BACK
Last month I wrote an article about how much I enjoyed the 1996 Texas "T" Party. This month I am going to continue with some of my experiences at the "T" and expand those experiences into questions and observations of the Transgendered community as a whole. As I have stated in previous articles, this article is based wholly upon my experiences and observations.
I always enjoy the venders' area at the "T". Various venders offer many items which are hard to find locally or by mail order. You can also handle the merchandise at the venders' area, which is a bonus. I presume that the Phillips' spend a lot of time looking for venders who are interested in attending the "T" and who also carry items which members of the community might be interested in purchasing.
I talked with Barbara, owner of Barbara's Fashions for about 20 minutes one day. She has a complete line of square dance outfits and is expanding into fantasy clothing (You know...french maid outfits, cotillion ball gowns, etc). Even though this was her first gender event she was very down-to- earth and easy to talk to. She expressed her willingness to work privately by appointment with members of the community to serve their needs. During this conversation, she related an incident which had happened at her store. A male came in and wanted to try on some "sassy pants". She provided some of various sizes and styles and directed him to a dressing booth. All went well until he decided that he wanted to parade around the store dressed only in the "sassy pants". Barbara stated that another customer, a 70+ year old female almost had apoplexy when she saw him parading around.
This story leads me into the theme of this article...can you trust anyone in the gender community? Several years ago when I was new to Delta Omega, a member warned me against revealing anything of my personal life to anyone in the club. Prior to my initial interview I was told to get a post office box and decide upon a pseudo identity to protect me from both the transgendered and straight communities. I have read articles written by members of the gender community recounting incidences of situations in which a crossdresser in a position of authority was excessively harsh in dealing with another crossdresser lest he be thought to be one.
As I have become more active in the club, I have seen numerous instances of promises being made to do a specific thing. The promise was apparently forgotten as easily and quickly as it was made. The sad thing about these incidences is that the promisor almost never takes the time to tell the promisee that some situation will prevent the act from being performed. I would guess that we have all run into this is one form or another: a promise to call, a newsletter or book borrowed with a promise to return it, a promise to perform some act such as writing an article, buying soft drinks for the meeting, etc. In most cases the person who acted is left hanging on the promise.
I have a very hard time believing that in our male lives we would exhibit this behavior and definitely wouldn't tolerate it from anyone who worked for us. Someone who exhibited this behavior socially would either be downgraded on our social list or expunged altogether.
If YOU wouldn't tolerate this behavior in your everyday lifestyle, why do you perform it in your alternate lifestyle?
Let us return to the heady atmosphere of the "T" party and the vendors' area. I made a very expensive purchase from _______________. I was told that I could expect delivery in 10 to 14 days. A month later I called the west coast from Texas. I was told that the owner was out of town but that as soon as he got back, he would look into the situation and return my call. Two weeks later I wrote asking what the situation was. The owners business manager had let him down and his subcontractor had lied about mailing the item. I received it about a week later. Although I was happy to receive my purchase, I doubt that I will order from that source again.
As some of you may know, I do some professional video taping. I asked Jon Davis if I could videotape his wig care seminar at the 1996 Texas "T" Party for my own use. I had already purchased admissions for my spouse and myself. Jon was receptive to the idea and suggested that if he and Bill (his business manager) liked the tape, they would be interested in having it edited for commercial sale. I taped the session and copied the tape for them. It was periodically shown at their booth in the vendors' area for the rest of the "T". After two long distance telephone calls to discuss further production of the tape with no response, I wrote a letter asking for negotiations or the return of my tape. A month later I still have had no response. I guess I'm naive but I just don't understand why they can't make some response.
Have you found yourself on either side of any situations similar to the above? Did you act responsibly? If you happened to be on the negative side, what was your goal or purpose? It is very hard to be accepted as you would like when the group to which you belong has a reputation for acting irresponsibly. Ask yourself if your actions help further your goals, whatever they may be. Then ask if they help gain acceptance for the gender community. If the answers to both questions are YES, our community will be a much better place.