It is often misleading or incorrectly assumed that D/s, BDSM is all about whips and chains. While this is an important aspect in the world of D/s, BDSM, S/M and B/D it is totally about consensual power exchange. As in any kind of relationship, constant communication and trust are the most important and basic elements in a successful relationship in the BDSM world.

BDSM, Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism are the four sides of BDSM. Bifemdomme focuses on exploring the power exchange of Dominance/Submission. However, aspects of the other three frequently find their way into the channel as well. Below is a brief attempt to describe D/s, followed by some reminders of the differences between real life and IRC BDSM.

The exchange of power between the Dominant (Domme or Mistress) and submissive (usually abbreviated as sub or subbie and sometimes slave) can provide and incredible "rush" of emotional, mental and physical arousal. The Domme is given almost near or absolute power of control over the submissive, usually physically, mentally and sexually. A true submissive will try to do almost anything to avoid disappointing their Mistress. What a true submissive desires the most is the love and affection of their Mistress. It is the Domme's job to guide and assist the submissive in feeling that she has earned the Mistress's rewards, affection and love. It is the Domme's job to set boundaries for the submissive. The Domme will constantly test and expand these boundaries. It is also the Domme's responsibility to be sensitive about the submissives special needs or restrictions of these boundaries. If a Domme fails to do this she will lose the trust and interest of the submissive. Remember to give the submissive positive reinforcement as you push her boundaries.

In many instances, the couple will choose to incorporate elements of bondage/discipline, using cuff's, gags, ropes, or other binding elements and acting out scenes of punishment and training, or Sadism/Masochism, using clamps, wax, whips, and other elements designed to inflict pain upon the submissive. In many BDSM circles where emphasis is on B/D or S/M, a Domme would be referred to as the "Top" and the submissive known as the "bottom". D/s, as well as, B/D and S/M involves a tremendous amount of trust. One person is placing herself under the control of the other for a scene, an evening, or the entire course of a relationship. The playing out of this power exchange can have lasting psychological, as well as, physical effects on both participants. The submissive is quite literally placing her life in the hands of the Domme, especially during scenes incorporating B/D or S/M. The Domme has to trust that the submissive has been completely honest about her limitations and physical condition. In many, but not all, long-term D/s relationships develop and love grows out of this trust and remarkable pleasure the two are able to create out of this power exchange.

Some points about BDSM on IRC are "public" refers to actions occurring in channel, specifically in Bifemdomme. "Private" refers to actions in private chat windows, dcc chat, or private channels. The most important lesson for anyone practicing D/s is how to keep their interactions Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Irc may not be real life but you are interacting with a real person or persons. Respect each other's boundaries and safety issues, whether physical, emotional, or relating to privacy. It doesn't matter which is Domme and which is submissive, be safe for yourself and your partner.

Be careful when enacting scenes, especially in channel. Yes, this is a cyber space and, therefore, precautions still must be adhered too. It is good to remember that even cyber scenes need to be based on reality or they could lead to emotional distress. Also, keep in mind that public scenes may be viewed by people who are relatively new or just curious and who may have no way of distinguishing what a person can realistically endure physically or emotionally. Never force a scene public or private on anyone. D/s is about the exchange of power, one woman submitting her will, desire and choices to another, but this is NOT about rape, actual slavery, or automatic control. Bifemdomme's policy is that every woman, whether Domme, submissive, or switch has the right to Refuse to participate in any scene, conversation, relationship or encounter of any kind.

There is a lot of responsibility involved in exploring D/s and using elements of B/D and S/M. This introduction in no way begins to cover what you need to know to ensure a safe, sane, consensual, and most importantly enjoyable encounter. There are literally thousands of books, magazines, newsgroups, and websites with this information on the subject. Please seek out some of these places and learn more about this world. Also please visit us in Bifemdomme and have fun.

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