Q & A

Source: Cross Talk issue from Northern Concord

Should I tell my wife I’m a TV?

Only if she keeps trying to change your channels.

What is the best make-up for outdoor wear?

Cuprinol’s long lasting wood preserver and waterproof beard cover is excellent.

What is the difference between Transsexual, Transvestite, Transgender and Sexual Dysphoria?

Spelling and pronunciation.

What is a closet TV, and are they sane?

You buy them from ‘MFI’ and No, they usually have a screw loose.

Is there a cure for TVism?

Alcohol is thought to help, several of our members have been conducting intensive trials.

What should I do if I get ‘read’ in public?

Start using the Lounge Bar or the Snug.

Would electro-convulsive therapy help?

Only if you’re trying to get rid of all your beard growth at one go.

Which is the best TV Club to join?

BSB and Sky have amalgamated so you’ve not got much choice now. Stick with the BBC.

Is Sugaring less painful than Waxing?

No, they are both equally excruciating. However, the ‘Sugaring’ will appeal to the sado-masochists among us, as the pain is sweeter.

What does dysphoria mean?

According to the ‘Collins English Dictionary’

dys – means diseased, abnormal or faulty
pho – the third syllable of a giant’s incantation
ria – a long inlet of the sea coast

Therefore, dysphoria is short for a diseased giant shouting obscenities up an estuary.