane did get her share of looks as she stood in line and going to and from the line. That's ok, Diane had her share of comments about THEM too. After dinner, they headed, downhill, back to the theater. They arrived early so they explored the theater, visited the ladies room again - this time it wasn't empty - and then were shown to their seats.

Diane has been a lot of places but they were always stores, malls or outside. Never had she been in a "captive" setting such as a theater where she would be sandwiched between strangers for an hour or more. It was interesting! Desiree' was seated on Diane's right and next to Desiree' was a lady who wanted to talk. The seats on Diane's left were initially empty but finally a couple occupied them and the man sat next to Diane. In true male fashion, he claimed the armrest! No one can say whether he didn't find Diane attractive or was afraid to talk to a strange (!) woman with his wife seated right next to him but he didn't present any problems. The show was announced as lasting two hours with no intermissions and everyone was advised to attend to their needs before the performance began. Half way through the performance, Diane's needs asserted themselves and she caused several people to have to make way for her to get out of the row and eventually back in. She doesn't know what she expected, but in any case it turned out to be a non-event (the ladies room journey).

The show was over, everyone exited - completely ignoring Diane, and headed for home. Two tired girls found their motel, removed their clothes and makeup and jumped in bed so that they would be ready for the next day's adventures.

IT RAINED ALL NIGHT

On Sunday most of the theaters don't put on morning or matinee performances so there is only one thing left to do - shop! Branson does have about 4 different mall areas. Since Diane had experienced Branson yesterday, Dave would get to see it today. This also allowed some picture taking to prove to friends and family that he was really on this trip.

After another continental breakfast our shoppers headed for the mall. As usual, the journey required getting on the one street and following it to the point where there was a turnoff for the mall. They parked on the south side of the mall, got out and walked around the corner and there was a HARDWARE store! If a clothing store will always catch the eye of a lass, there is no more sure-fire store to catch a guy's eye than a hardware store. The window was chock full of items that screamed, "Come look at me!" However, since this was just the start of the day, Dave decided he would shop here last so he wouldn't have to carry any purchases all day.

Diane and Desiree' had decided that they would be cheerleaders for Halloween and were looking for a gold top to wear under the uniform white vest. That would be the main object of the day. Our stalwart shoppers visited every apparel shop at the mall, both men's and ladies but couldn't find the item for which they were looking. They did stop at one store, which had bracelets, that had magnets in them. The sales pitch was that the bracelets promoted healing and cured aches and pains. Dave found one that was a man's bracelet but could be worn by either Diane or Dave, so he bought it. Dave has since received many compliments on HIS bracelet, as has Diane on HER bracelet.

It was now getting late and our shoppers were getting hungry. There was one last stop to make however - the hardware store. The first item of interest was pre-made joints made of metal. They were used for erecting buildings more quickly and easily. Dave studied them for a while but then passed them up. He did take the name and the address of the manufacturer however. Dave has been looking for a windmill for a long time. This hardware store just happened to have a 7' tall windmill. That purchase was predestined. They even shipped it home for him so our travelers didn't have to lug it around in the car for the next two weeks. That store had more neat things than any other single store Dave had ever visited but Desiree' finally managed to get him out. It was a good thing. His credit card was melting!

They got in the car and headed back to THE STREET. They had thought about going to see Bobby Vinton tonight - if there were tickets so they drove along the street until coming to the Bobby Vinton Theater. There was a nice little restaurant right beside it that advertised a live singer, Kenny Parrot, so they decided to have dinner there. The singer played the guitar and sang "oldies". The food was good, the entertainment was good and our tired shoppers spent a quick two hours enjoying. Desiree' went to acquire tickets for the Vinton show while Dave saved their table. After her successful ticket trip, Desiree' returned to enjoy more singing. Soon it was time to leave for the evening Vinton show.

The show was good and lasted about two hours. Bobby Vinton had his whole family involved. Two daughters sang. Two sons were business managers. His wife was the produced and his mother sang and danced.

One thing our couple learned about Branson was that an individual cannot buy a good seat to any show. The best seats at all theaters are packaged for the tours. At the Andy Williams show they purchased their tickets that day and ended up sitting right next to people who had purchased their tickets a year ago.

They had seen Branson and were ready to leave. Back to the motel, repack and jump into bed ready to resume the trip in the morning.

Morning came and the nightly rain forgot to stop. Today Diane and Desiree' planned to drive to Meramec Caverns outside St. Louis. The rain was not part of the plan but it poured on our travelers all the way from Branson to Meremec Caverns. The tour group was not very large since it was a rainy Monday afternoon but that didn't dim Diane's excitement at going on her first tour "en femme".

Diane had chosen a black and white plaid pleated skirt and vest outfit for the day. She also wore a short sleeved, high necked eyelet blouse with black hose and black flats. A gold necklace and gold leaf shaped earrings and pin completed her outfit.

DIANE AT MEREMEC CAVERNS

Every time Diane took a step, the heels of her flats echoed off the stone path. She spent most of the tour trying to be inconspicuous by walking toe-heel instead of heel-toe. The tour was two miles long and took about 1 1/2 hours. Diane and Desiree' were ready to continue their journey as soon as it was over. A quick stop at the ladies room, a fast dash through the rain to the car and our duo was again on their way.

They drove toward St Louis, bypassed the city and headed toward Hannibal, the birthplace of Samuel Clements (Mark Twain). They spent the night en route and continued to Hannibal the next morning. Arriving in Hannibal, they stopped at a chamber of commerce building to find what attractions were available. The friendly people advised them of what there was to do and to see and sent them on their way for the only riverboat tour of the day, which started in about an hour. They arrived at the landing with plenty of time to get cameras, check the gift shop and board the boat. The tour was very interesting and the captain's dialogue was very informative. Desiree', a history buff, ate it up.

From the boat they drove to the main part of historical Hannibal. Dave had toured it before so he "people watched" while Desiree' toured Mark Twain's boyhood home, Becky Thatcher's parents' Tavern, Mark Twain's father's law office and observed the famous "White picket fence" that Tom got the local boys to pay him for the privilege of painting.

Our travelers spent the night in the "Tom & Huck Motel". The next morning the plan was to visit the Mark Twain Cave and visit the museum. The day was beautiful but the temperature in the cave is always about 55 degrees. Diane chose a white silk top and a royal blue straight skirt with "barely there" color hose and red flats and took her red car coat.

"TOM LOVE BECKY"(DIANE)

DIANE IN FRONT OF ENTRANCE

The girls arrived a little early for the tour so they spent some time in the gift shop and taking pictures. Finally they just mingled with the other people waiting for the tour to form. This was the second cave tour for Diane in two days. She was becoming an old hand at this touring business.

The tour finally formed up and got started. It was interesting but basically a cave is a cave. When the tour was over, the guide asked, "Would you two ladies like to have me take your picture by the entrance?" We accepted and followed him through several groups of people, back out the door and to the cave entrance. Everyone watched us like we were celebrities - and we were! They just didn't know why.

They left the cave area and stopped at Lover's Leap, a bluff overlooking the Mississippi that they had seen from the riverboat yesterday.

DIANE AT LOVER'S LEAP RIVERBOAT AND BRIDGE

They then returned to the museum for a last look at Samuel Clements nee Mark Twain and then were on their way to Minneapolis, Minnesota!

Desiree' saw cornfields for 12 hours. She was never so glad to stop for the night as that night, only two hours from our friends, the Grahams, in Minneapolis. Diane did fine. She spent twelve hours dressed traveling across the heartland of our country.

Diane and Desiree' were now in Minnesota in October. IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE COOL!! Why is the temperature in the eighty's? Because of the warm temperatures, the color change is late this year!

Our pair got settled in a motel, unpacked and then called on Robert and Onnalee Graham. Onnalee is the assistant executive director of SPICE and the editor of the Sweetheart Connection. We chatted while Robert prepared a gourmet delight meal for us that evening.

Plans were made for a journey to the north the next day to see the changing colors. Diane chose a plaid royal blue skirt with a white nylon short sleeved blouse and a red cardigan sweater for her leaf-looking trip. She also selected black hose and black flats.

The drive north was pretty as the group visited and looked at the scenery. They turned off of the interstate at the proper time and somewhat later the "fit hit the shan". Doesn't everyone know that there is NOTHING worse than a pilot trying to find his way on the ground? Here we had one pilot, Sofronia, giving directions to another pilot, Diane. When you have a crossdressed male, do you stop to ask directions or not? And if you stop, who asks - the male or the femme?

We stopped and Desiree' got to go ask! We only passed the entrance we were looking for twice more before finding it. We then drove back into the woods and came to a boat landing ramp where we parked and got out.

DIANE, SOFRONIA AND ONNALEE BY WATER

DIANE, SOFRONIA AND ONNALEE BY WOODS

Our explorers resumed their journey to find the main entrance to the intended park and were successful. They parked outside a ranger's building and walked out onto a deck overlooking many beautiful views. Our four girls just stood, talked, and visited with each other. Eventually a ranger informed them that it was closing time and they would have to leave.

Robert was getting paid to be Sofronia the next day (Saturday) and be on a gender panel for an instructional seminar. Onnalee, Dave and Desiree would go see an exhibit of Onnalee's watercolors, which were on display. Then Onnalee would take them to the site of the Wednesday's activity for SPICE 99 - a state park just off the end of the runway at Minneapolis Airport. Stay tuned for more information on SPICE 99 the Femme Forum.

Saturday after the planned activities, our girls went back to the motel, got some rest, changed clothes and the four girls: Sofronia, Onnalee, Diane and Desiree' plus another Beta Gamma girl, Sharon Overby, went out to DINE!

Diane choose a blue and creme checked suit with a white nylon blouse to wear for dinner. It was the only semi-dressy thing she had brought. The group arrived at the restaurant and were ushered clear across the center of the floor to their table. All eyes were upon them. The eyes were really on Sofronia, Onnalee and Sharon: all women over Six feet two. Diane and Desiree' both measure five foot eight or less. The girls had a grand meal and a wonderful time. They chatted as if no one else existed - and they didn't. The clue to having fun dressed en femme while out is to ignore everyone else and be yourself.

On Sunday, Onnalee and Robert took Dave and Desiree' to the Lincoln Deli for brunch and then on a driving tour of Minneapolis. They hit every spot of interest in Minneapolis. Robert and Onnalee then went home to catch up on things that had been piling up awaiting their care and Diane and Desiree returned to the motel to rest and plan the attack on the Mall of America (locally known as HUGE-DALE) the next day.

Other than the fact that the mall had a whole amusement park INSIDE in the middle of the mall, it is just another mall. It has more stores than most but not necessarily a wider selection. The girls walked the obligatory walk around each of the mall's three levels, got a bit to eat and were ready to leave. They did eat at the rain forest restaurant. Unfortunately, they got a bad table location and so didn't get to see much of what the interest in the restaurant was about. They did purchase a thank you gift for the Grahams, which they delivered that evening. If you are interested, you might ask Robert what they got and why they got it.

Our travelers said their good-byes as they planned to leave the next morning. Robert suggested that they take Rt. 61 to La Crosse Wis. for an excellent view of color changes and scenery. Diane said that she would consider it and the girls were on their way.

Then next morning they loaded the car and decided to take the scenic route. The ride was beautiful and they took a lot of pictures. Only much later did they find out that the film was not firmly engaged on the take-up reel and they actually didn't get one single picture.

It was a beautiful ride and they could see where the Inland Sea shores had been one time millions of years ago. There were now bluffs sticking up many miles apart where the shores had been.

When they arrived in La Crosse, they decided that since they were only a few hours from Dave's sister's house that they might as well go drop in on them. They did and spent a couple of days and then drove down to visit Dave's mother. [See I Told My Mother elsewhere on this web site.]

New Salem, Illinois was the next stop on the agenda. New Salem was the town in which Abe Lincoln spent about six years before entering politics. It is a restored village with volunteers dressed in period costumes telling the story of each particular building. This was more history and Desiree' just ate it up.

Desiree' had made motel reservations for Joplin, Mo. for that night so they had to get on the road. They had to cross all of Missouri in just a few hours. Upon arriving at the motel, a security man asked if they had reservations. They said yes and he said, "Its a good thing. The place is oversold!"

They got situated in their room, cleaned up a bit and went next door for a late dinner. They then returned to the room to prepare for the final leg of their journey - back to Fort Worth. They watched the weather channel to try to decide on a route and discovered that just as it had on the day we left, they were to be greeted back by a full day of driving in the rain. In Oklahoma City they stopped to get gas and it was raining and blowing so hard that they just had to sit in the car and wait.

They did make it back. Tired but happy. They had traveled over 3000 miles in 14 days and were still speaking to each other in a civil voice.

Once they get all of the washing, ironing, cleaning, etc done, they only have a week or two before they embark on the Dignity Caribbean Cruise and then go directly to Orlando, FL for a week of fun and sun.

This life of the retired is a tough, wearing job - but somebody has to do it. At least that's what Desiree' tells Dave.

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