As has been stated many times, significant others come in all shapes and sizes and certainly vary in their acceptance of crossdressing. Some, of course, have been accepting from the "get go"; others accept Julie as they gradually begin to understand crossdressing; and some, of course, never accept or prefer not to have crossdressing impinge on their lives although they might not be openly hostile. Generally, support groups recognize these differences and hope over time that those who are hostile will with education become more accepting and tolerant.

Those of us who knew "nothing" in the beginning needed time to understand, time to feel comfortable about going out, time to feel that we could even open up to friends and relatives. Some significant others are even comfortable enough with crossdressing to appear on talk shows, be part of outreach activities, and at the very least hostess activities at their homes. Those SO's who are comfortable with crossdressing and are more open are generally considerate of their "sisters" who are more reluctant, recognizing that they too needed time to become comfortable.

However, there are times when significant others may be overly sensitive. For example, at many conferences and seminars helping professionals may wish to attend meetings for significant others to help learn more about their fears and anxieties. Although most SO's do not care if these interested persons attend, there are a few who resent highly any OUTSIDE person attending and may even prevent a seminar from being held until the offending outsider is removed.

Those who are interested in outreach find this hostility to outsiders to be in direct conflict with their ideas about educating the public.

So how do we deal with the overly sensitive? And not just the significant other - crossdressers too come in all shapes, sizes, and openness about their lifestyle. Many of us remember the hoopla at a Tri-Ess Holiday when the media got wind of the convention and came with cameras and personnel to interview. Although there were promises not to photograph ANYONE who did not wish to be, there were some minor slips, and many wives and crossdressers were extremely upset and voiced their opinions loudly and clearly for months afterwards. It appears that it was the suddenness of the media exposure and the lack of knowledge that it was going to take place that bothered the community so, and rightfully so.

However, in the long run it appeared that more good than bad came from the exposure. Closeted crossdressers appeared on the last day of the convention at the hotel thankful to have found a group. Most of the dire consequences expected never happened.

Perhaps by helping the overly sensitive become less sensitive we will help conquer our real enemy - fear.