This is
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| This is Queen Elizabeth II She'd be purdy, eh? |
My main purpose is to make everyone aware of the fact that Canada is a great place to live... (except if you are living in Montréal or Toronto; but they are not really in Canada) Canada is a beautiful country...with very distinct regions...and I can be gay in all of them...Whether it be from British Columbia, where the logging and the music is happening, or from Alberta, where the Nazi party (oops, I mean Reform Party) originated, or Ontario, where most of the population lies (they must think we have jobs or something out here) Or the maritimes, where the cod are dead and the priests are horny (they're supposed to be missionaries, not doing the Missionary position!) I also believe that Québec has the right to succession...so Vive le Québec Libre!!! I also believed that they got fucked over and that they should be given huge monetary compensation. The Durham report (1838) said that the Québec had no history and no culture and that they should be assimilated...exterminated, they meant! I believe that they have nothing but culture and their history is much more exciting than ours...
Anyway, I'm supposed to be going on about Canada, not Québec!!! Canada is a Constitutional monarchy (which means the head of our country, the Queen, has very little, to no power) and is represented in our country by the Governor-General. (The Governor General will only meet the queen once in his/her 7 yr appointment, at like a luncheon, with other Governor Generals from other commonwealth countries. So it's not like ) The Governor General signs bills that were passed in the two houses (House of Commons and the Senate) and also has the power to dissolve government. I don't think this is ever possible in my lifetime as the anti-monarchists would have a field day about the money it would cost the taxpayer to run another general election...and then you would see, bye-bye Governor General and also bye-bye monarchy! Look at Australia...
Our history is unique...We began as a French Colony. La Nouvelle France had vast lands from Nova Scotia all the way to present day Manitoba and as far north as the Hudson's Bay to the southernmost reaches of the Mississippi river in the states...but piece by piece the British took what they could from them... and finally all that was left was the present day Canadian areas and the Ohio river delta. Then in 1759 the Seven Years War broke out between the British and the French and after, let's say, seven years...it was over...hold on, no it wasn't...it was over in 1763...when the British took Québec City... The French took the rest of the years to resist the defeat...(maybe that's where they got the six years from? like, duh...) But the English felt sorry for the French (they also couldn't afford another all-out war) so in 1775, the British Governemnt passed a law called The Quebec Act. This law gave 4 fundamental rights to to the French.. The French language, The French Religion (Roman Catholic), the Seignourial System (a system of hereditary granting of land...also known as the long-lot system), and lastly, the French Civil Code would be the law of the land. But most of these laws have been grossly neglected by the English Imperialists...And now they wonder why there are problems with the Franco-Anglo relations...It's downright Apartheid! As Gilles Vigneault wrote many years ago, Gens du Pays c'est votre tour de vous laisser parler d'amour...Shit!!! I went on about Québec, again.
Now, I should go on about more recent times...We tend to rally around the Americans...good plan, huh? I suppose they figure that this way we won't expect them trying to take over us...But hey, any publication and any TV signals are jammed. Canadian Commercials are put in their place...And the magazines have Canadian Editions...hehehe...they can't invade our culture...you know, the one we don't have...
We tend to be innovators in things..If we have an ingenius physicist, they get a job at NASA...We get a good hockey player, they play for Team USA... We develop the Candu reactor, we give them away to Pakistan. We build armaments, they get sold to Iraq or Libya...If your country needs good developmenat at cheap prices...Call Crazy Jean!!! He undersells everybody! How does he do it, folks? He's Caarrrraaaazzzzyyyy! Anybody want to buy an Airport or a Military base? The hardware and personnel are We'll pay all costs! But if you act now...We'll give you 25 bonus "I want" requisition forms...good for anything...need out of that environmental disaster that you caused? The governemnt will find a way to cover it up for you...Call 1-800-SELL-OUT
Please note the satire in this page...I don't mean some of it...