We are strange, we are weird we are unusual, we are misunderstood. We are part time ladies in a male dominated world. We find pleasure in dressing and acting as women, we find joy in the restrictive comfort of bra and girdles. We don wigs and makeup and do our best to create the most acceptable woman possible, yet knowing all the time it is a temporary fancy with our male self being at the root of our lives.

We join together with like "sisters" finding solace and encouragement in sharing our little quirks. We praise and make comment as women, knowing all the time that the time is coming when the dress comes off and the episodes are over. We wonder where we fit in the social structure, seeking solace and encouragement from all others in the transgendered world, yet maintaining our identities as male, heterosexual crossdressers, and better than others in the gender field because we are confident of our basic maleness. We associate with those who are gay and lesbian because they are forgiving and accepting and allow us to don our finery in their bars and at their affairs. We associate with their goals, because we agree that gay and lesbian rights are due, and because in some way it might further our own goals to be acceptable to all of society. Our leaders coin words and phrases to indicate our differences lest we be accused of being gay or lesbian ourselves.

The time has come to evaluate our position in the transgendered society and ask the tough questions. Are we gay? Are we lesbian? Does hugging another male, while both are dressed en femme make each one a lesbian? Does befriending another male while so dressed make each of us gay? Are we superior to transsexuals because we have only recreational cross dressing in mind and do not consider sexual reassignment? Is it possible we are all the same, with minor differences?

We are driven by impulses we did not seek but have found pleasurable. The path has many rest stops or "towns" which provide solace to different levels in the gender field. I met a man, with full beard and cd needs, who could not find answers in Tri-Ess and so felt left out. I know another person who dressed en femme, is beautiful, but is satisfied by wearing female socks, and has little need to fully dress. I know another who had a fetish, if that is the right word, for corsets and no general organization served his purpose. I can add gay men and lesbian women whom I have met, and of recent times, a cder who is now a transsexual and well on the way to sexual reassignment. The key seems to be to find happiness you have to stay on the path until you find the right "town" where you are comfortable. It could be at home, it could be at group meetings, it could be just simple acceptance of yourself as you are.

I have pondered the question, am I gay, are all crossdressers gay? Are we lesbian? The answer is simple. We are all in this together. It matters not what the label, as I will dress the same way if I am called homosexual or heterosexual. I will find the same delight in sharing things feminine whether I be called a man in woman's clothing or odd. I truly believe the label is the problem. We are all brothers and sisters in the transgendered world and should delight in each others help. Whether I am a closet cder, gay, lesbian, transsexual, a male lesbian. it is of little import. We are brothers and sisters sharing much in common and should not let labels be a divisive force.

Devil Woman Diablo Valley Girls Newsletter Sept 95 Page 2