We at #bifemdomme just want you to know – we do our best to make sure that there are only women in the channel – but you need to be aware that some men out there who feel the need to pretend to be women.

Poser: You will probably hear this word eventually while you are in channel. A poser is someone who pretends, in online to be something that they are not. For the purposes of #bifemdomme, this means a man who comes into the channel pretending to be a woman.

The Channel ops usually catch these people, that’s our job… we spend a lot of time checking out people’s ID’s, what channels they are in and, if necessary, quizzing them or calling them on the phone to voice verify them. Unfortunately we do not catch everyone, nor can we. Some people go to great lengths to create a persona that is female – perhaps they have too much time on their hands.

We want to tell you to put yourself first. It can be a very horrible and shocking experience to find out that the woman you’ve been "playing" with online is, in fact, a man. The purpose of this article is not to frighten you out of having meaningful and wonderful relationships on line, it just to suggest some ways to make sure the woman of your dreams is exactly that.

Get to know your play partner: When you meet someone in channel – get to know them. Just because other people are talking to them and interacting with them – doesn’t mean they are well known. #bifemdomme is a friendly channel. Sometimes it can be difficult to tell how long someone has been there.

Interact with your play partner a lot: If you’re considering a serious relationship with someone on line – do it carefully. Talk to them a lot, in channel and private – go to other channels they frequent. Talk and talk and talk.

Take time before serious steps: If you are looking to collar someone or be collared… please take your time. There is no rush. Online, as in real life – good things come to those who wait. If you’re considering making any sort of commitment to someone online – you may want to wait until such time as you can have a discussion on the phone – confirming that someone is who they say they are.

Voice verify: This is difficult – but let’s face it – if someone loves you? Or cares about you deeply? They’re not going to mind talking to you on the phone are they? Many people who are "pretending" to be female will come up with a variety of reasons as to why they "can’t" talk to you on the phone. Let’s see: they don’t give out their phone number, their "partner" (husband or wife) may be upset, they may even be indignant and say that if you really loved and/or trusted them you wouldn’t ask. It’s worth it. If someone is a woman – they are NOT going to mind if you talk to them on the phone. And, let’s fact it – if their partner is going to be angry about them taking a phone call – is that a situation you want to get involved in. Make sure that you have a long discussion – enjoy it – ask questions about things the two of you have discussed before. It is not sufficient to call someone, here a female voice say hello and hang up.

Follow your instincts: If you have doubts about someone – be wary. Human beings are pretty smart when it comes down to it. If you’re gut is warning you – then listen up.

This may all sound very overwhelming – but the bright side is that I can think of so many wonderful female couples that have met online – and have fulfilling wonderful D/s relationships. I know of people who have taken their online relationship real life and it’s working out really, really well.

contributed by: Ms`Moir


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